about a zillion

First of all, let me just tell you that I have absolutely NO business blogging right now. I have about a zillion things to do, and haven't started any of it. In fact, I have so many things to do that it has been keeping me up the past few nights. Maybe if I take the time to put them all down, it will help me get organized enough to get something done!

Addie's birthday is in two weeks. I haven't even sent the invites yet. Actually, I haven't even made the invites yet. Mr. Wonderful gave me a Cricut Imagine for my birthday this year. I am so excited about it! It is such an awesome machine. It can do anything. The problem is that I don't know how to work it. I really want to use it to make Addie's invitations. I know that I should just give up for now and buy some, but I really had my heart set on making them myself. I am planning on using a watermelon theme for her party and having water games and activities, and I really wanted her invitations to have watermelons on them. Grrr. Maybe I'll try it one more time. This precious machine may just end up on Craigslist if I can't figure it out, though!!

Also, I forgot to rent the water slide for Addie's party until today. The one I wanted was rented so I chose another. It was also rented. And so on. The one I ended up with is the only one I really didn't want. Oh, well. As long as they have fun and are safe, then it doesn't really matter.

With me opening the shop and starting to work every day, I feel such an urge to organize everything in the house. Especially the things that I don't want the girls to get into. That would be bills and important paperwork and photos. I have a stack of at least 2,000 pictures sitting on the vanity in my bedroom from 2009. I don't do scrapbooks because I take too many pictures and want to use them all....even the ones where someone isn't looking or their eyes are closed. I know it's nuts, but I just really love how looking at pictures can bring you back to the exact moment when they were taken. I can remember everything about the entire day when I look at those pictures, so I want to put them all in albums, in order by date. When Avie was born, I got really behind and let them start piling up. Eventually, I just stopped getting them developed. As a result, I have eight SIM cards that have thousands of photos on them just waiting. It will cost several hundred dollars to develop each card. I would like to get started and just do a few at a time, but I don't want more pictures just sitting. I really need to get those out of my room and into albums. Maybe tonight.

Last year before Addie's birthday, Mr. Wonderful and my dad built the girls a playhouse. It is so stinkin' cute. I painted it the same color as our house, yellow with black shutters. But I didn't get finished before the party. And an entire year later, I still haven't finished. We also want to build a little covered area on the side of it so they will have a place to park their Barbie jeep and 4-wheeler. If we did it large enough, we may even be able to move their bikes and scooters out of Addie's bedroom and put them under there also. Once the yard is cleaned up enough, we intend to move the swing set and sand boxes over closer to the playhouse. Right now though, the entire yard is just a big ole mess!

Another thing about Addie's birthday, is that I can't decide what to give her. I really wanted to redecorate her room, but I couldn't decide if that was a good gift for a 4-year old or not. She still sleeps in her crib. And, don't you judge me for it, either!! At bedtime we carry her to her room, tell her goodnight, turn out the light and close the door. She sleeps in her own bed all night long and has never tried to climb out of it. But her bed can be changed into a toddler bed......and she is going to be four......and she will be starting preschool in the fall. I just can't decide if I'm ready to let my baby grow up! If I do decide to give her a room makeover, I would like to make the new bed linens myself....two weeks....eeeek! I would also think about painting the walls to better coordinate with the bedding fabric.....in two weeks....double eeeeeek!! But the bonus for redecorating her room is that I would move the huge television out along with the armoir that it is sitting in. I would paint that armoir and move it to the shop to use :) But I only have two weeks!!!!!!!!

Oh, but you'll be proud to know that I am in the process of using the Cricut to get started on her invites!! Hooray for me!!

But let's not forget that we have a ton of work to do at the lake, I still have to plan the menu for the party, clean the house for the party, cook everything from the menu for the party, find party decorations, decorate, come up with a birthday outfit, and a whole bunch more that I don't have time to mention!! Man, I better get started!

Love and prayers for you all!!

  

Gals My Age

Okay, so it's been a while since my last post which makes this very late, but I want to thank everyone for the sweet comments about my MaMa and especially for the prayers. It was a very difficult time for my family, but we pulled together and made it through. We spent several days at the Incredibles' house. We ate lots of food prepared by great friends, went through old pictures, shared memories, watched the kids run through the house, and laughed a lot. It was a special time for us all. I know that everyone always says this, but that is exactly what MaMa would have wanted. She always wanted her sons and the grandchildren to stick together. She used to tell me all the time to take good care of my sisters. I'm sure she probably said the same thing to them. She thought family was so important and so special and I do, too. 

My mom and I chose to close the shop for the days surrounding that weekend. When we returned on Tuesday to open, we stayed as busy as possible. It was nice to have a distraction. The following weekend was Addie's dance recital. I had been anxious about the recital for months. It made my stomach turn to think about it. No, I'm not completely crazy.....I was nervous about it because I knew Addie was nervous. As soon as Mrs. Heather started talking about dancing on "the big stage" Addie stopped wanting to go to the dance class she loved. She wouldn't dance at home and was adamant that she would NOT dance for everyone to watch. Mrs. Heather was so great at trying to prepare her for it and was even more patient than I could have hoped. She was the best. Addie had two dances. One song was "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and the other was "He's got the whole world in His hands." At rehearsal, Addie refused to dance to "Twinkle." She stood on the stage with her finger in her mouth and refused to move. As soon as she was off stage I went to the back to talk to her.

First, let me explain. It wouldn't bother me one single bit if she never stepped onto the stage. The recital means nothing to me. I wanted her to take dance because I knew she would love it, not so that she could put on a cute outfit and show off in front of everyone. I was nervous about it, though, because I knew she would be upset if she didn't do it. She is just like me in that way. She doesn't want to be in front of people and feels self-consious, but would regret it if she missed out. I spent my entire life worrying about what people would think, and I missed out on so much because of it. I don't want her to do that. I knew if she didn't dance that night, she would change her mind later and want to do it and it would be too late. So I really wanted to help make her comfortable with it.

When I went to the back, I asked her if she wanted to come watch the other girls dance for a while. Of course, she did. She loved it. She sat as still as possible, just taking it all in. When it was her turn again, she went right out there and did it! I was so proud of her! I cried, no, sobbed, the entire time!! I just knew what a big deal it was for her to be up there at all. It just came pouring out of me and I looked like an idiot, but I didn't care. The night of the recital, she did the same thing. Refused to dance to the first slow song, but then bounced around and danced her heart out for the second, more upbeat song. She was so proud of herself and I was even more proud! We went to the "chips & cheese" place to eat Mexican with the family afterwards and had a great time. The next day we went to a wedding for a sweet friend that we have known our whole lives. I served the groom's cake at the reception and had so much fun. We got to spend time with people we haven't seen in a while and catch up. It turned out to be a great weekend.

The following Monday was Addie's dance class party. I let Mr. Wonderful take her so that I could cook for the family. We took food over to his grandparents' house and spent time with them. The next day I had to go to the doctor for a check-up. I didn't really think anything about going, just wanted to get it over with. When the doctor came in, he informed me that "gals my age" tend to have problems with different things and that it was time to have some blood work done. Really?! "Gals my age?" Doesn't seem like a big deal, I know...unless you consider the fact that this was the day before my 30th birthday!!! So after getting my cholesterol, thyroid, hormone levels, and vitamin D checked, I headed home. I must admit that even though my birthday hadn't bothered me before, I was a bit bothered about the "gals my age" comment.

I woke up the next morning extremely early and went to the bathroom. I opened the blinds only to see "Happy 30th Birthday, Holley" signs in my yard and black balloons tied to my mailbox. Hooray. Mr. Wonderful left for work and I finally got myself and the girls ready. As I was gathering my purse and keys, I sent the girls to the door to wait. Addie came running back to me and said, "Mommy, somebody drawed all over your car!" My response? "No, they didn't." "Yes, they did!" She shouted. Wow. Thanks for the warning, Mr. Wonderful. My oldest sister, Amazing, had not only painted my car and put signs on my lawn, but she had put several signs in the neighborhood that I grabbed up and stuffed in my trunk on the way to work. I was running late and didn't get to drive the car through the car wash. I got to work to find that my mom had put balloons and signs all over the shop. Later that day, my middle sister, Awesome, had flowers delivered with the dreaded black balloons tied to them. And to think, I wasn't upset about turning 30. It hadn't really phased me at all. Who knew it was such a big deal?! I am very thankful that my sweet family chose to make such a big deal out of my birthday. But honestly, I really, really would have been okay with just a phone call :) 

Yesterday after I closed the shop, I ran out to do a little shopping for myself and Mr. Wonderful. We are always getting things for the girls and our closets are looking pretty rough, so I figured it was time for us to have a turn. After searching through 5 different stores, my question is this: Where does a 30 year old mother of two (on a budget) shop for work worthy clothing? Especially a mother who does not want to dress like a teenager or a grandmother. It seems like everything I looked at was made for stick people. Nothing for people with hips or.....do I dare say, thighs?! Eeeek!! I would have to starve myself for months to fit into those clothes. They are all made so awkward. The legs are too tight and the waist is too big. The shirts are all either cut way too low, are too short, or the sleeves are too short. What is wrong with the clothing industry? Don't they know that super tight pants and a too short shirt aren't even attractive on the mannequins? I suppose this makes my birthday even that much more of a big deal. I'm too old to be fashionable. I just don't get it. Didn't we all learn from the 80's and early 90's? Why must we repeat those terrible fashion mistakes? I settled for the only solid colored shirts I could find and the one pair of shorts without holes...they were actually long enough that they didn't look like underware. Mr. Wonderful, well he didn't even get that much because it was even harder (if that is possible) to find anything for him. Almost every t-shirt I picked up either had someone's face or a cartoon character on it. And the jeans? They are even more ill-fitting than the women's. Ugh, I used to think shopping was so much fun. I suppose that was before I had...........these dreaded thighs! Eeeeek!

We are headed to the lake this afternoon. My mother, Mrs. Incredible, is once again proving why I call her incredible.....she is working for me Saturday so I can go. I am so ready for this break. We took a quick trip there last weekend, but will get to stay a bit longer this time. The whole family will be there with us, also. I can't wait. The weather is supposed to be perfect. The girls love it there and so do Mr. Wonderful and I. If I were to ever move away from my family, it would be to move to the water! I love it! The warm sun, the cool water, the breeze...........I'd better stop before I get too relaxed.....I still have to run home and finish packing!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe weekend!
Love and prayers for you all!!      

big ole messy mess

As I sit here tonight staring at the computer, I am not really certain whether a blog post is appropriate or not. But yet, I am still here. I guess it's because writing has always helped me collect my thoughts. Whenever I feel lost or have something weighing heavily, it somehow brings me comfort. I do feel lost right now and comfort would be a wonderful thing. My thoughts are all over the place and it would be nice if they would just settle down.

I'm not sure if I ever explained how Mr. Wonderful and I came up with our girls' names or not, or where our shop name, LizzieLu & BabySue came from. I've had so many people ask since the shop opened, so even if I've told you before, I think it's time to do it again.

Our first pregnancy ended at 12 weeks in miscarriage. We never found out if we were having a boy or girl, but we talk about that pregnancy and our baby often. My mother gave me a book about healing after losing a child, and after reading it several times, I finally worked up the courage to ask Mr. Wonderful if we could name the baby that we lost. We decided to make it official, and use the name "Baby Roberts." Thus, the "Baby" in LizzieLu & BabySue.

Next came Anna Sue. Oh, how excited we were when we found out we were having a girl. I just knew she had to be named after my mother, Sue. Thus, the "Sue" in the shop's name. Mr. Wonderful's mother's middle name is Ann.  Anna Sue was stillborn at around 8 months. Although they don't understand, Addie and Avie are very familiar with their sister's name. They actually use it pretty often. When playing, they will go to "Anna Sue's house" or call Anna Sue on the phone, or will talk about Happy's friend, Anna Sue. Addie still calls the shop LizzieLu & "AnnaSue." Every time I hear their sweet little voices say their big sister's name, it brings me so much joy. They may not understand now, but one day they will know how special Anna Sue is.

When Addie came along, I wrote down several names that I liked. I couldn't really narrow it down too much, so I picked up the dreaded baby name book. I looked up Mr. Wonderful's name, Adam, and there it was. The perfect name for our sweet girl. Addison. It means, "child of Adam." Perfect. My middle name is Elizabeth and it just seemed appropriate for her to be named after her mommy and her daddy, so Addison Elizabeth she is. Thus, the "Lizzie" in the shop's name.

Addie was only 7 months old when I found out I was expecting Avie. And I was scared. I wasn't upset because they were so close (I was actually excited about that part) what I was worried about was how in the world would I be able to take care of a newborn and a 15 month old at the same time!! I was worried that I would have to put them in daycare if I couldn't do it by myself, and I really wanted to stay home with them. As always, my worry was pushed away and the situation was placed in God's hands. Have I ever told you before how much greater His plan is than mine? He provided exactly what we needed, exactly when we needed it. At our wedding, instead of having a sign in book, we had a picture frame with an over sized mat and let everyone sign it. A friend of my mom's had brought her daughter to the wedding and she signed her name in the most adorable child's handwriting (which is fairly large). This frame has been in our dining room since we moved in, and so we had been looking at the name, Avery, for quite a while and had grown to love it. We went through several names with Avie before deciding that there was no other name that should even be in the running except for my MaMa Hobbs'. Lucille. My grandmother made the decision on her own to move into the nursing home when I was expecting Avie. Addie and I would go and visit with her. She was so excited when she found out we were naming our baby girl, Avery Lucille, after her. Thus, the "Lu" in the shop's name.

On our way home from the hospital with AvieLu, I made Mr. Wonderful stop by to see my MaMa first. I knew she wouldn't be able to make it to the hospital to see her namesake, so I had to come to her. I called ahead and asked them to bring her to the front of the building (because I wasn't sure I could walk all the way down the hall to her room). We met outside on the front porch. There is just something so special about the older generation holding an infant. It may seem silly, but I think of it as them "blessing" the baby. That picture will be forever in my mind of her holding my new baby girl. Avie's hair even had a red tint to it the first few months, and my MaMa was a red-head! It was meant to be. Avie even has my MaMa's mouth. Which means she has very thin lips, totally opposite from me. Avie loves to put on "wipstick" which is really just strawberry flavored Chapstick. I think of MaMa every time I see her do it. She presses those thin little lips together and intently paints all around them. When she finishes, it looks like she's been drinking red KoodAid!

Most people didn't know my MaMa as Lucille, though. My grandfather always called her "Cille" and so did many others in the family. I think the people who worked with her at Avondale called her Frances. To everyone else, she was just MaMa. She was really something. My AvieLu reminds me so much of her. My mom and dad think so, too. MaMa was so much fun to be around. I don't think it was possible to have a conversation with her and not laugh until you cried. She was hilarious. She would say the very first thing that came to her mind, and nothing could stop her. Mom says she used to hold her breath when MaMa was with my oldest sister when she was a toddler. She says my sister would repeat everything and you just never knew what MaMa would say!

 My MaMa has always had such a huge place in my life. I would spend the night with her as often as my mom would let me. When we were much younger, she would sleep upstairs with my sisters and me. She was always worried about us navigating the stairs at night, so she put a "pee pot" in the room in case we woke up and had to use the restroom. I'll never admit whether or not I used that pot...so don't even ask! Years later, when I was older, I would sleep in the bed with her downstairs when I stayed, because my grandfather slept in a hospital bed. She would sleep at the very edge of the bed and would reach her arm behind her to keep a hand on me. She always slept like that, on the edge. I would try to talk her into moving over a little because I was worried she would fall, but she always seemed to work her way back to the edge. She was always such a light sleeper, too. If I ever made any move she would ask, as if she had been wide awake, "you alright?" 

I have so many awesome memories of being with her. Going on trips, and of staying up late, and of watching tv game shows, and so much more. I remember driving to Dothan one year and looking over to see a clown driving the car next to us. My MaMa took a picture of him and was waving and acting so silly. There was also the trip to New Orleans when my middle sister and I decided to swim in the hotel pool. My MaMa tried to tell us not to, and boy was she right! The strangest thing happened to our hair, probably too much chemical....she never did let me forget about that happening!! Then there was the spray she used to carry in her purse...I know my cousin, Desi, remembers that one, but I'll keep the details between those of us that already know :) There was also the night that my sisters and I were up late playing cards with MaMa and we were being so loud laughing, that she decided to close the door so we wouldn't wake my grandfather. Good idea, right? Not when she went to check on him later and the door had locked! She pulled the door handle right off the door!! My sister ended up climbing into a window only to find my grandfather sleeping peacefully, totally oblivious to our chaos. And that is only a tiny bit of the craziness and fun I experienced with her. Whenever my mom and I are together and do something silly, we always make the comment, "alright, now, MaMa!" And that is because that is all we can think of is her. She could make the most dull things just come to life. 

My girls are only allowed to watch cartoons from NickJr, and only certain ones. They always have breaks on that network between shows and say, "now it's time to move with the music." One of the songs they play by Laurie Berkner says,
"I'm a mess. I'm a mess. I'm a big ole messy mess.
From the north to the south and the east to the west
what I am is a really, really, really big mess!"

I always sing this song to AvieLu because it totally describes her personality. I don't think I'll ever have to worry about AvieLu. She can hold her own. I may need to worry about the person who crosses her, though. My prayers go out to the one who is brave enough! When she sets her mind to something, not much can stop her. I am tempted to use the word "stubborn" but I guess it is really just that she knows what she wants, how & when she wants it, and she won't let anything get in her way. But at the same time, she is so much fun to be around. She just walks in the room and you know the fun arrived. I can't tell you how many times people who have never been around her stop me and say, "I bet that one is a handful!" I have no idea what it is that Avie does to make them come to that conclusion. I just smile and say, "she sure is!" 

The "I'm a mess" song perfectly describes my MaMa's personality, also. She was always such a mess....and I loved it!! I'm so blessed that my AvieLu has her MaMa Hobbs' personality. They are both one in a million. They just have that spark about them. I love that I can look at Lu and see so much of the MaMa that I adore in her.

I usually end my blog posts by saying, "love and prayers for you all." This time I still send my love for you all and my appreciation for you reading about my chaotic life. But this time I am going to request prayers for my family from all of you. Please just remember us and pray for comfort. Thank you.