almost 2011

I can't believe that Christmas is over and it is almost 2011. Mr. Wonderful and I started dating on New Year's Eve 2001, so this year makes it an official 10 years together. I know that because we've been married over 6 years some may consider it a bit silly to recognize a "dating" anniversary, but I plan on celebrating anyway! We waited much too long to be together for us to not enjoy every second of it!! I'm hoping that our sitter will come through for us so we can have a date night. I absolutely love spending time with Mr. Wonderful and the girls, but after such a difficult year, I'm ready for some alone time with him.

  I hope everyone has had a great holiday season. We certainly did. We spent Thanksgiving in Nashville and came home just in time for me to shop with my mom and sister the day after. We spent Christmas Eve with the grandparents and Christmas day with my parents. Christmas morning was extra special for us this year. Because we stayed up so late wrapping gifts for the girls, we slept a little late before getting up to finish cooking for lunch. We had been up for about an hour before the girls got up. Mr. Wonderful was in the middle of something, so I took the girls straight into our room to sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. Just as we were getting ready to bring the girls into the family room, Addie looked down the hallway and shouted, "I see a baby stroller!" Actually, it was a baby car seat. It took them over an hour to open all the gifts. Addie's were all wrapped in red princess paper and Avie's were in purple Tinkerbell paper. 

I always say that my sweet little girls are completely opposite, and I mean it. Even their approach to opening gifts was different! Addie opened them all as quickly as possible and didn't really pay attention to it all until after the paper was gone. Avie, on the other hand, wanted to play with each thing as she opened it. We had to persuade Addie to slow down and Avie to speed up! It was so much fun watching them. They were so surprised by it all. Everyone had been talking to them about it, but they just didn't know what to expect. This was the first year the girls were both old enough to really have fun and play with their gifts and we spent the entire morning together, just the four of us. It was such a special time.

Mr. Wonderful started some new meds last week and we are praying that they work. He seems to be feeling okay on them, just not as great as we had hoped. I am so ready to put all of this behind us. I know that God has a plan and a purpose for everything. I believe that with all of my heart. I'm not sure what His plan is for all of this, but I am certain that it has made me appreciate my little family even more. Every night we put Addie and Avie in bed and I think that it just wouldn't be possible to love them any more than I already do. Then every morning when I first lay eyes on them that love grows even stronger. The sound of their voice makes me smile and their sweet face makes my heart sing. For me, being a mother is the absolute greatest blessing in life. And as much as I love my precious little girls, I love my husband even more. He is the perfect partner for me to share my life with. Having him beside me makes every experience in life even better.

I'm not really a believer in making new year resolutions. It just seems that if a person were really going to do all those things then they wouldn't wait until the new year to start. I do, however, want to carry this "extreme appreciation" of my family throughout the year. I want to be able to look back not have any regrets about how I spent my time. I want to live in the moment, every moment. I want to drop what I'm doing and play dolls with the girls every time they ask. I want to run outside with them and teach them to ride their bikes. I want to jump on the trampoline until I can't take it anymore. I want to go out on more dates with Mr. Wonderful and us not feel guilty about leaving the girls. I want to spend our entire Spring doing yard work and our entire Summer at the lake. I want to cook and read and sew. 

But most of all, my prayer for the new year is that Mr. Wonderful will be healed. I pray that his symptoms will be relieved and that he will feel like enjoying life with us!!   

Train a child

As I was getting ready to go to my church's annual ladies ornament swap this week, Addie was following me around the house. She was questioning me about every move I made. "Is that the shirt you are going to wear?" "You doing your hair like that, Mommy?" "Who is going to be there?" "Is Micah's mommy going to be there?" "Is Brooks' mommy going to be there?" "What other friends are going to be there?" This questioning continued until my mother arrived and distracted her by starting to cook spaghetti for supper.

I was chatting with Addie's Sunday School teacher when I arrived and was telling her about the questioning I had gone through. She laughed because that is so typical of Addie to be so inquisitive. And then she said that Addie was just being "motherly" and wanted to make sure I was going somewhere that she approved and that I would be safe. 

I ended up staying a bit too late because I was having such a great time that I just didn't want to leave. When I got home, Addie met me at the door, "did you have fun with your friends?" I sure did. I walked into the kitchen where the pile of dishes I had left in the sink were gone. Warm spaghetti was on the stove. Both girls had been bathed and were in pjs. My mom was sitting on the couch reading to Avie, and my dad & Adam were in an intense debate over football. I sat down and told my mother every detail of the night. She listened as if it were the most interesting thing she had ever heard. After my parents, the Incredibles, had left, I sat on the couch for a long time, consumed with just being grateful for them. I began to think about Addie again and how sweet it was that she wanted to know everything that I was going to do. It reminded me of when I was younger and my mother's line of questioning before I left the house. I wish that I had thought of it as sweet back then.

When I was growing up, I felt like my parents were more strict than anyone else's, and they probably were. I remember so many times that I wasn't allowed to do things that everyone else did. Simple little things like wandering around with friends at a football game...I had to stay put. Or going to a dance at the rec center by myself...I went once and my dad had to stay the whole time. Or getting dropped off at the movies...Or spending the night with friends who my parents didn't know their parents. If I went to a baseball game, I wasn't allowed to walk over to the park next to it with all my friends, I had to stay inside the ball park. I wasn't allowed to go out both nights of the weekend, and I wasn't allowed to go out several weekends in a row. I wasn't allowed to talk on the phone for too long, and I certainly wasn't allowed to call boys on the phone. Whew, even now it sounds a little excessive. But I am so thankful for it. I certainly didn't appreciate it then, but now I intend to raise my girls the same way.

I have the greatest memories of my parents growing up. My dad has always been such a hard worker. He went through school and worked at the same time when we were little and worked two jobs after that. He was gone a good bit, but he made up for it when he was home. I remember him letting us put every single hair bow we owned in his hair, and that was a lot because there were three of us. I remember him playing and wrestling with us in the floor even after he had worked all day and was probably exhausted. I'm pretty sure dad is the one who taught me to Indian leg wrestle and I bet I can still beat anyone at it. Riding in the truck with him I got to hear a lot of great music, most of which are still my favorites and still remind me of him. And after a long day of shopping with my mom, my dad would sit and watch me model everything that I got, even though he didn't care one bit about clothes and probably didn't approve of most of them. I can remember sitting in his shop with him while he filled shotgun shells and that sometimes he would let me help. I remember him teaching me to ride my bike. I never was great at it because I am the least coordinated person in the world, but I can still hear him telling me to look out ahead of me instead of looking down. Without fail, my dad would be cleaning his guns whenever a boy came to the house. Most importantly, I remember waking up every Sunday morning to find him sitting at the table studying his bible.

Although my mom stayed home with us when we were young, she was a hard worker also. She always kept the house so clean and everything had a place. I remember when she went to work that she made us a chore chart of things that had to be done before she got home. Our chores even rotated each day so we all did equal amount of work. More than keeping the house clean, I think that was her way of keeping us from eating junk in front of the tv for the entire hour and a half before she got home. Because dad worked away from home so much, I remember my mom always being the one who cut the grass. After she cut the grass, we would have to go rake and clean it up. She went to my grandmothers probably every week and cleaned. And after my grandfather got sick, she went more often than that, cooking, cleaning, and helping take care of him. She has always been such a great caregiver. I got very sick with mono when I was in the 7th grade. (And, no, I hadn't kissed anyone...how unfair is that? Get sick with the "kissing disease" and have never even been kissed?!) I was extremely sick with it. I don't know exactly how much school I missed, but it seemed like months. I couldn't eat and lost a lot of weight. I ran a fever all the time and was very weak. I don't think my mother ever left my side. I remember her picking me up, a 7th grader, and carrying me down the hall to sit me in a cool bath when my fever was too high. She was just as great when I was in 10th grade and my sister and I were involved in a car accident. I was a little traumatized by the whole experience, I wasn't saved yet and it scared me to death, and I treated my mother horribly. But she stayed right there with me and even came to school with me my first day back to carry my books. She spent countless hours helping me catch up on all the work I missed while I was out. She was always great at that though. Every evening after school when I was little, I would sit at the kitchen table and do my homework while mom cooked supper. In the 9th grade, I was given the opportunity to go to New York City with a small group from school. I was a little nervous to have my mom go with me, but didn't really want to go without her either. I had the greatest time being there and experiencing that with her. We did all the tourist stuff, a lot of which I don't remember because we were all over the place. But I do remember getting to see the twin towers and I have a beautiful picture of them that I took. I'm not sure what it was, but I began to see her in a different way on that trip. I remember that there was a girl there who kept being rude to my mom, and my mom never said anything to her. At one point I got so fed up with it and felt so protective of mom that I finally stood up to the girl, who was twice my size, and I told her that she was not allowed to speak to my mother for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, the girl didn't pound me into the ground and just backed off.  

I can look at my life now and see so many similarities between the things my parents did and the things Mr Wonderful and I do. We think it is important to shelter the girls from the world...they will have to deal with it soon enough. When I blog, I refer to my parents as "the Incredibles" and that is exactly what I think of them. Mr. Wonderful and I respect their opinion so much and ask for it often. They are the most thoughtful and generous people I know. I have never called my mother for anything when she didn't come running. And often, I don't have the opportunity to ask her for anything because she is already offering. My dad is the same way. If I just mention something that needs to be done, he immediately makes plans to handle it. Watching him spend time with my little girls thrills my soul. I love to see them together. Oh, and the girls think my mother hung the moon. They squeal with delight at the slightest mention of either Gran or Papa.

I know that I am 29 years old and I need to grow up. I shouldn't be so dependent on my parents when I have children of my own. But I can't imagine my life without them in it. I call my mother almost every day just to chat. She is still my mother, but she is also my closest friend. With her I can confide anything. She keeps me grounded. She tells me when I'm out of line. She listens to me vent. She doesn't take it personal when I'm in a bad mood. She cries with me when things aren't going well. She is genuinely happy for me when I am happy. She holds me accountable. She understands me in a way that no one else ever has.

I am thankful for my sheltered childhood and for the incredible influence of my parents. Proverbs 22:6 says that if you train a child up in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it. I may have strayed pretty far from the way my parents taught for a while, but I am happy to say that I am older now and have no intentions of departing.     

These are the days of our lives

These are the days of our lives....

Ever watch soap operas? I watched Days of Our Lives some in high school. But I'm not sure why I watched. It got on my nerves really bad that there was always so much drama. The people on there always talked constantly about their problems, were always negative, and always lived in the past. Ugh. Completely annoying.

Well, lately I feel as though my life would make a pretty good soap opera. On top of our normal chaos, we've had a bit of drama. I've been waaayyy over dramatic about my shop, LizzieLu & BabySue. It is due to open around the first of March, and I have been on a roller coaster of emotions about it since I made the decision. I have questioned and doubted about every aspect of it.

I've come close to a nervous breakdown because of the financial stuff. I suppose they are trying to be helpful, but people always question me about the economy when they find out about the shop. Really? Do they think that I am not aware of what is going on in the world? Do they think I haven't considered it? Well, I have. I have been over and over and over it all. I always come up with the same thing. I feel confident that God gave me this desire and that it is His plan for me. I believe that no matter what happens with the shop, He will be glorified. 

I've fought with guilt over leaving the girls. I have never wanted to do anything but stay home with my sweet daughters. I want myself and Mr. Wonderful to be the major influence in their lives. And I know that who they spend the most time with will have the most impact on them. I want them to be home with me so that I can protect them from the world as long as possible. I don't want to have to ask someone else how their day went. I want to already know. I want to be there for them and be able to talk to them about things that happen throughout the day. At the same time, I know that they need the structure of preschool & daycare. They need to be around other people and children. Addie would benefit greatly from preschool, because she gets so nervous when she is presented with new situations or the unknown. I think it would help to expose her to other things and help her to be more outgoing and confident. Avie would benefit greatly from daycare, because she is so self-absorbed. She does whatever she wants, whenever she wants and doesn't care what anyone thinks or says or how it affects them. I have a very difficult time trying to discipline her. She doesn't seem to respond to anything. She is almost always getting into something and completely disregards the rules. I think it would help to get her away from me and put her in a group setting where everyone around her is following the same rules.

I have also struggled with the timing of the store opening because of Mr. Wonderful's health problems. He just isn't getting any better. He started a new IV treatment three weeks ago for his ITP (low platelets) and we found out this week that it isn't working. We go Monday to make a decision about what to do next. His ulcerative colitis is also acting up. He is on a new medicine for it, so we are praying that it will start working soon. The timing is also scary because Mr. Wonderful's job ends after this December. The company decided that they will move the project he has been working on to Texas where the home office is. We are praying that he will be given the opportunity to move into a new position in the Birmingham office. He has been told that this is likely to happen, but there are no guarantees. We are nervous, but trusting that God has a plan. He has never failed us and we know He will not now.

Knowing that I will be working outside the home 6 days a week after the shop opens, I feel like there is so much pressure on me to get the house in order. I feel it is necessary to clean out all the closets, cabinets, drawers, and have everything organized perfectly. I have been home for several years now. I can't even imagine what it will be like to get up every day, leave the house early in the morning, and not get home until late evening. When will I get all of my "house stuff" done? I know that it is possible because people do it all the time. I'm just not sure how it will work for me. It won't be long before I have to figure it out though! There are so many things that need to be done at the shop. Until now, most of the preparations have been over the phone and internet so I have been able to work from home. Not anymore. I plan on letting the girls come with me as long as possible. The first thing I will need to do at the shop is get a place for them to play. I'll gather some toys, games, movies and stuff from home. I have a tv I can take, but will need a fridge and probably a microwave. My sister has a table and chairs she is letting me have, but I may need to get a small couch so they have a comfy place to nap.

After the girls have their stuff in place, I will move all my sewing stuff to the shop. It has completely taken over my laundry and dining rooms. It just can't stay here. Plus, it will be nice to be able to leave a project out and not have to put it up every night. Maybe it will make me more productive!

Then comes the real LizzieLu work. Window displays, mannequins, inventory. So exciting and yet so exhausting. Hmmm, I think I'll get back in the bed for a while until the girls get up!

Love and prayers for you all!

It all started on Friday

I'm not sure why I am still up after such a busy weekend, but here I am. I'll try to keep my recap brief, but no promises.

It all started on Friday when the girls and I went shopping. They were supposed to be cowgirls for Halloween and I really wanted them to have cute boots!! I realize that I waited until the last minute but life has been so crazy the opportunity to shop just wasn't there. I had looked online and found the exact ones I wanted at Target so that was our destination.

First, I filled cups with juice and checked the bag for diapers and wipes, located my purse, phone and keys, and placed them on the table. Next, I got the girls dressed put shoes and socks on them, tried on two different pairs of jeans before I found one that actually fit me, threw on a t-shirt, grabbed blankets, papi, Happy, baby and woof woof and headed for the door. I called for the girls to come and they when they appeared, Addie had an armful of toys that she was trying to convince me to allow her to take with us and Avie had already taken off both shoes and was screaming because she couldn't get her socks off. I instructed the girls to stay put while I went outside and put my load of stuff in the car. Before I got down the steps, Addie had opened the door which allowed Avie to follow me down the steps. I ordered Addie to close the door. She started to throw a tantrum insisting that she wanted to come outside. I ordered her to close the door again. She continued in her tantrum about coming outside and added that she wanted her juice cup into her tantrum. I threw the stuff in the front seat, chased Avie across the back yard, and headed back up the steps. I sat Avie down and took Addie to her time-out spot to calm down. By the time I turned around, Avie had gotten my purse off the table, dumped it's contents onto the floor, and was searching for "nummy" also known as chewing gum. I grabbed her and my keys and walked out the door. This sent Addie back into a panic because she didn't get to go outside. I buckled Avie into her seat, cranked up the car, grabbed Addie off the bottom step, buckled her into her seat, and did the forbidden...I went back inside and left them in the car. I just stood there and looked at my house. It was trashed. Toys were everywhere. There was a wet diaper laying in the dining room floor. There were dirty dishes in the sink. There was clutter all over the counter. The bathroom had dirty clothes and wet towels on the floor. The beds weren't made.

I picked up my phone, purse and its contents, grabbed the diaper bag and cups, said a quick prayer for sanity and walked out the door leaving the mess behind. My mother would be so ashamed.

I ran through "Old McDondald's" as Addie calls it and got chicken strips and fries. I despise eating in the car about as much as I despise eating McDonald's food, but there are many times that it just doesn't make sense to go inside and sit down...especially with two toddlers who haven't had, but need a nap! After being fed the girls calmed down. I admit that they get it from me. I am such a grouch when I haven't eaten. We got to Target and went straight to the shoes. They were very picked over and didn't have many sizes to choose from. I wasn't sure what size Addie needed so I just picked up the one that looked close and started to put it on her. She cried and begged for the red sparkle shoes instead. I handed her a pair to put on her left foot while I tried a boot on her right. The boot was too big so I tried another. And another. Ugh! What kind of mother doesn't know what size shoe her own child wears?! Apparently, THIS mother!! I finally narrowed it down to a size 8. They didn't have any. I began to search for another style and Avie started getting restless in the shopping cart. Addie handed her some red sparkle shoes and she started to scream and cry because she couldn't get her shoes off. I was busy searching for any size 8 I could find and had tuned her out until I realized that there was a young woman giving me a very unapproving stare. I tuned her out also and continued to search. Others began to stare so I stopped to take Avie's shoes off. Then she cried because the red sparkle ones were too big and wouldn't stay on her foot. Addie was trying to talk me into letting her have some Dora house shoes (identical to the ones she has at home) and kept getting louder and louder. She had to be sure I heard her over Avie's screaming.

I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer, and squatted down to be eye level with Addie. I asked her if she was using her inside voice. She said she wanted Dora shoes. I asked, "what does your inside voice sound like?" She replied, "Inside voice....quiet. I want Dora shoes." I told her good job on her inside voice and to keep using it and reminded her that she has Dora shoes at home and she can put them on as soon as we get home. I stood and made eye contact with Avie. I swatted her thigh a bit (she was still squawking and I needed to get her attention) she stopped screaming and pouted. I told her that if she needed help with her shoes she needed to ask like a sweet girl and use her inside voice. She said, "pweeeez!" Finally, my little gremlins turned back into my sweet little girls. We found a pair of size 8 boots and just as I was going to try them on Addie, she decided she had to go potty...really bad. Off to the potty we went. We pottied, washed hands, talked to the sweet woman in there with us, thanked her for helping us with paper towels, and went back to the shoes. They fit. We bought them. We left the store. We got in the car. We headed to search for another Target store. What?! Yup. Those weren't the specific boots I wanted to I decided to go to another Target to see if they had the correct size in the ones I really wanted.

I had never been to this other Target and wasn't exactly sure where it was, but I went straight to it. The girls were great on the way. Avie was wearing her Auburn shirt and a man stopped us in the parking lot to ask her if she knew who Cam Newton was. I answered for her that, of course, we did. As he walked away, I told the girls to tell say War Eagle and to my surprise they both shouted (Avie a bit louder than Addie), "War Eagle, Hey!!" We went over to the shoes and found the exact boots I wanted for both girls. We put them on, put their shoes in the box, bought the right boots and returned the others. The girls were so sweet the entire time and stomped in their boots all the way to the car. As I loaded them up to go home, I thanked the girls for being so good and then I said another prayer. I thanked God for the incredible blessing of being their mother. I thanked Him for the good times and the bad. I thanked Him for helping me through every step of my day. Even through the things that seem trivial, He was right there with me. He was giving me the help and patience and guidance that I was asking for at just the moment I needed it.

On Saturday, Mr. Wonderful and the band he plays with, went to play at a fall festival for a church a couple of hours away from us. The girls and I stayed home because I wasn't sure what to expect at this event and I thought it would be difficult for the girls to be gone all day. I planned on working on the girls costumes and car decorations for our church's Trunk of Treats event the next night. We slept in and I played with the girls for a while then started on some laundry. I called to check on my mom and she reminded me that my in-laws' Trunk of Treats event was that afternoon...yikes! I said a quick prayer and scrambled around getting their costumes made as quickly as possible. I fed the girls lunch, put them to bed for a nap, and ran to put finishing touches on their costumes. As I was about to jump in the shower, my mom called and offered to come help get the girls ready. Sounds great to me! The girls took turns getting up from nap. Avie took her pants and diaper off and I had to change her and lay her back down. Addie heard Avie get up and decided she had to go potty. I was searching for pants that fit before I got in the shower and realized that the house still looked exactly as it did before I left to go to Target the day before. Oh, no!!! My mom could not see my house like that! I said a quick prayer and then made a mad dash through the house collecting dirty laundry and tossed it in a basket. I made another run through the house and picked up toys this time. On the next run I picked up the shreds of paper the girls had been "cooking" with earlier. I gathered all the dishes scattered on the counter and piled them into the sink (the dishwasher was full...of clean dishes that I didn't have time to put up). I jumped in and out of the shower, threw on clothes, and got Addie out of the bed. She never went to sleep and neither did Avie. My parents, the Incredibles, arrived and took over dressing the girls for me. They helped take some pictures, loaded the girls in the car for me, and we headed to the in-laws church. The girls ate way too much candy and we all had a great time seeing everyone. It got cold quicker than I expected so we left and went to get something to eat. We went in and sat this time at Arby's. The girls were sweet and ate fairly well. We left and Avie fell asleep before we made it a mile down the road. I took the girls inside and put pjs on them, started a load of laundry, and put the girls back into the car. We went to pick up Mr. Wonderful after he got back into town from the fall festival. We watched him unload and had fun running wild all over the empty church building. We got home super late and went straight to bed.

On Sunday, Mr. Wonderful got the girls up, fed them breakfast, and got them ready for church. I stayed in bed a bit too long and we ended up being late for Sunday School. The girls really wanted to hear Mr. Wonderful play the drums, so I let them sit out front in service with me for the very first time. Addie was excellent. She was so sweet sitting there watching. I think Avie did well considering her age. She occupied herself by dumping out the diaper bag. She found some Smarties in it and dropped them in the floor, but was still very good in my opinion. I took them to their class after the music was over and ended up staying to help out. After church, we went to my in-laws church for lunch. Left there and ran home to grab clothes to change into and headed back to our church. We helped get things ready for our trunk of treats event and as we parked our car in line to hand out candy, I realized that I didn't get the decorations together for it. Our car was the only one that wasn't decorated. Oh, well. We had candy, so I suppose that was good enough. The girls had a great time playing and eating candy. Addie even helped Mr. Wonderful give some out. I supervised the inflatables for a while. But after having to climb inside the bouncy several times to retrieve children who didn't want to come when their parents said to get out, I decided that wasn't really the job for me. I think I'll sign up for something else (anything else) next year. After helping clean up a few things, we headed home with two super tired little girls. Avie fell asleep before we got out of the parking lot. We came in, fed the girls a quick and extra late supper, and went to bed.

The girls and I slept late this morning and then got up to an odd-smelling house. Yup. Those dishes were still piled up in the sink. I give my mother full permission to now disown me. I wouldn't blame her at all. There were clothes, wet towels, and toys all over the floor. I sat with the girls and fed them breakfast then started unloading the dishwasher to load it again. I walked through the house several times to gather things and put them where they belong. I washed, dried and folded laundry. And then I realized it was Monday...Addie's dance day!! I looked at the clock and we didn't have long. I found Addie's dance uniform in a pile in the laundry room where it had been sitting last Monday. I dug through the dress-up box and found a similar outfit and put it on her. She cried because it wasn't like the ones her friends were going to wear. I found another similar outfit, put it on her and she was satisfied. I changed myself and Avie out of our pjs. I grabbed the diaper bag, purse, phone, keys, Happy, blankets, baby, woof woof, papi, and headed for the door. I threw it all in the front seat, buckled girls in, ran back in to fill cups, and we went to dance. We left dance, ran through the Arby's drive-thru and went to visit with Mr. Wonderful's grandmother for a while. When my mother-in-law got in from work we went to eat at "Old McDondald's" again. This time we went in and sat down. The girls weren't really hungry so I just go them a milkshake. They both went straight over to the play thing and climbed inside. About two seconds later Avie was screaming from the top of it because her legs were too short to climb up the next step. Into the cramped little tube I went. Round and round the steps I climbed. The smell got worse and worse the further up I got. I made it to the top where Avie was stuck, gave her a boost and turned to climb back down the steps. Several kids were coming from that direction so I ended up having to go down the slide just to get out. I have always been grossed out by those plastic playgrounds, but being inside one was worse than I thought. By the time I made it down the slide and back to my seat, Avie was stuck and screaming in the same spot as before. Being the wonderful mother that I am, I instructed Addie to climb up there and give her a boost. The girls loved it though. They ran and screamed and played and had the greatest time. They were both red-faced and sweaty when I put them in the car to go home. I took them straight inside the house and dunked them in the tub. Mr. Wonderful got home just in time to help dry their hair, put on pjs, and tuck them into bed. Thank you, God, for my wonderful husband who works so hard to provide for us. Thank you, God, for my amazing children and the time I get to spend with them. Thank you, God, for our extended family and the fun we have when we are with them. Thank you, God, for giving Your Son to die for us so that we can be forgiven and spend eternity with You. Please help me to live my life for you even in the chaos of every day.

Okay, so this was not anywhere close to brief. I realize that. But then again, you knew it wouldn't be!! As I was sitting here typing this tonight, I noticed that my house still smells a little odd. Then I remembered that I forgot to turn on the dishwasher. Nice. Maybe I should just throw those dishes away!!

I am hoping that tomorrow and the rest of the week will not be as crazy. I desperately need to clean out the car. It just plain nasty. It would also be really nice to have the opportunity to turn on my oven for something other than frozen pizza! No wonder none of my pants fit...an issue we will worry about some other time.

Love and prayer for you all!

completely forgot my point

I have so very many things on my mind tonight as I sit and stare at the computer. I have no idea what to write. I am just sitting and trying to make sense of all the stuff going on in my life right now. I can hear the thunder rumbling outside and occasionally the room lights up from a flash of lightening.

I'm not even sure if it is raining right now, but I'm guessing that it will be soon.

I have always been afraid of the weather. Not like screaming and running to hide under the bed-type afraid. But I do usually feel a knot form in my stomach when the wind blows too hard. I'm not sure why.

Maybe I'm afraid because weather is so unpredictable. My life may be chaotic and unplanned, but the "real" unknown is a fear of mine. To me the weather is a huge unknown and on top of that it has power that we can't control. That is another fear of mine-things I can't control. I don't care about controlling trivial things like people or personalities...I want to control the big stuff like keeping my family safe and healthy. I'm not sure that I can always keep them safe from the weather.

Maybe I'm afraid because the weather is such a vivid reminder of God and His strength to me. It is impossible for me to see the breeze blow through the trees and not think of how amazing He is. Or watch raindrops land on the windshield and not be baffled at how He created everything so perfectly. So when the weather gets a little rough, it makes me feel like maybe God is angry. I sometimes feel as though God is going to get tired of me not living life as He intended...and the storm is His anger rising. In reality I know that God won't wash me away because I am not perfect. Honestly, I suppose I think that He probably should because I fail Him so often.

I know that salvation is not about being perfect. I know without a doubt that salvation is all about God's amazing grace and forgiveness. I know that because I have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I will spend my eternity in Heaven with Him. I have no doubts. What I do have is a lack of the ability to grasp the reality of grace. God's word tells me that His grace is enough and my heart believes Him. But my head tells me that I am a total failure at being a follower of Christ. I am such a mess. 

Tonight in bible study, I was talking and got so lost in what I was saying that I completely forgot my point. If you have ever been around me or read this blog, you know that happens to me pretty much every time I open my mouth. Completely annoying to those around me, I know everyone wishes I would keep my mouth closed. It's completely frustrating to me because I feel as though I have so much to say to others. Christ has carried me through so many struggles and brought me through many difficult situations in my life. I want so much to be able to use my testimony to reach out to others who may be hurting or searching for answers. I want to offer them the hope that I found. I want to point them to Jesus.

Mr. Wonderful and I were at a youth leader conference a few years ago. I loved the illustration that one of the speakers used. He said that he was "just the arrow." His job was to point to the Light. When teenagers came to his class or asked for his help, he just pointed them to Christ. He was really funny, too, because he kept saying, "Don't look at me...I'm just the arrow!" Guess you had to be there....What I'm trying to say is that I want to be an arrow for people. "Hi. My name is Holley. Allow me to introduce you to my friend, Jesus." Oh, how I wish I could do that. I feel like that is exactly what Joyce Meyer does every time I listen to her or read one of her books. She just helps me to find Jesus. When I find Him, I find all the answers I am searching for. I watch her and think of how great it would be to have the spiritual gift of evangelism. To stand in front of people and simply direct them to Christ. How wonderful to be so great with words. How wonderful to speak and get your point across to others with such ease. How wonderful to open your mouth and NOT forget your purpose for speaking.

Back to being a failure and mess, I know that none of that matters to God. I believe that Jesus lived a perfect life without sin and then died on the cross in my place. I believe that He rose from the dead three days later.  I have asked Jesus to come into my heart and have asked for forgiveness. Because of that all of my sins are covered. When God looks at me He doesn't see them. He has forgiven me. I know that His grace is sufficient. 

The problem is that I just want to be better for Him. I want my life to be an offering for Him. I want to be the daughter, sister, wife, mother, and friend that He needs me to be. I want to live a life that directs everyone I come into contact with to Him. I realize that I don't have to be an evangelist to do that...but at least having the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation would be helpful. Oh, by the way, it still hasn't rained and the thunder and lightening stopped.

I know that this is changing directions, but I am doing it on purpose this time!! Back in July I blogged the post "Skinny-Fat? Yuck!" about Mr. Wonderful's health issues and said that we were starting to work out and diet and that I would keep you updated. Well, I never updated and that is because we never did it. We exercised several times, but were just lazy and stopped. Unfortunately, we still eat like a bunch of college frat guys and never even tried to diet. He hasn't lost any weight and is actually feeling worse. I don't think the weight has anything to do with it though. He was feeling better for several weeks and we thought things were finally getting back to normal. Not anymore. There is something going on in his body that the doctors haven't found yet. I know it. I can feel it. I look at him and I can see it. I talk to him and I can hear it. I pray for him and I can sense it. There is more going on than just low blood platelets. I'm not sure if they are connected or not. He is tired almost to the point of being lethargic at times. He is distant. He has headaches. He has pain in his arms and legs that never seems to go away. He is weak. He has bags under his eyes. He just isn't himself. He is frustrated beyond words. He is fighting it and trying to live a normal life, but I know that it just gets harder on him every day.

We have both done lots of research and are searching for anything that matches his symptoms. Please, don't be alarmed! We don't think it is anything horrible going on. We just know that he is miserable and we have to find out what it is so that it can be corrected. We are praying every day for answers. We are doing the best we can with our current situation. Until now we have been telling people that he is getting better. I'm actually not sure how he will feel about this post. (Don't worry, I'll ask him before I publish it. I always let him read them first because I love him and trust him and respect his opinion.) We haven't been telling people he was worse because we don't want anyone to worry. I am coming clean about it now because we have made an appointment with a specialist but it isn't until December. I feel that it is necessary to ask for everyone to pray for wisdom and guidance for this doctor. I am confident that God has a plan and that He will take care of us.

Again, please do not be alarmed by this prayer request. Mr. Wonderful is fine. We have absolutely no major concerns for his health. We are just ready for the appointment so that we can get him feeling better as quick as possible. Please remember him and the specialist in your prayers. Thank you and love and prayers for you all!

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

I know that it has been quite a while since I have posted. Lately life has taken us in a different direction than we expected. It isn't a bad direction. It is just one that keeps me preoccupied with other things. I feel as though my whole world has been turned upside down. My house is cluttered. I never cook. I spend countless hours in front of the computer. I don't get much sleep. I am completely consumed with this new direction.

I had been feeling that this direction was going to be the answer to a prayer. A prayer that I have been praying for a long time. A private and unspoken prayer. A prayer that I'm positive was in my heart, but that my mind was having trouble admitting. A genuine request for God to give me direction about a specific thing. I thought that after all these years I had found my answer.

I have been throwing myself completely into this new direction over the past several weeks. I even talked about it to a couple of people. I made plans. I took steps. I did research. I made more plans. I made phone calls. I got excited. I did more research and took more steps. Today I made one more phone call. It was a devestating phone call. All my planning came to a screaching halt.

I now have no idea what to do. I've always heard things like "when one door closes another opens" or "when one door closes, look for the window." 

Well, that sounds great in theory, but what if all the door closing means that God wants me to stay away? What if it means He doesn't want me to go anywhere right now? What if I go through another door and it turns out to be against His will? How do I know the difference?
Why do I have this desire and this plan and feel so strongly about it? Why was I so sure that this "dream" came from Him?
All afternoon I have been longing for days when things were simple. I've been watching my little girls and seeing their sweet innocence. I feel like a child right now. I need someone to tell me what to do. I wish my fairy godmother would come and make everything turn out perfect with a wave of her wand and a "bibbity, bobbity, boo." Ooh, or maybe I could make a wish or two from a genie in a bottle. But then again, that is just in Walt Disney's world, and I'm certainly no princess. What do those of us in the real world do?
If a dream is a wish your heart makes....and you are doing your best to keep Christ at the center of your heart....
Would it be wrong to stop now and not keep trying? Would that mean that I did not have enough faith that God would take care of me? Because I do know that He will be there. I know that He will provide. I know that He will be there to catch me if I fall. But it isn't really the "fall" that I am worried about. It is the "failing" that bothers me most. Especially if the failing means that I wasn't supposed to do it in the first place.
I once heard someone say that you should not doubt in the light what God has shown you in the night. How can I be certain that God is the one who has shown this to me? Is it wrong for me to keep going back and forth on this?
I wish right and wrong were as clear to me as an adult as they were as a child.
Perhaps Peter Pan was right when He said, "all it takes is faith and trust..." Of course, our faith and trust should be in Christ, but maybe the "pixie dust" just means our own hard work and determination.
Time to hit my praying knees and run through this plan with Him again. I know that God will speak to my heart and give me the peace that I am searching for. I am just not so great at the waiting.

Have I ever told you that God works in such incredible ways? Because if I haven't before, I will now....God works in incredible ways!! I just finished my post and was proofreading and something incredible happened. I felt God speak to my heart.
It seems so simple now. I can't even believe that I didn't see it before. I believe that God may have allowed this to happen just to force me to stop and see how it was affecting my life. I mean, I said myself that my whole world was upside down. God can't trust me with this until I truly trust Him with it. There's no reason to have a cluttered house or lose sleep. I know that I still have to work hard, but I also have to be able to manage my life and all the other things in it. If I can't do that, then why would He add to it?
Wow, I feel like such an idiot about my rant now! I am tempted to delete this, but won't just to prove that though sometimes God may seem far away, He never really is. It is us being too preoccupied to listen to Him. Sometimes all it takes is shutting our (my) mouth long enough for Him to give an answer.
Time to put my priorities back in order and trust God's timing. After all, He does see the big picture.

Love and prayers for you all!

Reversible A-line & Ruffle Bloomers

My latest project was this reversible A-line dress in a size 3-6 months.

It is so tiny!

And has tiny white flowers with brown dots!

The coordinating ruffle bloomers are even smaller.

They are a size 0-3 months.

Believe it or not, I made them different sizes on purpose.

I am trying to come up with samples of each piece in each size.

Aren't those ruffles just so sweet?!

Too bad I didn't learn to sew when my girls were babies.

They would have had a closet full of these outfits!

I'm sure you are thinking that they could just have a closet full of these now.

True. But if they did it would be a waste.

Addie is 3 now and has her own opinion of what is cute to wear.

She almost never chooses anything that matches,

and she changes clothes about three times a day.

I see no reason to argue with her about clothes.

There are too many other things that I must say no to.

Clothes just doesn't need to be one of them.

So, I'll be easy to recognize if you run into me in the store...

I'll be the one with the child wearing mismatched pjs and plastic dress-up shoes!

Women's Self-Appreciation Day

I've been pretty busy lately and haven't had time to do much of anything other than work on my business plan. But I was catching up on some blog surfing tonight, and came across this one and loved it so much that I had to blog about it. Katy over at No Big Dill had the brilliant idea to celebrate "National Women's Self-Appreciation Day." Okay, so I admit, and so does she, that it doesn't really exist...but Katy and I, along with many others believe that it should.

As women we spend so much of our lives caring for and loving those around us, that we tend to neglect appreciating ourselves. So, today we celebrate us. Take a few minutes and think about what you like about yourself. What are your talents and gifts? What do you do well? What do you feel are your greatest qualities?

I know. It sounds ridiculous. To say I am good at something would mean I am being boastful, right? Actually, I think it is the opposite...if you do it with the right heart. (I am a firm believer that it is the intention behind the actions/words that counts!!) I believe that as children of God, He has blessed each of us with special qualities that He intends for us to use for His glory. How can we use them for His glory if we aren't willing to recognize them?

Now, thinking about it with a humble but honest heart, give God thanks for your greatest qualities. Katy listed three. 1) she makes great quesedillas 2) she has excellent posture 3) she likes color. 

It took me quite a while to come up with something. Partly because I didn't want anyone to read it and think, that doesn't describe her at all! I can't believe she thinks she is good at that!! and partly because I was busy wishing I had good posture. But then I remembered that I am in control of my posture and that I am the one answering the question(I intentionally didn't ask what you all think of me) So, here goes, in no particular order, other than the first...it is the best and most important.

* I love that Jesus Christ saved me from my sins almost 11 years ago, and that through it all, He still owns my heart today. I love that even though I resisted for many years, I finally fell to my knees and humbly handed my life over to Him. I love any part of  me that allows Him to show through my everyday life.

* I love that I am such a compassionate person. I care very deeply for others and genuinely wish for them to do and be well. I almost always think of others first, and want to help them in any way.

* I love that I am not at all afraid to act goofy in front of people. I am not a clown or anything because I know when to be serious. I just love to laugh and have fun.  There are so many things in life that must be taken seriously, that I try to do the opposite with myself! Life is way too short to stress the small stuff. I am the crazy person skipping through the grocery store parking lot with my girls; reading books to them with dramatic interpretations; making silly faces, singing silly songs, and doing silly dances just to make them laugh :) Their laughter is pure bliss, innocence, wonderfully infectious, feels alive, sounds precious, and gives energy to me and I love that I think that. Don't even get me started on their smile!!

* I love that I have learned to sew and am actually getting pretty good at it. I also love that God has given me the courage to step out and use this talent as a sourse of income for my family.

* I love that God has been helping me become a more positive and less judgmental person. I try to find the good in every person and every situation. Always remembering that you never know what another person's life is like and you never know what they are going through makes this one pretty simple. I love that I am so aware of God's grace and goodness, that it is impossible to not treat others well.

* I love that I love being a mother so much. I love that I love every detail about it, even the difficult stuff, because that is all a part of it. I love that I love everyone else's children and babies so much. I love that when I look at a child, I see a part of the innocence that God intended us to have. I am always shocked when I see other people who don't feel the same appreciation for them, and I love that about myself.

* I love that I have learned to "put my big girl panties on" and do what has to be done, even when I don't want to, it is too difficult, I don't feel like it, or I don't think that I should have to.

* I love that I am not full of pride. I love that giving a heart-felt apology has never really been difficult for me. I love that when I have done something that wasn't exactly right, I get a knot in the pit of my stomach that refuses to go away until I correct things.

* I love that I consider my husband and my mother to be my closest friends. I love that I value their opinions on everything from clothing choices to major life decisions. I love that I have never, ever spent time with them and then wished that I hadn't.

* I love that even though I may not have traveled the path God intended for my life, I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a thing. I love where the path has finally led me. I love that I know that God has a plan and a purpose, and He been able to use my struggles to shape me into the person I am today. And I love that the person I am today is NOT the same person that I was yesterday and WON'T be the same tomorrow as today!

Okay, so now it is your turn. Leave a comment listing your favorite qualities on this blog or on this fb link. Don't hold back!! Even if you don't want to post, at least think about it for a while.

Love and prayers for you all!!



   

"Walk on Water"

I heard this song for the first time today.

I listened to it 3 times back to back.

Then I listened to it some more.

I felt as if it were God speaking directly to me.

Over the past several months,

I have been feeling as if God has been revealing His plans for me.

Me and my insecure self have been spending time with some old "frenemys"

also known as self-doubt, fear of failure, fear of rejection, along with others.

I've shared with you before that I've never really known

what I wanted to be "when I grow up"

But, finally, in this last year of my twenties,

that is all starting to change.

I am so very excited (and completely terrified)

to announce that I am beginning to sell

children's clothing

Made by HER!

Several different job opportunities have been presented to me over the years,

and Mr. Wonderful and I have spent much time praying over them.

We have always come to the same conclusion.

That conclusion is that God has provided us with the opportunity for me to stay home with the girls and that is where He wants me to be.

Mr. Wonderful and I now feel that God has a wonderful plan for us and our future involving the children's clothing.

This has been such a difficult decision for me.

As much as I want it and feel that it is God's plan,

I have been frozen with fear.

Mr. Wonderful...I just can't say enough about him.

He supports me in so many ways. And this opportunity is no different.

He has been nudging me towards this for quite a while,

because that is what he does.

He takes my fears and he tells me that they are not justified.

He has confidence in me when I have none in myself.

I am so blessed to have him in my life.

Every day I am more sure that it was God's plan for us to be together.

And every day I pray that we live our lives the way God intended when He put us together.

Okay, now that I have gone all gushy and mushy over Mr. Wonderful,

let's get back to the real story here...

I am now taking orders!!

I have been working hard doing research, and now it is time to just work hard.

I hope to have much more information soon.

I still have a lot to figure out, but I just felt that it was time to let everyone know.

Now that you know, I'm sure you also know that I have a serious request from all readers...

prayer!!!!

Please keep me in your prayers over the decisions to be made and how to handle things.

Please remember Mr. Wonderful and the girls as they live with the extra chaos.

And, of course, please pray for the success of everything involved in this plan.

Please pray that I keep my eyes on Christ as I step out on faith and "walk on water"

Hope to see lots of children wearing clothing Made by Her very soon!!!

Love and prayers for you all!

Ruffle Pants

I had originally made these ruffle pants with Addie in mind.

Once I finished them and she tried them on,

they were too short and the stride came down to her knees.

She was sweet about it though, and didn't want to hurt my feelings,

so she said that they were "itchy" so she'd have an excuse to take them off!!

Little sis, Avie, obviously didn't think they were itchy.

They fit her perfectly and she loved them!

As soon as she put them on she started twirling and dancing.

It was absolutely adorable.

She couldn't stop looking at the ruffles

long enough for me to get a good picture of her in them!

More twirling!

I get so excited when I make something the girls really like.

I think it is so sweet to hear them tell Mr. Wonderful that

"Mommy made it for me!"

It is hard to tell in the pictures,

but the fabric is orange with black stripes.

The ruffles are solid black,

and the black & orange peeks out from under them.

They look perfect paired with the solid black t-shirt I found on sale.

It will eventually be apliqued with an orange circle and black letters

when I finally decide what I want it to say.

I think "Boo" would be super cute,

but if I just use an "A" it would last longer instead of just through Halloween.

Ruffle Bloomers & Top

This outfit was left unfinished because I didn't do a great job with my stitching.

My seams turned out wobbly on the bloomers,

and don't even get me started on the top.

Let's just say that I put many hours in with a seam ripper on it.

I had hoped to pair this outfit with the bubble romper for a gift,

but the quality is just not worthy.

It was, instead, given to "Bear" because, as everyone knows,

a bear can never have too many clothes!

I must say that Bear is the best model I've worked with in a while.

She sat perfectly still!!

The top was a bit big for her, but after Addie's instructions, she is wearing it now.

Those ruffles on the bloomers are just too cute.

I will be trying them again soon.

Bubble Romper & Booties

On Sunday I finally got the "encouragement" I needed to finish that newborn bubble romper  that I started forever ago.

Yup, someone asked about it.

It's been so extra chaotic around here that I had honestly forgotten about it.

When I dug it out and figured out where to start,

I finished it in less than an hour. Sad, huh.

The sweet little one it was intended for has probably outgrown it by now!

And all because I was intimidated by fusible interfacing.

Anyone know what that is?

Stuff that comes in sheets that you cut out and iron onto your fabric for strength.

Yup. Weeks upon weeks have gone by,

And that project was left unfinished because I was too intimidated...

to iron.

 

 

After finishing up so quickly, I still had some nap time left for crafting.

So I grabbed the baby booties pattern I've been holding onto and gave them a try.

The pattern said they were a 0-3 month, but they were huge...and round.

What newborn baby has a round foot?

In all honesty, they looked just like the booties of a certain brand

that come with the complete outfit.

You know, hat, booties, onesie, & gown.

I had to toss every pair of those I got. What was the point of giving them away?

I worked on them for a while trying to figure out how to make them better

and this is what I came up with.

The one on the left is a little wonky, but I think I figured it out for the right one.

Hopefully, I will remember what I did and be able to adjust the pattern.

These are just too sweet when paired with the bubble!

Add a coordinating bib and it's an awesome little gift set!

(I'll work on better booties and the coordinating bib tonight)

 

 

 

 

Candy Corn Dress

First of all, I must admit that Halloween certainly is not my favorite day. So why blog about it? Well, I had decided that I wanted Avie to dress up as candy corn.

(The girls aren't really old enough to ask to dress up as anything so I just try to choose something for them that matches their personality. I really dislike the scary costumes and decorations, but I think that allowing kids to dress as a super hero or a princess is great. My girls both have a great imagination, especially Addie. They are always role playing or dressing up at home, so having a special day to encourage creativity is fine with me.)

Now, back to the candy corn.

I know it is early, but I want to make the girls' costumes this year,

and we all know how I am about getting projects finished,

so I decided to get an early start.

I went shopping and found the perfect fabric,

came home, and started sewing.

This is the first dress I made. Turns out that the candy corn fabric I used as my guide in making it was wrong. Too bad I didn't realize that until I was almost finished. Grrr.

My second try went much better. I worked really hard at my top-stitching, too, and I must say that it looks pretty awesome. 
Now that it is finished, I have changed my mind about it being her costume.
I think it is just an adorable dress for fall! I can't wait to take the girls to the pumpkin patch and have their pictures made!! 
Oh, & I have lots of yellow and orange fabric left over if anyone is interested in a candy corn dress! Just leave me a comment.