Remember that show Bill Cosby used to do called "Kids say the darndest thing"? He would start a conversation with a child and the entire show would have you laughing 'til you cried just because kids are so funny.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm watching my children on an episode of that show. I'm almost afraid to think too hard about what they say to others when I'm not around! Especially considering the things I do hear....
"He said that word that PaPa Jimmie said that we're not supposed to say."
Both Addie and Avie to me every single time they watch Beauty and the Beast. The word "stupid" is forbidden in our home. The girls heard my father-in-law say it once. I'm fairly sure they have no intentions of letting him live it down. Ever. "Bored" and "boring" are also forbidden. Watch yourself!
"Boys have to do this when they go potty."
Avie to me as she demonstrated. No, we're not sick and demented people...she is in the two year old class at school and some of the children in her class are still potty training. It isn't our fault she turned 3 just a few weeks after starting school and is much older than the other children in her class. It also isn't our fault that she is extremely observant. Don't worry, though. I talked to her about it. But that doesn't mean she won't tell everyone she sees about it.
"Did you know that birds go poop?"
Addie to her Aunt Marshie during our weekly Sunday lunch. There was a really nasty looking spot on the car door that morning so I guess it was on her mind.
"Mommy, your hiney is getting big!"
Avie to me on any given day. And, yes, Avie, it is. I was aware of that before you said it out loud.
"What did you eat?"
Avie to me as she tries to pull my mouth open so she can stick her nose inside it and sniff. I hadn't eaten anything. I had just brushed my teeth and she thought I was hiding chewing gum from her. What kind of cruel mother does she think I am?!
"Hurry, before mommy sees it!"
Addie to Avie at any given moment. They haven't figured out that mothers always know everything. Even when they aren't looking. Especially when there is a baby monitor in the room.
"Mommy, say, 'Night night, Ballie.'"
Avie to me because lately she insists that we call her Ballie and not Avie. Haven't figured that one out yet.
"No, you be the baby and I'll be the mommy."
Avie to Addie because playing "house" is their favorite thing to do! (yes, that means after about four years, something besides "dress-up" has taken the top spot!!)
"Mommy, you need to take a bath because you smell like daddy."
Addie to me after I'd been outside blowing leaves.
"If I fall in the potty, my friends will say, 'eeew, Avie's yucky.'"
Avie to me as she explained why she needed my help in the restroom.
"God is bigger than any monsters. He is bigger than everything!"
Addie explaining to Avie why she shouldn't be scared.
"I bet it was very stinky with all those animals on that boat!"
Addie to me after talking Noah and the ark at school one day. She's probably right. I bet it was stinky!
And that is only a very small taste of they random things I hear. Many of them I try to forget as soon as they say them. I don't even want to think about how bad it would be if they were boys!!
So, if you find yourself in conversation with my sweet little girls, just try to remember that I had absolutely nothing to do with it!!
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