Gals My Age

Okay, so it's been a while since my last post which makes this very late, but I want to thank everyone for the sweet comments about my MaMa and especially for the prayers. It was a very difficult time for my family, but we pulled together and made it through. We spent several days at the Incredibles' house. We ate lots of food prepared by great friends, went through old pictures, shared memories, watched the kids run through the house, and laughed a lot. It was a special time for us all. I know that everyone always says this, but that is exactly what MaMa would have wanted. She always wanted her sons and the grandchildren to stick together. She used to tell me all the time to take good care of my sisters. I'm sure she probably said the same thing to them. She thought family was so important and so special and I do, too. 

My mom and I chose to close the shop for the days surrounding that weekend. When we returned on Tuesday to open, we stayed as busy as possible. It was nice to have a distraction. The following weekend was Addie's dance recital. I had been anxious about the recital for months. It made my stomach turn to think about it. No, I'm not completely crazy.....I was nervous about it because I knew Addie was nervous. As soon as Mrs. Heather started talking about dancing on "the big stage" Addie stopped wanting to go to the dance class she loved. She wouldn't dance at home and was adamant that she would NOT dance for everyone to watch. Mrs. Heather was so great at trying to prepare her for it and was even more patient than I could have hoped. She was the best. Addie had two dances. One song was "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and the other was "He's got the whole world in His hands." At rehearsal, Addie refused to dance to "Twinkle." She stood on the stage with her finger in her mouth and refused to move. As soon as she was off stage I went to the back to talk to her.

First, let me explain. It wouldn't bother me one single bit if she never stepped onto the stage. The recital means nothing to me. I wanted her to take dance because I knew she would love it, not so that she could put on a cute outfit and show off in front of everyone. I was nervous about it, though, because I knew she would be upset if she didn't do it. She is just like me in that way. She doesn't want to be in front of people and feels self-consious, but would regret it if she missed out. I spent my entire life worrying about what people would think, and I missed out on so much because of it. I don't want her to do that. I knew if she didn't dance that night, she would change her mind later and want to do it and it would be too late. So I really wanted to help make her comfortable with it.

When I went to the back, I asked her if she wanted to come watch the other girls dance for a while. Of course, she did. She loved it. She sat as still as possible, just taking it all in. When it was her turn again, she went right out there and did it! I was so proud of her! I cried, no, sobbed, the entire time!! I just knew what a big deal it was for her to be up there at all. It just came pouring out of me and I looked like an idiot, but I didn't care. The night of the recital, she did the same thing. Refused to dance to the first slow song, but then bounced around and danced her heart out for the second, more upbeat song. She was so proud of herself and I was even more proud! We went to the "chips & cheese" place to eat Mexican with the family afterwards and had a great time. The next day we went to a wedding for a sweet friend that we have known our whole lives. I served the groom's cake at the reception and had so much fun. We got to spend time with people we haven't seen in a while and catch up. It turned out to be a great weekend.

The following Monday was Addie's dance class party. I let Mr. Wonderful take her so that I could cook for the family. We took food over to his grandparents' house and spent time with them. The next day I had to go to the doctor for a check-up. I didn't really think anything about going, just wanted to get it over with. When the doctor came in, he informed me that "gals my age" tend to have problems with different things and that it was time to have some blood work done. Really?! "Gals my age?" Doesn't seem like a big deal, I know...unless you consider the fact that this was the day before my 30th birthday!!! So after getting my cholesterol, thyroid, hormone levels, and vitamin D checked, I headed home. I must admit that even though my birthday hadn't bothered me before, I was a bit bothered about the "gals my age" comment.

I woke up the next morning extremely early and went to the bathroom. I opened the blinds only to see "Happy 30th Birthday, Holley" signs in my yard and black balloons tied to my mailbox. Hooray. Mr. Wonderful left for work and I finally got myself and the girls ready. As I was gathering my purse and keys, I sent the girls to the door to wait. Addie came running back to me and said, "Mommy, somebody drawed all over your car!" My response? "No, they didn't." "Yes, they did!" She shouted. Wow. Thanks for the warning, Mr. Wonderful. My oldest sister, Amazing, had not only painted my car and put signs on my lawn, but she had put several signs in the neighborhood that I grabbed up and stuffed in my trunk on the way to work. I was running late and didn't get to drive the car through the car wash. I got to work to find that my mom had put balloons and signs all over the shop. Later that day, my middle sister, Awesome, had flowers delivered with the dreaded black balloons tied to them. And to think, I wasn't upset about turning 30. It hadn't really phased me at all. Who knew it was such a big deal?! I am very thankful that my sweet family chose to make such a big deal out of my birthday. But honestly, I really, really would have been okay with just a phone call :) 

Yesterday after I closed the shop, I ran out to do a little shopping for myself and Mr. Wonderful. We are always getting things for the girls and our closets are looking pretty rough, so I figured it was time for us to have a turn. After searching through 5 different stores, my question is this: Where does a 30 year old mother of two (on a budget) shop for work worthy clothing? Especially a mother who does not want to dress like a teenager or a grandmother. It seems like everything I looked at was made for stick people. Nothing for people with hips or.....do I dare say, thighs?! Eeeek!! I would have to starve myself for months to fit into those clothes. They are all made so awkward. The legs are too tight and the waist is too big. The shirts are all either cut way too low, are too short, or the sleeves are too short. What is wrong with the clothing industry? Don't they know that super tight pants and a too short shirt aren't even attractive on the mannequins? I suppose this makes my birthday even that much more of a big deal. I'm too old to be fashionable. I just don't get it. Didn't we all learn from the 80's and early 90's? Why must we repeat those terrible fashion mistakes? I settled for the only solid colored shirts I could find and the one pair of shorts without holes...they were actually long enough that they didn't look like underware. Mr. Wonderful, well he didn't even get that much because it was even harder (if that is possible) to find anything for him. Almost every t-shirt I picked up either had someone's face or a cartoon character on it. And the jeans? They are even more ill-fitting than the women's. Ugh, I used to think shopping was so much fun. I suppose that was before I had...........these dreaded thighs! Eeeeek!

We are headed to the lake this afternoon. My mother, Mrs. Incredible, is once again proving why I call her incredible.....she is working for me Saturday so I can go. I am so ready for this break. We took a quick trip there last weekend, but will get to stay a bit longer this time. The whole family will be there with us, also. I can't wait. The weather is supposed to be perfect. The girls love it there and so do Mr. Wonderful and I. If I were to ever move away from my family, it would be to move to the water! I love it! The warm sun, the cool water, the breeze...........I'd better stop before I get too relaxed.....I still have to run home and finish packing!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe weekend!
Love and prayers for you all!!      

big ole messy mess

As I sit here tonight staring at the computer, I am not really certain whether a blog post is appropriate or not. But yet, I am still here. I guess it's because writing has always helped me collect my thoughts. Whenever I feel lost or have something weighing heavily, it somehow brings me comfort. I do feel lost right now and comfort would be a wonderful thing. My thoughts are all over the place and it would be nice if they would just settle down.

I'm not sure if I ever explained how Mr. Wonderful and I came up with our girls' names or not, or where our shop name, LizzieLu & BabySue came from. I've had so many people ask since the shop opened, so even if I've told you before, I think it's time to do it again.

Our first pregnancy ended at 12 weeks in miscarriage. We never found out if we were having a boy or girl, but we talk about that pregnancy and our baby often. My mother gave me a book about healing after losing a child, and after reading it several times, I finally worked up the courage to ask Mr. Wonderful if we could name the baby that we lost. We decided to make it official, and use the name "Baby Roberts." Thus, the "Baby" in LizzieLu & BabySue.

Next came Anna Sue. Oh, how excited we were when we found out we were having a girl. I just knew she had to be named after my mother, Sue. Thus, the "Sue" in the shop's name. Mr. Wonderful's mother's middle name is Ann.  Anna Sue was stillborn at around 8 months. Although they don't understand, Addie and Avie are very familiar with their sister's name. They actually use it pretty often. When playing, they will go to "Anna Sue's house" or call Anna Sue on the phone, or will talk about Happy's friend, Anna Sue. Addie still calls the shop LizzieLu & "AnnaSue." Every time I hear their sweet little voices say their big sister's name, it brings me so much joy. They may not understand now, but one day they will know how special Anna Sue is.

When Addie came along, I wrote down several names that I liked. I couldn't really narrow it down too much, so I picked up the dreaded baby name book. I looked up Mr. Wonderful's name, Adam, and there it was. The perfect name for our sweet girl. Addison. It means, "child of Adam." Perfect. My middle name is Elizabeth and it just seemed appropriate for her to be named after her mommy and her daddy, so Addison Elizabeth she is. Thus, the "Lizzie" in the shop's name.

Addie was only 7 months old when I found out I was expecting Avie. And I was scared. I wasn't upset because they were so close (I was actually excited about that part) what I was worried about was how in the world would I be able to take care of a newborn and a 15 month old at the same time!! I was worried that I would have to put them in daycare if I couldn't do it by myself, and I really wanted to stay home with them. As always, my worry was pushed away and the situation was placed in God's hands. Have I ever told you before how much greater His plan is than mine? He provided exactly what we needed, exactly when we needed it. At our wedding, instead of having a sign in book, we had a picture frame with an over sized mat and let everyone sign it. A friend of my mom's had brought her daughter to the wedding and she signed her name in the most adorable child's handwriting (which is fairly large). This frame has been in our dining room since we moved in, and so we had been looking at the name, Avery, for quite a while and had grown to love it. We went through several names with Avie before deciding that there was no other name that should even be in the running except for my MaMa Hobbs'. Lucille. My grandmother made the decision on her own to move into the nursing home when I was expecting Avie. Addie and I would go and visit with her. She was so excited when she found out we were naming our baby girl, Avery Lucille, after her. Thus, the "Lu" in the shop's name.

On our way home from the hospital with AvieLu, I made Mr. Wonderful stop by to see my MaMa first. I knew she wouldn't be able to make it to the hospital to see her namesake, so I had to come to her. I called ahead and asked them to bring her to the front of the building (because I wasn't sure I could walk all the way down the hall to her room). We met outside on the front porch. There is just something so special about the older generation holding an infant. It may seem silly, but I think of it as them "blessing" the baby. That picture will be forever in my mind of her holding my new baby girl. Avie's hair even had a red tint to it the first few months, and my MaMa was a red-head! It was meant to be. Avie even has my MaMa's mouth. Which means she has very thin lips, totally opposite from me. Avie loves to put on "wipstick" which is really just strawberry flavored Chapstick. I think of MaMa every time I see her do it. She presses those thin little lips together and intently paints all around them. When she finishes, it looks like she's been drinking red KoodAid!

Most people didn't know my MaMa as Lucille, though. My grandfather always called her "Cille" and so did many others in the family. I think the people who worked with her at Avondale called her Frances. To everyone else, she was just MaMa. She was really something. My AvieLu reminds me so much of her. My mom and dad think so, too. MaMa was so much fun to be around. I don't think it was possible to have a conversation with her and not laugh until you cried. She was hilarious. She would say the very first thing that came to her mind, and nothing could stop her. Mom says she used to hold her breath when MaMa was with my oldest sister when she was a toddler. She says my sister would repeat everything and you just never knew what MaMa would say!

 My MaMa has always had such a huge place in my life. I would spend the night with her as often as my mom would let me. When we were much younger, she would sleep upstairs with my sisters and me. She was always worried about us navigating the stairs at night, so she put a "pee pot" in the room in case we woke up and had to use the restroom. I'll never admit whether or not I used that pot...so don't even ask! Years later, when I was older, I would sleep in the bed with her downstairs when I stayed, because my grandfather slept in a hospital bed. She would sleep at the very edge of the bed and would reach her arm behind her to keep a hand on me. She always slept like that, on the edge. I would try to talk her into moving over a little because I was worried she would fall, but she always seemed to work her way back to the edge. She was always such a light sleeper, too. If I ever made any move she would ask, as if she had been wide awake, "you alright?" 

I have so many awesome memories of being with her. Going on trips, and of staying up late, and of watching tv game shows, and so much more. I remember driving to Dothan one year and looking over to see a clown driving the car next to us. My MaMa took a picture of him and was waving and acting so silly. There was also the trip to New Orleans when my middle sister and I decided to swim in the hotel pool. My MaMa tried to tell us not to, and boy was she right! The strangest thing happened to our hair, probably too much chemical....she never did let me forget about that happening!! Then there was the spray she used to carry in her purse...I know my cousin, Desi, remembers that one, but I'll keep the details between those of us that already know :) There was also the night that my sisters and I were up late playing cards with MaMa and we were being so loud laughing, that she decided to close the door so we wouldn't wake my grandfather. Good idea, right? Not when she went to check on him later and the door had locked! She pulled the door handle right off the door!! My sister ended up climbing into a window only to find my grandfather sleeping peacefully, totally oblivious to our chaos. And that is only a tiny bit of the craziness and fun I experienced with her. Whenever my mom and I are together and do something silly, we always make the comment, "alright, now, MaMa!" And that is because that is all we can think of is her. She could make the most dull things just come to life. 

My girls are only allowed to watch cartoons from NickJr, and only certain ones. They always have breaks on that network between shows and say, "now it's time to move with the music." One of the songs they play by Laurie Berkner says,
"I'm a mess. I'm a mess. I'm a big ole messy mess.
From the north to the south and the east to the west
what I am is a really, really, really big mess!"

I always sing this song to AvieLu because it totally describes her personality. I don't think I'll ever have to worry about AvieLu. She can hold her own. I may need to worry about the person who crosses her, though. My prayers go out to the one who is brave enough! When she sets her mind to something, not much can stop her. I am tempted to use the word "stubborn" but I guess it is really just that she knows what she wants, how & when she wants it, and she won't let anything get in her way. But at the same time, she is so much fun to be around. She just walks in the room and you know the fun arrived. I can't tell you how many times people who have never been around her stop me and say, "I bet that one is a handful!" I have no idea what it is that Avie does to make them come to that conclusion. I just smile and say, "she sure is!" 

The "I'm a mess" song perfectly describes my MaMa's personality, also. She was always such a mess....and I loved it!! I'm so blessed that my AvieLu has her MaMa Hobbs' personality. They are both one in a million. They just have that spark about them. I love that I can look at Lu and see so much of the MaMa that I adore in her.

I usually end my blog posts by saying, "love and prayers for you all." This time I still send my love for you all and my appreciation for you reading about my chaotic life. But this time I am going to request prayers for my family from all of you. Please just remember us and pray for comfort. Thank you.

A Perfect Fit, Part 2

I know that my last few posts have ended abruptly, but I am just blogging at the shop when I have a few free minutes. So when someone comes in, the post ends! No more staying up til 3 am for me....nope. I try to go to bed before 11 pm now. And truthfully, that isn't even early enough! I should be in bed before 9...Mr. Wonderful and I have always wondered how people can get in bed so early every night. How do they get everything done? Well, at this point, I don't care if I get it all done or not as long as I get some sleep!! I know that if my awesome neighbor/friend happens to read this, she will laugh out loud. She will probably even come by the shop just to say, "I told you so!"

At this point I should probably inform you that I used to make fun of said neighbor/friend for having her lights out before 9 pm every night. We would just be leaving for the grocery store at 10 pm and their house would be completely dark! I probably even called them "old" a time or two. So any mockery I get from her, I fully deserve :o) 

But back to the shop and why this post is called "a perfect fit, part 2." The nanny. She is a perfect fit for us. As nervous and worried about leaving my girls as I was, Nanny has calmed all those fears. She was obviously meant to be, because she actually came up in a frantic, last minute whining session with my mother, Mrs. Incredible, about not having anyone to keep the girls until school was out. As I was crying about it, I just asked out of desperation, "Don't you know of anyone?!" Well, she actually did. The next day we hired Nanny. 

We had first thought they would be able to start preschool early. That didn't work out because there wasn't enough room. Both girls will be in preschool in the fall and I really didn't want to start them at one daycare and then take them out to go somewhere else. Addie just wouldn't like that. She needs something stable. Nanny is that stability she needs. She is young and energetic, but also laid back. She is great with them. She takes them places and plans activities for them. They love her and so do I. Not only do they have fun with her, but I know that they are safe with her. This means everything in the world to me. Although she is young, she is responsible and dependable. I know she isn't perfect, because nobody is. But she is definitely perfect for us. I used to babysit quite a bit when I was younger. I also worked at a daycare for a while. Watching Nanny with the girls reminds me of how I was with the kids I kept. She doesn't look at them as if she is annoyed with them (even if she is...and it wouldn't surprise me if she was, because sometimes even I am!) she just looks at them with patience and love...even if she has to grit her teeth to do it!!  

This is where God's divine intervention comes into play again...I was seconds from calling the daycare and sending the girls. I may have been stressed and worried about what to do with them, but He had it taken care of all along. I would have never had the peace about being separated from my girls if they were in daycare. I am in no way implying anything against daycare!!! I worked at one and loved it and still love it. The people who work there are incredibly gifted at what they do and they do an incredible job.
If I am implying anything, it would be that my little girls are spoiled! They have been home with me their whole life. They have structure, but are not used to a schedule. We have always had a daily routine, but if something came up we could tweak it as we wished. If they slept late, we ate late and napped late. No big deal. If they were in a bad mood, they could just sit alone and pout until they felt better. It would not be fair to the workers or other children or my girls if I had thrown them straight into a strict schedule. With Nanny, they have the opportunity to get used to having someone else as the authority figure other than me. They have the opportunity to use the Summer to get used to waking up earlier and having to leave the house....which is a major adjustment for me also!! I have the hardest time finding something to wear each day. My wardrobe for the past 6 years has consisted of maternity clothes, sweat pants, and t-shirts. I am in desperate need of a shopping trip, but then again, I really don't even know what to buy because I have only shopped for the girls for so long. Boo-hoo, I know! But I think having Nanny will help prepare the girls for preschool.

I don't know why I always get so worked up and worried over things. God has a plan and it is so much greater than mine. He sees the big picture. He is just sitting back waiting on me to stop whining and just turn everything over to Him. And when it comes to my girls, there is no place better than safe in His arms.

Love and prayers for you all!







   

a perfect fit

I feel the need to tell you that I absolutely LOVE my job!!!!!! Dont' get me wrong, I LOVED my job staying home with my girls, too. I'm actually pretty sure that one prepared me for the other.

It isn't really about which one was better. I guess it is just that the timing for each was perfect. I suppose I am just amazed by God's amazing plan and His divine intervention. When I first started planning to open the shop, I wasn't even sure that I was ready for it. I knew it was time for me to leave home and go to work...I just didn't feel great about leaving my girls. I was sure that they would be fine...it was me who was the problem! I didn't think I would make it without them there with me every day!!

It has turned out to be a perfect fit, though. I love being here and having some quiet time to work and keep busy. I love getting to come home to the girls and not take one second of my time with them for granted. I love having the opportunity to talk with people when they come in the shop. I love getting to know them and hearing their stories. I especially love it when they bring their little ones with them. LizzieLu & BabySue immediately transforms from "children's boutique" to "children's playroom" when a child comes through the door.

I remember when Addie was a toddler and I was expecting Avie. It was so difficult to go shopping because not many children's boutiques are "stroller friendly." There just isn't an easy way to get inside with them, plus once you get inside with them there isn't room to push them between the clothing racks. That meant that I had to carry Addie, and her oversized diaper bag, and my purse, and keys, all with my AvieLu baby bump. I started dropping my wallet down into Addie's diaper bag, along with my keys and cell phone...thinking it would make things easier. And it did...until time to pay and I had to dig for my wallet while holding her. Of course, she took advantage of this opportunity and would let go of me and try to slide down my hip and get to the floor, pulling off my elastic band maternity pants, then she would make a mad dash for the most breakable -and expensive- thing in the store while I looked like an idiot trying to chase her down. When I finally gathered her up and got the bill paid, I would just drop my debit card back into the diaper bag to get out of there, because she would be screaming and fighting to get back down once she had tasted the freedom of running.

It only happened twice before I finally learned my lesson....on two separate occasions I went to the grocery store after leaving a boutique only to get to the check-out and realize that I brought my purse inside the store-not the diaper bag. And where was the diaper bag? In the car. Why? Because it took up too much space in the shopping cart. Why is this such a problem? Because although I had thought to grab my wallet out of the diaper bag, my debit card was still in there!!! "Live and learn" is a phrase used often. You would think that I lived and learned to put my debit card back in my wallet, but nope. Not me. What did I learn? Well, I learned that a "children's shop" that isn't "child friendly" just doesn't make sense!!! Therefore, if any child of any age walks into LizzieLu & BabySue, we encourage the parent to let them get down and play. Anyone willing to hand over an infant? We will dab on some hand sanitizer and gladly accept them also!

 My mom and I have had the pleasure of entertaining so many children while their mothers, grandmothers and even a few fathers shopped. I am aware that not all parents/guardians appreciate this. Some people don't want you to even look at their children much less talk to them, and while I don't understand this, I totally respect it. I have absolutely no question about what my spiritual gift is...loving others. Loving them where they are, how they are. Loving them and their children. Not just loving them "in Christian love" and moving on. I love them up close and personal. Loving them and their situation. I love them and can't help but get involved. If I see someone struggle, even with something simple, I feel a strong need to help them, whether they want me to or not!

Not long ago Mr. Wonderful and I were in a book store shopping. There was a woman in line ahead of us at the checkout with three children. She had several items and the cashier was being a bit slow. One of the children was a toddler in a stroller who was beginning to fuss and try to climb out. The cashier kept asking the woman questions, and the woman couldn't hear her because she was trying to poke the toddler back in the stroller and he was fussing and crying. Without thinking, I just stepped up to the side of the stroller and said hello to the handsome little guy. He looked at me like I was nuts and then looked at his mom to see what her reaction to me would be. I just squatted next to him and talked to him about the toy tied to his stroller, his shoes, etc. Once I had his attention, he sat quietly and smiled at me, probably still thinking I was nuts. His mom was able to answer the questions and get out the door without a full meltdown from him. I'm not really sure what she thought about it, or if she even noticed, but if it had been me and someone had bothered to entertain my child instead of talking bad about me and giving me dirty looks, I would have thanked God for putting them in my path and probably kissed them on my way out of the store!! Please read this carefully: I didn't expect or even want her to say thank you to me. I just wanted to help. I just did what I would have wanted someone to do for me. I just loved her and wanted to make those few minutes easier on her. If that makes me weird, then so be it :o)

I am loving my life and the changes that have taken place over the past several months! Love and prayers for you all!