wish list

Okay, so depression has set in.

I was talking with Mr. Wonderful last night about my "dream renovation."

You know, just perfecting my plans. You know, just in case we win the lottery or someone decides to give us a bazillion dollars. Both of which are unlikely considering the fact that we don't buy lottery tickets or know a bazillionaire.

My "dream renovation" includes making changes to every single room in our home.

Yup. Every single one.

Some are small changes, and some include either major demolition or construction. Some include both. I know it sounds crazy. But I love my home. I love the location of my home. I want to stay in my home forever. The problem? My home is the size of a matchbox! 

So, along with changes to the existing frame of the house, my dream reno involves doubling the size of our home. I can see it when I close my eyes. It's amazing.

So, where did the depression come from? Aside from the fact that I know this dream reno will never take place? Well, my existing kitchen is actually pretty perfect already. I just want to add a few cabinets. And the only appliance I really want is a new refrigerator. I have a double oven on my wish list, but it isn't necessary. I decided to price check my precious counter-depth refrigerator to see how much of a possibility it would be....oh, my!!!

I understand that to most people that isn't much, but to me that is just way too much to spend on appliances. As long as my food stays cold, I don't really care what it looks like. But I really do want it to be counter-depth. If I purchase a standard one, it will stick out too far into my kitchen and take up valuable space. That means that if I purchase a standard one, Mr. Wonderful will have to knock out the wall between the kitchen and the laundry room in order to save that space in the kitchen...but then that would take up valuable space in the laundry room. Hmmmmm. Quite the dilemma.

Moving on from my expensive taste...I have so many things on my "to do" list that I can't even keep up with it all.

I really want to make some clothes to put in the shop. I know exactly what patterns I would use and everything.

I also want to paint my house. I have been looking at the same colors for sooo long. Can't take it much longer.

I want to finish the work we started on the yard. We need to cut some more trees, grind more stumps, spray more crazy vines, get rid of the huge pile of bricks that our previous neighbors dumped over the fence before we moved there, level it all off, build a frame around the play area, fill with either recycled tires or mulch, and much more.

I want to sand and paint the front porch because it is chipping and looks terrible. 

I also want to build new front steps. The ones we have are too narrow.

I also have a project in mind for making house numbers...we always get someone else's package.

I want to make a new door hanger for every season. Our front door is black and from the road it always looks like it is open. I like to keep something hanging there so you know it is closed! Plus, my watermelon won't last much longer!

I definitely time to finish the girls playhouse. It needs to be painted. It needs paneling. It needs flooring.

I really need to find a chest to put in mine and Mr. Wonderful's room. Clothes are just taking over.

I want a hutch in my dining room and I'm pretty sure that Mr. Wonderful and I can build one when we finish my beautiful new built ins-that we haven't started yet.

Oh my goodness! I wrote the above portion of this post yesterday and came back to finish it today. As I was reading, I realized how greedy and materialistic I sound! I'm so embarrassed. 

The thing is...I really don't care about "things." I know it doesn't seem that way from the huge unfinished list of "things" I'm wishing for, but it's true. The reason behind my wanting my house to have more space is that we are truly overflowing. I don't think it is possible to purge anymore than I already have...my house is pretty barren already! I try to keep things simple and neat and clean. I despise clutter. A simple stack of mail on the counter will drive me nuts! I can't tell you how many times over the last 7 years of living in our house that I have gone through each room, one at a time, and donated truck loads of stuff; furniture, clothes, toys, everything you can imagine. Just trying to clean out and make more space for "living." My mom even told me once that I shouldn't get rid of so much stuff because I may need it one day!

The real reason I want my home to be more polished and larger is that I want the girls to want to be there when they get older. I'm not a big fan of sending my children to someone else's house. I prefer that my girls have their friends come to our home. I would rather let them have 5 friends each spend every single weekend with us than ever spend a night away. I'm not really that paranoid about others. I am just firm about what I want the girls to be exposed to.

I am extremely cautious about what they are allowed to watch on television or listen to on the radio. Mr. Wonderful and I avoid watching television at all when they are awake. Plus, we avoid using any foul language including seemingly harmless words such as stupid, shut up, butt, idiot, retarded, fart, etc. Gasp! I just typed them for all the world to see! You are probably convinced that I am nuts now...as if there were any doubt before...but I'm okay with that. I know that they will be exposed to the things of "the world" before long. I know that I can't keep them from "it" forever. But I do plan to protect them from "the world" as long as possible, and I plan to keep "it" out of my house forever. I want my home to be a safe place for them. A place where they don't have to worry about what anyone thinks of them. A place where they (and everyone who enters) can be comfortable just being themselves.  

I love to entertain and have people over. I want everyone to feel completely comfortable when they walk in my house. I want everyone to help themselves to whatever food or drink we have and know that it is okay to prop their feet on the coffee table. I want the girls to love bringing their friends over. I want their friends to love coming over. I have no way of knowing what someone else's life is like behind closed doors. I don't want my girls to be exposed to something that I'm not comfortable with. But I do know what my home is like. I do know how we live and act and talk and believe. Because I want everyone to come to my home, I want my home to be the place everyone wants to come to. I also want to have enough space for them to be comfortable when they arrive! 

Aside from wanting the girls and their friends to want to be at our house, I have another reason for wanting to do so much maintenance and expansion. My goal is to have our house completely handicap accessible within a few years. From the time I was about 10 years old, I have been around family members confined to wheel chairs and hospital beds. I have seen how difficult it is on the family who cares for them to do the things necessary when the space they are in does not allow for it. Mr. Wonderful and I turned ONLY 30 this year. It seems a bit soon to be concerned with accessibility, but actually it is the perfect time. Why wait until you need something right at that very second to try to get it? Why not look ahead? Even if we are not the ones who my need it, we both want it to be available for our family.
I want to build a master suite with double doors for the bedroom, closet and bath. I also want a walk-in shower that a wheel chair can be wheeled into. I want plenty of space around the "potty" (not toilet!) so that a "potty seat" can be placed over it. There will also have to be enough space to allow for several people in the bathroom at one time.
The front door of our home opens to a very narrow hallway. I would like to turn the front bath into a powder room. The space from the shower and linen closet would be opened to the front entrance. There is nothing worse than rubbing your knuckles against the wall while pushing a wheel chair. I don't want that to happen in my house. 
I am not too concerned with the other bedrooms, as long as we have one that is accessible. At the moment, we only have the one bathroom. It is right off the front hall (that will become a powder room). I really don't like it being there, because it is pretty much open to the family room. If someone stops by and I am getting out of the shower, it is impossible to sneak by without them seeing me.
My reason for wanting to do so much work to our yard is that it doesn't look (and really isn't) safe. Before we built our house, the lot we are on was vacant. The former owners allowed the city to dump loads of fill dirt on that lot. The former neighbors used it as a trash can. You won't believe me, but I'm gonna tell you anyway! Since Mr. Wonderful and I started cleaning up the side and back yard, we have found at least 20 lawn mower batteries, 5-6 rusty lawn chairs, 4 broken toddler riding toys, most of the pieces to an entire swing set, enough glass beer bottles to account for a dozen or more cases, 15 plastic hanging pots, several water hoses, almost an entire set of really nice hand weights (the bench is probably still buried back there), tires, bricks, floor tiles, carpet, roof shingles, at least 20 deflated basketballs, and so much more that I can't even think of. All in our back yard. Yeah, we busted our booties getting all of that cleaned up!!!! And we aren't even finished yet! We're taking volunteers, by the way, if you want to come help :) 
The back and side of our house look out to a corn field. Can you say snakes?! Eeek!! Because the barbed wire fence separating our property from the field is so overgrown, it has always concerned me. The girls love to be outside and play. But I am a bit nervous about snakes in the yard. We've had several over the years and so have our neighbors. If it were cleaned up so that I could see, I may be less worried.
We also have massive water oaks in our back yard. They lose limbs every single time the wind blows. A huge limb fell last year and took out part of our neighbors chain link fence. Thankfully, it missed their house and they weren't upset about the fence. I love the shade that the trees provide, but don't want anyone to get hurt. Eventually, they must all come down. We will, of course, plant new ones in their place and keep them trimmed to try to avoid this happening again.

I know that while trying to "justify" my wish list, I only sounded like a major complainer. But I really do feel that these things are important. Mr. Wonderful's grandfather told us the minute that we purchased our house that we would be busy maintaining it for the rest of our lives. We knew he was right. I also know that my wish list goes way beyond maintenance. That is why it is called a "wish" list! Come on...just admit it...you have one, too! 

Love and prayers for you all!

one little girl

Okay, so no. I don't have birthday party pictures yet. But, yes, I do have an excuse! In fact, I have several. Come on, you knew I would!! 

1. I have been busy.

2. When I haven't been busy, we've been gone to the lake.

3. The pictures aren't on my camera. My sister took them with hers.

4. She has been even more busy than I could ever imagine being and can't make me a cd.

5. I have no intentions of bugging her about it!! If she ever finds a moment to slow down, I want her to use it for herself!!!

Let's move on to things I do have.

1. two little girls in swimming lessons.

2. one little girl who has no fear of the water at all and will jump in without warning.

3. one little girl who is terrified of it and trying to get her into the pool is like trying to give a cat a bath.

4. one little girl who charms the lifeguards and other parents with her fun-loving personality.

5. one little girl who traumatizes the other childern with her screaming and makes the lifeguards wish they had called in sick.

6. one upset stomach at the thought of  six more days left of swimming lessons.

At the very last second on Friday, I sent the nanny a message and told her that the girls would start swimming lessons on Monday and that she should meet us at the pool every morning the next week. Her response? "Sure! No problem." Then I sent another message informing her that she would have to get into the water with Avie because of the pool's age requirements. Her response? "Um, are you serious? Okay...I guess." 

We spent that weekend at the lake. Because Anna Sue's birthdate is June 27, we decided to stay through Monday and skip the first lesson. Mr. Wonderful even surprised me and took off work so he could spend the day with us.

So Tuesday morning before the lesson, I had to run by the rec and give them our signed forms before we went to the pool. We were running very late because Addie cried and refused to put on her swimsuit before we left. She also cried and refused to let me fix her hair. Then she told me the whole way there that she didn't want to go to the pool. We were so late, that the nanny came looking for us. I ran out of the rec and she was sitting there in the parking lot. Poor girl. I quickly told her about the sweet older man who came in and asked about line dancing lessons for his wife...he wanted a LOT of information. (It was really sweet though!) and then we ran over to the pool. Thankfully, they were running behind, also, and hadn't started Avie's class. The nanny got in the pool with her and Avie was great. She loved it. She splashed like crazy...which the nanny loved by the way...dipped her face under water, and jumped off the side without a thought. Addie's class didn't start until a few minutes after Avie's, so she sat with me and watched. She commented on everything Avie and nanny did. She was loving it. No problem. Then her class started. She hopped right out of my lap and walked over with the others. No problem. They all sat down lined up on the side of the pool and stuck their legs in the water. No problem. Then the lifeguards put them in the water one at a time and asked them to hold a noodle and kick. No problem. It was Addie's turn. Problem!!! Addie began to scream and kick and claw. It was so terrible to watch. She finally calmed down and did a little better by the end of the class.

This morning when we were getting ready, Addie told me she didn't want to go to the pool. She said she was scared. When we got there, I had to walk her over to her class. I asked the lifeguards their names...Kyle, Andrew, & Megan...bless them! I told her that they were her friends and that they were going to take care of her. Kyle was the lucky one who I threw her to in the pool (I'm not cruel, I just knew if I put her on the ground she would walk away..if she's already in the water then she's more likely to stay) He was very sweet to her and she ended up doing better...not great, but better. When I get home tonight, I will talk to her again about her new friends Kyle, Andrew, and Megan and how much fun she had with them in the pool. It just takes more for her to trust someone. She isn't really that afraid of the water. She plays in the lake really well. I mean, she doesn't jump in like Avie does, but she isn't afraid to get in and splash. I think it has more to do with the people there. If the nanny were in the pool with her, I don't think she would have a problem. But (warning: I'm going to seem cruel again) "life" isn't going to accomodate her, so I'm not going to bend on this one. Her personality is so very much like mine. I truly do understand how she feels. Depending on the situation, I will usually try to do things to help her feel more comfortable. If she were afraid of the water, then I would get in with her. But there is no reason to be afraid of the lifeguards. She needs to be able to trust and understand that lifeguards, firemen, police officers, etc. are going to help her. I don't want her to be afraid of them. It concerns me to think that if there were some sort of emergency, that she would resist them. Perhaps we should take a trip to the fire station and let her see the trucks and meet the firemen. I wonder if they let you do that in our town. Hmmm. Time to make some phone calls and see what I can find out.

I also plan on picking up a few noodles to take to the lake with us this weekend so I can play/practice with both girls. My mother, Mrs. Incredible, the greatest woman in the world in my opinion (who does not read my blog so, no, I'm not sucking up to her) has offered to run the shop for me so that the girls and I can go back to the lake on Friday for an extra long weekend! Hooray!! We have so much fun with the family when we are there, I can't wait to get back. I know the nanny will be excited to find out she doesn't have to work all day Friday...I think we are leaving immediately after swimming lessons. Too bad Mr. Wonderful won't be able to come with us. He may even have to work for a while on Saturday. He would drive separate anyway, so that he can bring his boat. You know the fishing song by Brad Paisley? Well, that is what Mr. Wonderful would say if I tried to keep him from fishing. He hasn't been in years because he has been working too much and the girls have been keeping us busy and plus he sold his boat after having problems with it. He was finally able to get another boat after several years, and took it to the lake last weekend. I don't think I'll ever see him again! I know he loves me, but it may just be possible that he loves fishing more!!

Hope you all have a wonderful and safe weekend! 

Love and prayers for you all!!     

I survived!

Whew! Addie's 4th birthday party was this past weekend and I survived it!!

At last count, so did most of my friends and relatives ;)

I can't wait to show you pics and tell you all about it....coming soon!