All of God's grace in her little face

Easter Pillowcase Shirt

I found this fabric and decided to make myself a shirt to match the girls' Easter dresses.

I made the dresses and my shirt,

but I decided to let them wear something different on Easter.

I don't have pictures of the dresses yet, because I couldn't chase down my models,

but I asked Mr. Wonderful to snap one of my shirt.

I loved this shirt and it was so very simple.

I was also introduced to bias tape when making it,

and am pleased to announce that I am in love :0)

Once I had the shirt on, I realized that the pattern did not allow for the fact that the trim does not have as much "flow" as the top of the shirt,

which created an odd "puff" in the middle.

I'm pretty sure that it can be corrected next time by adjusting the seam allowance.

The "puff" wasn't quite as noticable after I washed it

(this picture was taken before)

I wore it anyway, though.

After all, the clothes I buy from the store don't fit correctly either!

Aggie Flip Flops

I made Addie some flip flops to match a dress I made for her, and she loved them.

They are now her favorite shoes and she wears them with everything.

I have a picture of them somewhere, but didn't feel like searching for it.

I made this pair for my niece.

She plays softball for the Aggies and their colors are red and black.

I think they turned out pretty cute.

Dress & Ruffle Pants

I made these dresses from the same pattern that I used for my very first dress. I modified it a little to have the contrasting trim at the bottom....not so easy to do.

It took some work, but I think I figured it out.

I LOVE these pants.

They are also from a modified pattern. I had some trouble with the length, though.

I think I know how to make them fit better next time.

I had planned to let the girls wear the dresses as a top for the pants,

but I loved the fabric so much that I decided to do a separate swing top instead so they'll have two outfits from it.

I haven't started working on the swing tops yet...I am planning on making them using one they already have. I'm not sure how it will go without a pattern.

I guess we'll have to wait and see!

By the way, anyone have ideas on how to keep your models from escaping?!

God made you special

Where in the world have I been? Outside, of course! Playing with my little girls and doing yard work with Mr. Wonderful. I've just been enjoying life and standing in complete awe of how incredibly amazing God is. I know people say it all the time, but I am so blessed. God has been so good to me and my family. I think Spring is  probably my favorite time of year. I love seeing the flowers bloom and the butterflies floating around. It is a wonderful reminder that God makes all things new. In Him, I have a new beginning. My old self is gone--Praise the Lord!! I am forgiven for my past and I have hope for my future. As difficult as it is for me to comprehend, His grace is enough for me.

When I think about God's amazing grace, it floods my soul with a desire to be exactly what He wants me to be. It makes me determined to NOT be the person I've always been. The older I get, the more aware I become of the mistakes I've made in my past. I have no intention of dwelling on them, I've spent plenty of time doing that already...one of those mistakes. My awareness of those mistakes has brought me to the conclusion that I have lived most of my life in fear. Fear of making mistakes, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of being embarrassed.....I've always been a "whatever you want" kind of girl. I never decide what to do or where to go eat or what movie to watch with friends because, what if they don't like it? I'm not really crazy, I just like for everyone to be happy and would rather compromise myself to please others.

Besides, I'm pretty much satisfied with anything. I now know that, even though that is true, I don't really know what I like in the first place! I've spent so much time allowing others to dictate what I did, where I went, and what I ate, I think I lost myself a little.

I have been working on changing that over the last 9 years that Mr. Wonderful and I have been together. It has been a slow process, but I feel like I have been making some real progress, especially over the past few months. I've discovered some new things that I really enjoy doing. Things that I never would have considered before, probably because I don't know anyone else who does it.

I now know that I love sewing. I am still learning, but it is my favorite thing to do with my free time. I have even allowed the girls to wear clothes that I made them out in public! Shopping used to be my only hobby, (which isn't a hobby at all, by the way) and I do still enjoy shopping. I just do it differently now. I look around, find something I like, and think, I can make that!

I started to learn to crochet last year, but it turned out that I was really slow at it. I was intimidated by it and stopped. I hope that I will find time to start back again though. Even when I was doing the wrong stitches, I found it to be incredibly relaxing. 

I have also been reminded by Mr. Wonderful, that I absolutely love to write. When I blog, I write and read and write and read. Putting my thoughts down has really been a lot of fun and has helped work through some issues I didn't even know I had. Then I publish it for the entire world to see! Well, maybe not, but they do have access to it....does that count? When I was in the 7th grade a friend and I wrote a "novel." Don't ask why...I was a kid, okay? It was just about our other friends and the more exciting life we wished we lived. Don't ask if it was any good...probably not. Hopefully that friend burned it a long time ago! I also took a creative writing class in high school that I secretly loved. I even won $50 in a local essay contest that our teacher made us enter. I considered studying English and Language Arts in college. I didn't get the scholarship that I applied for, so I just left that one hanging. Kinda makes me wonder...

When I was younger I hated being outside. I didn't like the way you smelled when you came back inside, most sports are outside and I'm the least athletic person in the world, and I really didn't like sweating......things directly related to what others would think (why would I care if I'm sweaty and "smell like outside" and I didn't like sports because people watch sports and they would see how terrible I am). I love being outside now. Mostly because I have learned to let go and just enjoy the moment.

Having my girls has helped me a lot because I am thinking so much about them that I completely forget to be self-conscious. It is a great feeling to not worry about unnecessary things. Mr. Wonderful has also helped in so many ways. He is so great at encouraging me. He seems to always have confidence in me and I love that. I know that I can trust him to be honest with me, even when the trust may sting a little. And that really means a lot. Anyone can just lie to you and tell you you're great all the time. It takes someone who genuinely cares about you to gently let you know when you are not so great. Mr. Wonderful does that for me.

My 29th birthday is coming up in a few weeks. The last of my twenties. I admit that I am a little sad because I just can't believe how time has flown by and I feel like a lot of it was wasted. But I am mostly excited because I love life more every day. It gets better with every breath and if it is this great now, I am so ready for my next 29 years! Whoever said that your teenage years or high school days were the best years of your life......oh, I feel so sorry for that person. A teenager only thinks those years are so important because they are unable to look beyond them. But then, if you are a teenager you probably don't believe that. Ironic, huh?

I am loving my new hobbies and feel as though, at 29, I am finally figuring out who I am. I am praying that my journey to a life without fear will continue to bring me to a place where I am truly comfortable with who I am becoming: the woman God intended me to be. I don't want my girls to ever live in fear of what others think. I want them to respect others and their feelings like I did and still do, but not lose themselves in trying to please them the way I did.

I want my girls to appreciate the fact that God made us all different because He has a different plan for all of us. I want my life to reflect to them what I believe...that God doesn't make a mistake and He made me and you!! So, as our friends Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber said in their awesome book, God Made You Special, "Remember that God made you special--Please do! I just wouldn't say it if it weren't true!" God bless you all on your journey to becoming who God wants you to be!

cruel and unusual punishment!!

I am absolutely loving the weather we've been having the past few weeks! It has been so beautiful. I have been able to take the girls outside almost every day. Not only does it make the day go by faster, but the girls eat and sleep better after playing outside. Being outside is great all the way around. (Unless you count the fact that Avie insists on trying to go to the opposite side of the yard from me and Addie, and I spend most of my time chasing her.)

I don't even mind that it rained today. I'm actually glad that it did. I told Addie that it was God's way of cleaning up after spreading all the pollen around. I knew it was supposed to rain today, so while the girls played yesterday afternoon, I used Mr. Wonderful's backpack blower. It is awesome! I am now convinced that a rake is cruel and unusual punishment!! Oh, how I wish I had been brave enough to use it before.

While running almost two tanks of gas out of the blower, all I could think about was when I was younger and my parents made me rake leaves. Now that I am a parent I understand why my dad handed my sisters and I a rake instead of a leaf blower. After all that work you are too tired to argue with each other! I see lots of leaf raking in my girls' future!!

Just kidding. Actually, I was thinking that I probably hated the yard work then, but I'm so glad they made me do it. I love being outside now. I really enjoy working with Adam in the yard, especially since he loves it so much. It's amazing how growing up makes you appreciate the things your parents did when you were younger and how having children of your own makes you understand the things they did. Yeah, I got a little deep with that one....but it is so completely true for me.

When Adam & I moved our house onto this lot, our favorite thing about it was that there was a thick row of trees between us and our neighbors. Then we were expecting Addie, and I started thinking about my sweet little girl playing in the yard so close to all of that mess. I say mess because it wasn't just trees. In fact, most of the trees were almost dead from being choked out by some very stubborn and huge vines. The thick row of trees was no longer my favorite thing, and "we" decided that the trees must go. Don't worry, we will plant new, healthy ones in their place :0) 

It's been over three years since we started our "thick row of trees" removal project and we still have lots to do. It would have been so simple to pay someone to come in with a tractor and clean it all up in a week or two. But honestly, I'm having fun working on it with Mr. Wonderful and watching our hard work pay off. We try to work on it a little every day. We are both suckers for a great DIY project and I think this one is our favorite so far! I know it will have the biggest payoff..........in a few more years!  Until then, I will keep hogging the leaf blower and hand him the rake instead :0)  

Follow up to "An Outsider?"

I have had several people in the last few weeks tell me that they have been reading my blog. I am in total shock. And for some reason, I am a little embarrassed. When I started this, I never imagined that anyone would really read it. I just thought it would be a good idea to talk about what was going on in my life. Just my everyday stuff.

As a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), I don't really have anyone to talk to throughout the day (Unless you count the cashier & greeter at Wal Mart) other than my girls. And believe me, the three of us talk a lot, about all sorts of things.....how yummy Addie's play doh cake tastes, how Jesus wants us to be sweet to each other and share, how we will get a time-out if we are not nice, what is for lunch, when daddy will be home, what we should and should not put in the potty, and over and over we discuss what mommy is doing, among many other things.

I guess I just miss a little of the general everday conversation that you get from working outside the home. Like if you get a paper cut and you complain to the person at the desk next to you about how something so small can be such a pain, or when your baby is sick and you get to share stories with the other mom at the office, or when you have a horrible case of poision ivy from yard work and you can get tips on how to make it go away from the guy down the hall......just whatever. Nothing important. Just things that you would normally say to the person next to you.

As a SAHM, I don't get to do that. I really don't miss it or even think about it until something happens and I have to call my mom or Adam at work and bug them to tell them about it. This blog is where I do that kind of stuff. I just talk about whatever is going on or whatever is on my mind. I honestly don't expect anyone to find it interesting. But if someone is reading, I like to think that they are  praying for me about my struggles and trials, and praising with me for my triumphs and successes.

I say all of that to follow up on my previous post, "An Outsider?" I've been thinking about it and I suppose I should probably explain some of the reasons I am still feeling like an outsider.

If you have never done it before, it is pretty difficult to have a normal conversation with someone while your almost three year old is ripping your clothes off as she tries to climb into your arms and your 18 month old is running up and down the aisles grabbing every offering envelope, tissue, pencil, and visitor card she can grab and tossing them into the floor. If you have done it before and didn't consider it to be difficult, please give me a call. I am in desperate need of your secret.

If you know me, you know that I will be late. It doesn't matter who, when, what, or where. I will be late. It is in my blood. I have tried so hard to overcome it, and just can't seem to. The thing is, I despise being late. It is rude and inconsiderate. Because of that, I refuse to walk into a Sunday School class late. I hate to have to make people move over in the middle of the lesson to give me a place to sit. I hate for the teacher to have to start over so I will know what is going on. And I really hate for everyone to look at me when I walk in. If I can't be on time, I refuse to go to class. Even if I do get to church on time, by the time I walk Addie downstairs to class, take Avie to the nursery and get her diaper changed, talk to their teachers, and chat with maybe one person that I walk by in the hall, I am too late to go to my own class. I would also really like for Adam to come and sit with me, but he has to use S.S. time for music, so I'm on my own.

Mr. Wonderful started working late at work a couple of months before Christmas. They had a project that they had to finish before the first of the year, so he started working 50 hour weeks. He usually didn't get home until after 7 pm. Before that we had been attending Wednesday night services pretty regularly. When he started working late, I tried going by myself a couple of times, but it just didn't work out very well. By the new year when he wasn't working late anymore, we were not only out of the habit of going to a mid-week service, but the girls were sick every other week! It was ridiculous. Now that we have talked about wanting to start back on Wednesdays, Mr. Wonderful is working with my dad in the afternoons.

Basically, not having a regular S.S. class or a mid-week service and not really being able to talk to anyone when I am there, it is pretty hard to really get to know anyone. I still truly believe that God placed us in this new church. We felt very strong about the decision to leave our home church and felt very strong about our decision to join our new church. I'm not exactly sure what God has in store for us now. I do know that I am praying about it every day. I would love to be in a place where I know everyone and everyone knows me, but I would rather be in the place that God wants me to be. I want to be in a place where I can be used by Him.

I guess that is also part of why I am feeling frustrated right now. I don't feel like I am doing anything. I don't feel like I'm being used. True, I am extremely busy with the girls. True, they are sometimes wild and out of control. True, I am not always too good at making them behave. But it certainly is NOT true that I am not willing. All day every day my girls go with me and do whatever it is that I am doing. It may not be the most efficient way, but we get things done.

All of these things and more are what has led to my disconnected feeling. I may be frustrated, but I'm not worried because God is in control!!!! He has a plan and it is much greater than anything I can imagine. I know that He is able to use this situation to mold me into what He wants me to be. I'm not sure what that is, but it could have something to do with me getting out of my comfort zone and forcing myself to be outgoing. I secretly hope that isn't it, but don't tell anyone :0)