An Outsider?

Wow, I have so much on my mind right now, I don't even know where to begin.

First of all, I have so much to do that I don't know where to start. I feel like I've been running in place for the last week and haven't really gotten anywhere. I decided to start my cleaning/organizing again because we've been able to go for more than a few days without being sick. The family room is messy and needs to be cleaned, but is still pretty much organized (only because there isn't anything in there!)

So, I started in the laundry room this time. I needed to make enough space to use it as my sewing room. I cleared out everything that didn't belong, threw lots of stuff away, then cleaned & organized what was left. Laundry/Sewing room-done! Hooray!!

Of course, when I cleared out everything that didn't belong in the laundry/sewing room, it landed in the dining room. We currently do not have a dining set, so the girls usually play in there while I'm cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc. So I cleared out everything that didn't belong in there, leaving some of the larger toys, threw lots of stuff away, then cleaned & organized what was left. Dining/Play Area-done! Hooray!!!

Of course, when I cleared out everything that didn't belong in the dining/play area, it landed on the kitchen counter. I haven't done anything with the kitchen yet. Now the dining room floor is filled with sand, toys and shoes are scattered everywhere, laundry is spilling out of the new basket and into the floor, I'm in the middle of three different sewing projects....

What do I do now? Do I leave the kitchen to go back to the other rooms? Will I ever get caught up enough to be able to do one thing at a time? I am completely aware of the fact that this is an incredible "problem" to have. It means that I have a house to live in, clothes & shoes to wear, and kids healthy enough to play outside. I am so thankful for that. I just hate knowing that my house isn't as clean as I want it to be. I can't stand the thought of somebody seeing it like this. (By the way, my dad saw it in the middle of my laundry room clean-up. He literally had to step over piles of things to get into the house. I was mortified. At least it wasn't my mom that saw it. I even threatened dad if he told mom about how bad it looked!) 

On top of the house cleaning/organizing, I still haven't made the girls' Easter dresses yet or Jessie's flip flops. I have thousands (yes thousands) of pictures to organize into albums, TONS of yard work to do-cutting trees, cutting grass, weed eating, spraying, leaves to clean up, stumps to dig up, dirt to move around, mulch to put out, etc. In addition to the to-do list, baseball season has started for my niece and nephews so I have ball games to watch, I have several new recipes I want to try out, need to decide whether to donate or have a yard sale, I want to teach Addie her letters, the weather outside has been beautiful, and all I want to do is go out and play with Adam and the girls!

If I were going to be completely honest with myself, I would admit that none of those things listed above are really what's been on my mind lately. Those things have a fairly simple solution. I just do whatever I'm able to do at the time depending on what is going on and what the girls are doing. Those are every day things. What has really been weighing on my mind doesn't seem to have a simple solution.

I have been feeling a little "lost" lately. "Lost" as in location. "Location" as in home. "Home" as in church home. I've told you before that Adam and I met at church. My parents moved their membership when I was in the 6th grade. Before that we had attended the same church since before I was born. When we started going to the new place, I felt out of place. I was the only girl in my Sunday school class. The boys in class were all either related to each other or had known each other all their life. The teacher was the mother of one of the boys in class. Can you say awkward? My sisters were both in the youth and they sat with them during service while I sat with my parents. I felt like I just didn't belong. It took years for me to feel any better about being there, and even longer to feel like I really belonged. 

Adam and I grew up at that church. The people there knew us when we were little. They watched us grow up. They watched us make the decision to turn our lives over to Christ. They were there when the two of us were in high school and argued so much that we couldn't be in the same room. They were there when the two of us became best friends. And when we started dating. And when we moved off to college and back home again.

They were the first people we told we were engaged. They watched us get married. They were there for us when we lost Baby and Anna Sue. They prayed for us and with us when we found out we were expecting Addie. They mentored us and supported us and held us accountable. They trusted us with their children when we felt called into youth ministry. They trusted us with the church when they called Adam to be a deacon.

Even when they disagreed with us, they wanted the best for us. They gave us an opportunity to explore different areas of ministry that we probably wouldn't have had anywhere else. Music, sound, maintenance, babies, toddlers, pre-teens, teenagers, teaching, event planning, van ministry, counseling, decorating, outreach, hosting, cooking, cleaning, kitchen crew........I don't know that I can think of anything at that church that we didn't have the opportunity, the invitation, or the expectation to somehow be a part of or to help out with.

Our family was at that church. Our friends were at that church. We were there every Wednesday and Sunday. Because we were involved in so many things, most of the time we never went home on Sunday. We went out with our church friends every Sunday night. If we ever did anything with friends, it was with friends from church. We knew everyone there and everyone there knew us.

It was heart-breaking when we felt like God was leading us in a different direction. We ignored it for a long time and tried to make it work so that we could stay, but it was finally clear that God wanted us to be somewhere else. Someone told us once that we would never be able to reach our full potential in ministry until we left our "home church." I'm not sure if this is true or not, but it certainly seemed to be what God was telling us at the time.

With an almost 8 month old Addie in my arms and Adam's hand in mine, we walked through the doors of a new church. It was a terrifying experience. It was so difficult being the visitor. It was something we were not very good at. After several months of visiting, we felt led to move our membership.

Over two years later, we are a part of the nursery/toddler ministry, Adam is a part of the music ministry, I've helped out with the children's choir, we participated in the Christmas play, I'm a part of the food ministry, we attend every week that the girls aren't sick (which hasn't been too often since Christmas), we were attending regularly on Wednesday nights but had to stop, we went for Wed. night meals, I helped out a teacher for bible school, we've been to a S.S. Christmas party, been to a women's ornament swap, went to Trunk of Treats, helped out with a women's conference, tried out a women's bible study during the week, tried three different S.S. classes, both girls attend Sunday school, we've invited friends and family to attend, and we try to participate in/attend most events that are available.

After over two years, all of these things and more, I still feel like a visitor. I just don't understand. I hate feeling like the new kid. I hate for things to feel awkward. I just want to be comfortable there. I want it to feel like home. I know that it never will be home. Nothing can replace the people from our "home church" who have shared so much of our lives. Nothing will replace the connection that we have with them. That is not what I expect nor is it what I want. I just want the people at this place to share our lives now. I want to have a new connection with them.

Why am I so bad at being the new person? What am I supposed to do to make it better? They all know each other and each other's stories the way that our "home church" knows us and ours. How do you break into that and become a real part of it and not feel like an outsider? 

Addie's Ruffled Tank

She loved it and it looks great!!

Ruffled Shirt for "Clown Pants"

Addie has worn those poor little polka dot pants that I made for her twice already. You know, the ones that looked like clown pants that I ended up having to cut off into gaucho pants.

Well, she just wore them with a plain white shirt once and once with an old family reunion t-shirt that didn't match at all.

(And, yes, at our 25th family reunion anniversary, they had t-shirts made.

And, yes, I wore one even though I was huge and pregnant with Avie.

And, yes, the local newspaper came by and took pictures of us and printed them in Sunday's paper.

Yes, that's my family!

And, yes, I love them anyway!!!!)  

But back to the polka dot pants,

I finally decided on the perfect shirt for them.

I just grabbed a tank top out of her closet and ruffled it with the same fabric from the pants.

I added a little green in the ruffles as a nod to the green ruffle that was supposed to be on the pants that made them look like clown pants!!

I think it turned out pretty cute. It was my nap time project for the day. I can't wait for her to get up so I can see what she thinks of it!

Addie's Ruffled Pants Fitting

I was so excited when I tried these pants on Addie!

Not only do they look precious on her,

but she loved them!!

She refused to take them off so she is napping in them now...

and they still have a safety pin in the elastic!

Don't worry though, it's covered in fabric so she is safe:)

I may just have to take back what I said before and make several more of these!

Ruffled Pants

Make sure you get a good look at these cutie pie ruffle pants,

because I probably won't be making them again!!!

The problem isn't that they were all that difficult, they were just time consuming.

Plus, the pattern said to use attachment strips

instead of sewing the ruffle directly onto the pants.

I am sure that they want you to do it that way to be sure that they are even,

but it just seemed like a lot of extra work to me!

Addie had better love them

because I will be so upset if they just hang in the closet.

Now I have to decide what style top to pair with them.

I'm sure it will be something simple! 

Loop Turner & Avie's Fitting

Ok, so I know that the straps aren't attached in this picture,

but I just had to show off how cute this outfit is on Avie!

I love how it shows off her perfectly plump little arms!!

I had to try it on her anyway to make sure I had the elastic right,

so why not grab the camera?!

I promise I have already turned the straps...

(thanks to Mr. Wonderful, who granted my loop turner wish on his way home from work)

.....but I haven't gotten around to attaching them yet

 because I got involved with another project.

I just had to show how great this loop turner is though...

Check out how easily it turned these thin straps!!

Such an awesome tool!!

Ruffle Tie-Top and Bloomers

No, this is not a SKIRT and bloomers.

It is a SHIRT and bloomers.

The shirt is supposed to have straps on the front and back that tie over the shoulder.

I've already made the straps...

They are just too thin to turn!

I tried several different things, but obviously none of them worked.

I have now added "tube turner" to my sewing kit wish list.

As soon as that wish is granted, I will post a picture of the finished product!

Cranberry-Apple Relish

* I know it doesn't sound too good, but I took this everywhere I went during the holidays and everyone was begging for the recipe! Who knew?! It is the perfect replacement for the wobbly canned cranberry sauce and is great addition to the usual finger foods you see at parties.

2 cups fresh cranberries
1 (20 ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained well
1 orange, chopped and seeded
2 Granny Smith apples, peeled and cored
1/2 cup chopped pecans, optional
1 cup sugar

Process cranberries and apples until coarsely ground. (Don't over-process or it will become soup!! It should be shredded about the same as coleslaw.) Combine with pineapple, chopped orange, sugar, and pecans if desired. Mix well. Chill, covered for 8-10 hours.

Wide Leg Capri Pants

These pants are supposed to have a super cute ruffle on the bottom.

They are also supposed to be full length.

When I started to attach the ruffle, I realized that it made them look just like clown pants!

They looked like pjs full length,

so I cut them off and made them into gaucho capris instead!

Pillow Case Dress and Bloomers

I made these dresses by looking at one I had bought for the girls.

Made the bloomers from a pattern.

I have to figure out a better way to do the arm holes on the dresses.

The bloomers were my first attempt at a ruffle!

Once I figured out how to read the pattern and work my machine,

it wasn't as bad as I thought. 

White Chili

2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 tablespoon olive oil
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 (10 ounce) can tomatoes with green chiles
2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 teaspoons chili powder
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano, crumbled
1/4 teaspoon cayene pepper
6 cups chicken broth
3 (16 ounce) cans great Northern beans
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1 cup sour cream
salt and pepper to taste

Boil chicken. Let stand until cool. Chop chicken. Heat olive oil in large sauce pan. Add garlic, tomatoes with green chiles and all spices. Saute for 2 minutes. Add chicken broth and beans and mix well. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 2 hours, stirring occasionally. Add chicken, cheese, and sour cream. Simmer to blend flavors, stirring until cheese melts. Season with salt and pepper. Serve with additional cheese and sour cream.

No, I'm not just being a slacker

I know it has been a while since my last post, and no, I'm not just being a slacker. I've actually had a lot going on in the last week or two. Here is a run down to catch you up on all the chaos you've missed.

We'll start on Saturday, Feb. 20 and go from there.

Took the girls to Baby Leah's birthday party
went out to eat with Gran and Papa after
then went to WalMart in Talladega to look for fabric and they had sold out :(
We woke up a little late Sunday morning
decided to skip church and take the girls to the zoo
Avie's favorite was the gorilla, Addie's was the rhinoceros...always complete opposites!
Adam stood in line for 45 minutes to spend over $25 on 3 sodas and 4 cookies
Addie decided to be a big girl while we waited on him and ran all over the playground and even braved the rope bridge all by herself.
She also rode the train, which I wasn't sure she would do, and she loved it :)
a squirrel snuck into our stroller while we rode and snacked on the fries that were in there, how bizarre
We stopped and bought fabric on the way home
I stayed up late making an outfit for Addie
PaPa Jimmie and MaMa Carol came by to visit with the girls Monday afternoon
about the same time, my neighbor came by
followed by Baby Leah's mommy and her meme
Adam came home to a house full of people!
It was fun though. We don't have people over very often.
I stayed up late making an outfit for Avie.
Addie woke up Tuesday morning with the stomach virus.
She is the sweetest sick person I've ever seen.
I slept on the sofa bed with her that night. Didn't get much sleep at all.
By Wednesday night Addie was feeling better.
That was about the same time that I got sick with it.
Later that night Avie got sick. Then Adam. Yuck.
Adam and I did nothing all day Thursday but lay on the couch.
By that night I had washed everything in the house and sprayed everything with Clorox Cleanup
On Friday we were sick of being in the house.
We took a family trip to buy new toothbrushes
Had lunch and supper out with the family
Adam worked with my dad on Saturday
me and the girls had lunch with the family
My awesome sister insisted on taking the girls home with her for the afternoon
I went to Kohl's and spent my $40 Kohl's cash before it expired :)
it was much easier shopping without the girls, but also a little boring...I'm never alone.
I ended up staying on the phone most of the time
Came home, picked up the girls and Adam then went out for loaded cheese fries...yummy
Avie had a terrible runny nose so I stayed home from church with her on Sunday
sent Adam and Addie by themselves
all four of us took a nap after lunch. Nice.
I was tired of eating out so I made beef tips and rice for supper
Downloaded a pattern for some super cute pants on Monday
Mr. Wonderful stopped by and picked up fabric for me on his way home
I jammed up the machine three different times trying to serge the edges for the ruffle
still not sure what I'm doing wrong
possibly the wrong size needle, according to my mom
finally gave up and went to bed at 1 am
pants ended up looking like clown pants :(
very discouraging
I'm not sure what I did on Tuesday and Wednesday.......
probably not much since I can't remember
And today I've actually been fairly productive.
I've been cleaning all day long, and still trying to get caught up on all the laundry.
I'm hoping to get the house in order so that I can go to Cotton Tail's tomorrow afternoon.
Avie needs an Easter basket. I'm hoping to find one just like Addie's
If the weather is warm enough, Saturday will be spent working outside!!!
I would love to have a raised garden in the back one day with squash, tomatoes, and okra.
I want some blueberries, too. And I want a big back deck that is partially covered so I can sit and watch the girls play.
And, oh, to have one of those plush green front lawns that looks like velvet, with beautiful cherry trees lining a white vinyl fence, and perfectly pruned shrubs surrounded by fresh red mulch in front of the house, with a cobblestone walkway from the paved driveway to the front porch.
My yard looks nothing like that. But goals are a good thing, right?
My yard is big, though, and has a trampoline and a swing set, and it is littered with toys and the girls absolutely love it out there.
I love it, too, even if it doesn't look like my dream yard.
I love being outside and watching the girls play.
I can't wait for Spring.
I love days when we only come inside for lunch and then head right back out.
I'm hoping Saturday will be one of those days.
I'm also hoping that my life will return to it's normal chaotic state and stays that way. The last two weeks of sickness and busyness are not at all for me!!! So, no, I'm not just being a slacker by not blogging, and no, I didn't start something else that I'm not going to finish. My life has just been way too hectic!