Being around a child who is not disciplined is an extremely miserable thing. Can I get an "Amen, Sister!" on that? How about a "Preach on!" or maybe just a "Tell me about it!"
Actually, before I get too far into this blog post, I should let you know that I am referring to my own children.
Shame on you for trying to figure out who's children I had been around lately!!
Don't deny it...you know you were!!
In case I haven't told you before, I'll tell you now: I am super busy right now! I have been for several weeks. The busy-ness is a wonderful blessing because I am opening a children's boutique in a few weeks. I am thrilled about having my own shop. I am even more thrilled that my mom, Mrs. Incredible, is helping me with it. If you follow this blog, you already know that I can't do anything without my mom!!
(Of course, I am nervous about the economy and how well it will do, but that discussion is for another day.
Today, the discussion is not just about children who misbehave, but about children who misbehave and then "refuse" the discipline and consequences that follow the poor behavior.)
Because of how much work is required to get the shop ready to open, I haven't been able to spend as much time with my girls. When I have been home with them, I am either on the phone or on the computer. I've been shopping for things constantly.....sometimes dragging them from place to place with me and sometimes leaving them behind with either Mr. Wonderful or a sister or friend. I haven't been home much at all because when I'm not shopping, I have been at the shop painting, sorting, painting, preparing, painting, decorating,
painting, sanding, painting, oh, and did I mention that I've been painting?! Ugh.
Normally, I have no issues with painting and still don't. My issue is with the amount of painting to be done. And more than that, my issue is with the smell of paint. I've been battling the same migraine for almost a week now. I'm not sure why the smell is so strong. We are only painting fixtures. The walls were freshly painted before we moved in and it already smelled terrible in there. When I get in the car to leave, I can smell the paint on my clothes and in my hair. Ick. Any ideas on how to get it to go away are welcomed!! We've been leaving the front and back doors open as much as possible. I don't want to cover it up. I want it to go away.
Through the being gone and being busy and migraine and being distracted in general, my parenting skills have suffered. In fact, I'm pretty sure they are non-existent right now.
I'm not in denial. I can think of many reasons I am having discipline issues with the girls.
(I love Supernanny and wish she would come keep my girls over the summer while I work. You know, just until preschool starts!)
Their routine has been completely disrupted.
Their mother has gone from being a "constant" to being a "here and there".
They usually miss nap.
They eat at odd times.
They don't get in bed on time.
They are around several different people they aren't used to.
They are at the shop a lot and get bored.
I don't have time/opportunity to disciple the way I have for the past 3 3/4 years.
They have been with others grandparents/aunts/friends who don't discipline them they way I would and always have.
And many other reasons that I am aware of, but are out of my control at the moment.
I'm not completely crazy. I know why it is happening. I'm just not sure how to stop it. Tonight I felt as though I was on the verge of a total nervous breakdown. Literally.
Addie has developed a smart mouth and has started to talk back. She has such a bad attitude sometimes, that I can't even imagine where it came from or how to react to it. Avie says "no" to everything you say, no matter what you say. Even if she does what you tell her, she still says "no" first. Grr. That is so aggravating.
Tonight was completely embarrassing for me. Mr. Wonderful and I were at the shop working with my parents, the Incredibles. The girls did not listen to a word I said the entire time. If I said one thing, they would do the opposite. It was as if I were on "mute" and they couldn't even hear me at all. I finally just packed them up and took them home.
They are in bed now, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel so guilty. Discipline and structure is so important in a child's life. I have been praying all day that when the shop opens, and they get a normal routine back that things will get better. But I'd really like for things to be better now!
I know I'm making it sound like they are horrible, but they really aren't. They are still the sweetest children possible. They have just been disrespectful lately. I will not tolerate disrespect! It is biblical that we MUST discipline our children and I always have. I also feel that their personalities show it. I know that children will be children and I try to let them have as many freedoms as possible. But I draw the line on freedom when it puts either them or someone else in danger or is destructive or when it results in disrespect.
The Bible tells us in Hebrews 12:5-11 that the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son. It also reminds us that no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. But later on, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Discipline is and always has been God's idea. He does it, not because He is mean and doesn't love us or want us to have fun. He does it because He does love us and wants what is best for us..after all, He is doing it for our own good. Therefore, if I as a follower of Christ try to model my life after His, that includes discipline for my children.
Proverbs 13:24 says, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" NIV emphasis mine
"A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them." Msg
Proverbs 19:18 says, "Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death." NIV
"Discipline your children while you still have the chance; indulging them destroys them." Msg
Proverbs 22: 15 says. "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him" NIV
"Young people are prone to foolishness and fads; the cure comes through tough-minded discipline." Msg
Proverbs 23:13-14 says, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." NIV
"Don't be afraid to correct you young ones; a spanking won't kill them. A good spanking, in fact, might save them from something worse than death." Msg
Proverbs 29:17 says, " Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul." NIV
"Discipline your children; you'll be glad you did-they'll turn out delightful to live with." Msg
I am listing all of this scripture as a reminder to myself that letting the girls have their own way, is not a good thing. They are children and God placed them in my hands for a purpose. That purpose, I believe, is to help them grow into the person He intended for them to be. I do not in any way enjoy telling my children "no". I wish I could say "yes" to everything. But the fact is that they would not respect me for it. Love without respect is not love at all. I want my children to genuinely love me as I love them. Therefore I must discipline them.
Proverbs 22:6 Has been posted on Addie's bedroom door since she was born as a reminder for me. It says, "Train a child in the way she should go, and when she is old she will not turn from it." Therefore, I believe that is telling me that, even if she doesn't understand it now, if I teach her and Avie to live a Godly life now, then they will follow Him when the time is right.
Hope you all enjoyed my "sermon to myself" that I will be using as motivation to find the time and if it just isn't there I will have to make it, to help my girls be the person they were meant to be. Which, by the way, is not smart-mouthed, out of control, and disrespectful!
Love and prayers for you all!
