Train a child

As I was getting ready to go to my church's annual ladies ornament swap this week, Addie was following me around the house. She was questioning me about every move I made. "Is that the shirt you are going to wear?" "You doing your hair like that, Mommy?" "Who is going to be there?" "Is Micah's mommy going to be there?" "Is Brooks' mommy going to be there?" "What other friends are going to be there?" This questioning continued until my mother arrived and distracted her by starting to cook spaghetti for supper.

I was chatting with Addie's Sunday School teacher when I arrived and was telling her about the questioning I had gone through. She laughed because that is so typical of Addie to be so inquisitive. And then she said that Addie was just being "motherly" and wanted to make sure I was going somewhere that she approved and that I would be safe. 

I ended up staying a bit too late because I was having such a great time that I just didn't want to leave. When I got home, Addie met me at the door, "did you have fun with your friends?" I sure did. I walked into the kitchen where the pile of dishes I had left in the sink were gone. Warm spaghetti was on the stove. Both girls had been bathed and were in pjs. My mom was sitting on the couch reading to Avie, and my dad & Adam were in an intense debate over football. I sat down and told my mother every detail of the night. She listened as if it were the most interesting thing she had ever heard. After my parents, the Incredibles, had left, I sat on the couch for a long time, consumed with just being grateful for them. I began to think about Addie again and how sweet it was that she wanted to know everything that I was going to do. It reminded me of when I was younger and my mother's line of questioning before I left the house. I wish that I had thought of it as sweet back then.

When I was growing up, I felt like my parents were more strict than anyone else's, and they probably were. I remember so many times that I wasn't allowed to do things that everyone else did. Simple little things like wandering around with friends at a football game...I had to stay put. Or going to a dance at the rec center by myself...I went once and my dad had to stay the whole time. Or getting dropped off at the movies...Or spending the night with friends who my parents didn't know their parents. If I went to a baseball game, I wasn't allowed to walk over to the park next to it with all my friends, I had to stay inside the ball park. I wasn't allowed to go out both nights of the weekend, and I wasn't allowed to go out several weekends in a row. I wasn't allowed to talk on the phone for too long, and I certainly wasn't allowed to call boys on the phone. Whew, even now it sounds a little excessive. But I am so thankful for it. I certainly didn't appreciate it then, but now I intend to raise my girls the same way.

I have the greatest memories of my parents growing up. My dad has always been such a hard worker. He went through school and worked at the same time when we were little and worked two jobs after that. He was gone a good bit, but he made up for it when he was home. I remember him letting us put every single hair bow we owned in his hair, and that was a lot because there were three of us. I remember him playing and wrestling with us in the floor even after he had worked all day and was probably exhausted. I'm pretty sure dad is the one who taught me to Indian leg wrestle and I bet I can still beat anyone at it. Riding in the truck with him I got to hear a lot of great music, most of which are still my favorites and still remind me of him. And after a long day of shopping with my mom, my dad would sit and watch me model everything that I got, even though he didn't care one bit about clothes and probably didn't approve of most of them. I can remember sitting in his shop with him while he filled shotgun shells and that sometimes he would let me help. I remember him teaching me to ride my bike. I never was great at it because I am the least coordinated person in the world, but I can still hear him telling me to look out ahead of me instead of looking down. Without fail, my dad would be cleaning his guns whenever a boy came to the house. Most importantly, I remember waking up every Sunday morning to find him sitting at the table studying his bible.

Although my mom stayed home with us when we were young, she was a hard worker also. She always kept the house so clean and everything had a place. I remember when she went to work that she made us a chore chart of things that had to be done before she got home. Our chores even rotated each day so we all did equal amount of work. More than keeping the house clean, I think that was her way of keeping us from eating junk in front of the tv for the entire hour and a half before she got home. Because dad worked away from home so much, I remember my mom always being the one who cut the grass. After she cut the grass, we would have to go rake and clean it up. She went to my grandmothers probably every week and cleaned. And after my grandfather got sick, she went more often than that, cooking, cleaning, and helping take care of him. She has always been such a great caregiver. I got very sick with mono when I was in the 7th grade. (And, no, I hadn't kissed anyone...how unfair is that? Get sick with the "kissing disease" and have never even been kissed?!) I was extremely sick with it. I don't know exactly how much school I missed, but it seemed like months. I couldn't eat and lost a lot of weight. I ran a fever all the time and was very weak. I don't think my mother ever left my side. I remember her picking me up, a 7th grader, and carrying me down the hall to sit me in a cool bath when my fever was too high. She was just as great when I was in 10th grade and my sister and I were involved in a car accident. I was a little traumatized by the whole experience, I wasn't saved yet and it scared me to death, and I treated my mother horribly. But she stayed right there with me and even came to school with me my first day back to carry my books. She spent countless hours helping me catch up on all the work I missed while I was out. She was always great at that though. Every evening after school when I was little, I would sit at the kitchen table and do my homework while mom cooked supper. In the 9th grade, I was given the opportunity to go to New York City with a small group from school. I was a little nervous to have my mom go with me, but didn't really want to go without her either. I had the greatest time being there and experiencing that with her. We did all the tourist stuff, a lot of which I don't remember because we were all over the place. But I do remember getting to see the twin towers and I have a beautiful picture of them that I took. I'm not sure what it was, but I began to see her in a different way on that trip. I remember that there was a girl there who kept being rude to my mom, and my mom never said anything to her. At one point I got so fed up with it and felt so protective of mom that I finally stood up to the girl, who was twice my size, and I told her that she was not allowed to speak to my mother for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, the girl didn't pound me into the ground and just backed off.  

I can look at my life now and see so many similarities between the things my parents did and the things Mr Wonderful and I do. We think it is important to shelter the girls from the world...they will have to deal with it soon enough. When I blog, I refer to my parents as "the Incredibles" and that is exactly what I think of them. Mr. Wonderful and I respect their opinion so much and ask for it often. They are the most thoughtful and generous people I know. I have never called my mother for anything when she didn't come running. And often, I don't have the opportunity to ask her for anything because she is already offering. My dad is the same way. If I just mention something that needs to be done, he immediately makes plans to handle it. Watching him spend time with my little girls thrills my soul. I love to see them together. Oh, and the girls think my mother hung the moon. They squeal with delight at the slightest mention of either Gran or Papa.

I know that I am 29 years old and I need to grow up. I shouldn't be so dependent on my parents when I have children of my own. But I can't imagine my life without them in it. I call my mother almost every day just to chat. She is still my mother, but she is also my closest friend. With her I can confide anything. She keeps me grounded. She tells me when I'm out of line. She listens to me vent. She doesn't take it personal when I'm in a bad mood. She cries with me when things aren't going well. She is genuinely happy for me when I am happy. She holds me accountable. She understands me in a way that no one else ever has.

I am thankful for my sheltered childhood and for the incredible influence of my parents. Proverbs 22:6 says that if you train a child up in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it. I may have strayed pretty far from the way my parents taught for a while, but I am happy to say that I am older now and have no intentions of departing.     

These are the days of our lives

These are the days of our lives....

Ever watch soap operas? I watched Days of Our Lives some in high school. But I'm not sure why I watched. It got on my nerves really bad that there was always so much drama. The people on there always talked constantly about their problems, were always negative, and always lived in the past. Ugh. Completely annoying.

Well, lately I feel as though my life would make a pretty good soap opera. On top of our normal chaos, we've had a bit of drama. I've been waaayyy over dramatic about my shop, LizzieLu & BabySue. It is due to open around the first of March, and I have been on a roller coaster of emotions about it since I made the decision. I have questioned and doubted about every aspect of it.

I've come close to a nervous breakdown because of the financial stuff. I suppose they are trying to be helpful, but people always question me about the economy when they find out about the shop. Really? Do they think that I am not aware of what is going on in the world? Do they think I haven't considered it? Well, I have. I have been over and over and over it all. I always come up with the same thing. I feel confident that God gave me this desire and that it is His plan for me. I believe that no matter what happens with the shop, He will be glorified. 

I've fought with guilt over leaving the girls. I have never wanted to do anything but stay home with my sweet daughters. I want myself and Mr. Wonderful to be the major influence in their lives. And I know that who they spend the most time with will have the most impact on them. I want them to be home with me so that I can protect them from the world as long as possible. I don't want to have to ask someone else how their day went. I want to already know. I want to be there for them and be able to talk to them about things that happen throughout the day. At the same time, I know that they need the structure of preschool & daycare. They need to be around other people and children. Addie would benefit greatly from preschool, because she gets so nervous when she is presented with new situations or the unknown. I think it would help to expose her to other things and help her to be more outgoing and confident. Avie would benefit greatly from daycare, because she is so self-absorbed. She does whatever she wants, whenever she wants and doesn't care what anyone thinks or says or how it affects them. I have a very difficult time trying to discipline her. She doesn't seem to respond to anything. She is almost always getting into something and completely disregards the rules. I think it would help to get her away from me and put her in a group setting where everyone around her is following the same rules.

I have also struggled with the timing of the store opening because of Mr. Wonderful's health problems. He just isn't getting any better. He started a new IV treatment three weeks ago for his ITP (low platelets) and we found out this week that it isn't working. We go Monday to make a decision about what to do next. His ulcerative colitis is also acting up. He is on a new medicine for it, so we are praying that it will start working soon. The timing is also scary because Mr. Wonderful's job ends after this December. The company decided that they will move the project he has been working on to Texas where the home office is. We are praying that he will be given the opportunity to move into a new position in the Birmingham office. He has been told that this is likely to happen, but there are no guarantees. We are nervous, but trusting that God has a plan. He has never failed us and we know He will not now.

Knowing that I will be working outside the home 6 days a week after the shop opens, I feel like there is so much pressure on me to get the house in order. I feel it is necessary to clean out all the closets, cabinets, drawers, and have everything organized perfectly. I have been home for several years now. I can't even imagine what it will be like to get up every day, leave the house early in the morning, and not get home until late evening. When will I get all of my "house stuff" done? I know that it is possible because people do it all the time. I'm just not sure how it will work for me. It won't be long before I have to figure it out though! There are so many things that need to be done at the shop. Until now, most of the preparations have been over the phone and internet so I have been able to work from home. Not anymore. I plan on letting the girls come with me as long as possible. The first thing I will need to do at the shop is get a place for them to play. I'll gather some toys, games, movies and stuff from home. I have a tv I can take, but will need a fridge and probably a microwave. My sister has a table and chairs she is letting me have, but I may need to get a small couch so they have a comfy place to nap.

After the girls have their stuff in place, I will move all my sewing stuff to the shop. It has completely taken over my laundry and dining rooms. It just can't stay here. Plus, it will be nice to be able to leave a project out and not have to put it up every night. Maybe it will make me more productive!

Then comes the real LizzieLu work. Window displays, mannequins, inventory. So exciting and yet so exhausting. Hmmm, I think I'll get back in the bed for a while until the girls get up!

Love and prayers for you all!

It all started on Friday

I'm not sure why I am still up after such a busy weekend, but here I am. I'll try to keep my recap brief, but no promises.

It all started on Friday when the girls and I went shopping. They were supposed to be cowgirls for Halloween and I really wanted them to have cute boots!! I realize that I waited until the last minute but life has been so crazy the opportunity to shop just wasn't there. I had looked online and found the exact ones I wanted at Target so that was our destination.

First, I filled cups with juice and checked the bag for diapers and wipes, located my purse, phone and keys, and placed them on the table. Next, I got the girls dressed put shoes and socks on them, tried on two different pairs of jeans before I found one that actually fit me, threw on a t-shirt, grabbed blankets, papi, Happy, baby and woof woof and headed for the door. I called for the girls to come and they when they appeared, Addie had an armful of toys that she was trying to convince me to allow her to take with us and Avie had already taken off both shoes and was screaming because she couldn't get her socks off. I instructed the girls to stay put while I went outside and put my load of stuff in the car. Before I got down the steps, Addie had opened the door which allowed Avie to follow me down the steps. I ordered Addie to close the door. She started to throw a tantrum insisting that she wanted to come outside. I ordered her to close the door again. She continued in her tantrum about coming outside and added that she wanted her juice cup into her tantrum. I threw the stuff in the front seat, chased Avie across the back yard, and headed back up the steps. I sat Avie down and took Addie to her time-out spot to calm down. By the time I turned around, Avie had gotten my purse off the table, dumped it's contents onto the floor, and was searching for "nummy" also known as chewing gum. I grabbed her and my keys and walked out the door. This sent Addie back into a panic because she didn't get to go outside. I buckled Avie into her seat, cranked up the car, grabbed Addie off the bottom step, buckled her into her seat, and did the forbidden...I went back inside and left them in the car. I just stood there and looked at my house. It was trashed. Toys were everywhere. There was a wet diaper laying in the dining room floor. There were dirty dishes in the sink. There was clutter all over the counter. The bathroom had dirty clothes and wet towels on the floor. The beds weren't made.

I picked up my phone, purse and its contents, grabbed the diaper bag and cups, said a quick prayer for sanity and walked out the door leaving the mess behind. My mother would be so ashamed.

I ran through "Old McDondald's" as Addie calls it and got chicken strips and fries. I despise eating in the car about as much as I despise eating McDonald's food, but there are many times that it just doesn't make sense to go inside and sit down...especially with two toddlers who haven't had, but need a nap! After being fed the girls calmed down. I admit that they get it from me. I am such a grouch when I haven't eaten. We got to Target and went straight to the shoes. They were very picked over and didn't have many sizes to choose from. I wasn't sure what size Addie needed so I just picked up the one that looked close and started to put it on her. She cried and begged for the red sparkle shoes instead. I handed her a pair to put on her left foot while I tried a boot on her right. The boot was too big so I tried another. And another. Ugh! What kind of mother doesn't know what size shoe her own child wears?! Apparently, THIS mother!! I finally narrowed it down to a size 8. They didn't have any. I began to search for another style and Avie started getting restless in the shopping cart. Addie handed her some red sparkle shoes and she started to scream and cry because she couldn't get her shoes off. I was busy searching for any size 8 I could find and had tuned her out until I realized that there was a young woman giving me a very unapproving stare. I tuned her out also and continued to search. Others began to stare so I stopped to take Avie's shoes off. Then she cried because the red sparkle ones were too big and wouldn't stay on her foot. Addie was trying to talk me into letting her have some Dora house shoes (identical to the ones she has at home) and kept getting louder and louder. She had to be sure I heard her over Avie's screaming.

I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer, and squatted down to be eye level with Addie. I asked her if she was using her inside voice. She said she wanted Dora shoes. I asked, "what does your inside voice sound like?" She replied, "Inside voice....quiet. I want Dora shoes." I told her good job on her inside voice and to keep using it and reminded her that she has Dora shoes at home and she can put them on as soon as we get home. I stood and made eye contact with Avie. I swatted her thigh a bit (she was still squawking and I needed to get her attention) she stopped screaming and pouted. I told her that if she needed help with her shoes she needed to ask like a sweet girl and use her inside voice. She said, "pweeeez!" Finally, my little gremlins turned back into my sweet little girls. We found a pair of size 8 boots and just as I was going to try them on Addie, she decided she had to go potty...really bad. Off to the potty we went. We pottied, washed hands, talked to the sweet woman in there with us, thanked her for helping us with paper towels, and went back to the shoes. They fit. We bought them. We left the store. We got in the car. We headed to search for another Target store. What?! Yup. Those weren't the specific boots I wanted to I decided to go to another Target to see if they had the correct size in the ones I really wanted.

I had never been to this other Target and wasn't exactly sure where it was, but I went straight to it. The girls were great on the way. Avie was wearing her Auburn shirt and a man stopped us in the parking lot to ask her if she knew who Cam Newton was. I answered for her that, of course, we did. As he walked away, I told the girls to tell say War Eagle and to my surprise they both shouted (Avie a bit louder than Addie), "War Eagle, Hey!!" We went over to the shoes and found the exact boots I wanted for both girls. We put them on, put their shoes in the box, bought the right boots and returned the others. The girls were so sweet the entire time and stomped in their boots all the way to the car. As I loaded them up to go home, I thanked the girls for being so good and then I said another prayer. I thanked God for the incredible blessing of being their mother. I thanked Him for the good times and the bad. I thanked Him for helping me through every step of my day. Even through the things that seem trivial, He was right there with me. He was giving me the help and patience and guidance that I was asking for at just the moment I needed it.

On Saturday, Mr. Wonderful and the band he plays with, went to play at a fall festival for a church a couple of hours away from us. The girls and I stayed home because I wasn't sure what to expect at this event and I thought it would be difficult for the girls to be gone all day. I planned on working on the girls costumes and car decorations for our church's Trunk of Treats event the next night. We slept in and I played with the girls for a while then started on some laundry. I called to check on my mom and she reminded me that my in-laws' Trunk of Treats event was that afternoon...yikes! I said a quick prayer and scrambled around getting their costumes made as quickly as possible. I fed the girls lunch, put them to bed for a nap, and ran to put finishing touches on their costumes. As I was about to jump in the shower, my mom called and offered to come help get the girls ready. Sounds great to me! The girls took turns getting up from nap. Avie took her pants and diaper off and I had to change her and lay her back down. Addie heard Avie get up and decided she had to go potty. I was searching for pants that fit before I got in the shower and realized that the house still looked exactly as it did before I left to go to Target the day before. Oh, no!!! My mom could not see my house like that! I said a quick prayer and then made a mad dash through the house collecting dirty laundry and tossed it in a basket. I made another run through the house and picked up toys this time. On the next run I picked up the shreds of paper the girls had been "cooking" with earlier. I gathered all the dishes scattered on the counter and piled them into the sink (the dishwasher was full...of clean dishes that I didn't have time to put up). I jumped in and out of the shower, threw on clothes, and got Addie out of the bed. She never went to sleep and neither did Avie. My parents, the Incredibles, arrived and took over dressing the girls for me. They helped take some pictures, loaded the girls in the car for me, and we headed to the in-laws church. The girls ate way too much candy and we all had a great time seeing everyone. It got cold quicker than I expected so we left and went to get something to eat. We went in and sat this time at Arby's. The girls were sweet and ate fairly well. We left and Avie fell asleep before we made it a mile down the road. I took the girls inside and put pjs on them, started a load of laundry, and put the girls back into the car. We went to pick up Mr. Wonderful after he got back into town from the fall festival. We watched him unload and had fun running wild all over the empty church building. We got home super late and went straight to bed.

On Sunday, Mr. Wonderful got the girls up, fed them breakfast, and got them ready for church. I stayed in bed a bit too long and we ended up being late for Sunday School. The girls really wanted to hear Mr. Wonderful play the drums, so I let them sit out front in service with me for the very first time. Addie was excellent. She was so sweet sitting there watching. I think Avie did well considering her age. She occupied herself by dumping out the diaper bag. She found some Smarties in it and dropped them in the floor, but was still very good in my opinion. I took them to their class after the music was over and ended up staying to help out. After church, we went to my in-laws church for lunch. Left there and ran home to grab clothes to change into and headed back to our church. We helped get things ready for our trunk of treats event and as we parked our car in line to hand out candy, I realized that I didn't get the decorations together for it. Our car was the only one that wasn't decorated. Oh, well. We had candy, so I suppose that was good enough. The girls had a great time playing and eating candy. Addie even helped Mr. Wonderful give some out. I supervised the inflatables for a while. But after having to climb inside the bouncy several times to retrieve children who didn't want to come when their parents said to get out, I decided that wasn't really the job for me. I think I'll sign up for something else (anything else) next year. After helping clean up a few things, we headed home with two super tired little girls. Avie fell asleep before we got out of the parking lot. We came in, fed the girls a quick and extra late supper, and went to bed.

The girls and I slept late this morning and then got up to an odd-smelling house. Yup. Those dishes were still piled up in the sink. I give my mother full permission to now disown me. I wouldn't blame her at all. There were clothes, wet towels, and toys all over the floor. I sat with the girls and fed them breakfast then started unloading the dishwasher to load it again. I walked through the house several times to gather things and put them where they belong. I washed, dried and folded laundry. And then I realized it was Monday...Addie's dance day!! I looked at the clock and we didn't have long. I found Addie's dance uniform in a pile in the laundry room where it had been sitting last Monday. I dug through the dress-up box and found a similar outfit and put it on her. She cried because it wasn't like the ones her friends were going to wear. I found another similar outfit, put it on her and she was satisfied. I changed myself and Avie out of our pjs. I grabbed the diaper bag, purse, phone, keys, Happy, blankets, baby, woof woof, papi, and headed for the door. I threw it all in the front seat, buckled girls in, ran back in to fill cups, and we went to dance. We left dance, ran through the Arby's drive-thru and went to visit with Mr. Wonderful's grandmother for a while. When my mother-in-law got in from work we went to eat at "Old McDondald's" again. This time we went in and sat down. The girls weren't really hungry so I just go them a milkshake. They both went straight over to the play thing and climbed inside. About two seconds later Avie was screaming from the top of it because her legs were too short to climb up the next step. Into the cramped little tube I went. Round and round the steps I climbed. The smell got worse and worse the further up I got. I made it to the top where Avie was stuck, gave her a boost and turned to climb back down the steps. Several kids were coming from that direction so I ended up having to go down the slide just to get out. I have always been grossed out by those plastic playgrounds, but being inside one was worse than I thought. By the time I made it down the slide and back to my seat, Avie was stuck and screaming in the same spot as before. Being the wonderful mother that I am, I instructed Addie to climb up there and give her a boost. The girls loved it though. They ran and screamed and played and had the greatest time. They were both red-faced and sweaty when I put them in the car to go home. I took them straight inside the house and dunked them in the tub. Mr. Wonderful got home just in time to help dry their hair, put on pjs, and tuck them into bed. Thank you, God, for my wonderful husband who works so hard to provide for us. Thank you, God, for my amazing children and the time I get to spend with them. Thank you, God, for our extended family and the fun we have when we are with them. Thank you, God, for giving Your Son to die for us so that we can be forgiven and spend eternity with You. Please help me to live my life for you even in the chaos of every day.

Okay, so this was not anywhere close to brief. I realize that. But then again, you knew it wouldn't be!! As I was sitting here typing this tonight, I noticed that my house still smells a little odd. Then I remembered that I forgot to turn on the dishwasher. Nice. Maybe I should just throw those dishes away!!

I am hoping that tomorrow and the rest of the week will not be as crazy. I desperately need to clean out the car. It just plain nasty. It would also be really nice to have the opportunity to turn on my oven for something other than frozen pizza! No wonder none of my pants fit...an issue we will worry about some other time.

Love and prayer for you all!