Skinny-Fat? Yuck!

Ever had one of those days that just never seems to end?

You know what I mean.

You try to stay busy to pass the time, but the clock just never seems to move.

The seconds feel like minutes; the minutes feel like hours.

So, ever had one of "those days" that just never seems to end?

I have.

I feel as though I have been having one of "those days"

every single day for quite a while.

Many of the people in our lives already know that Mr. Wonderful has been experiencing some health problems over the past 2 1/2 years.

But because we have been through so much in our short time together,

we have learned to rely completely on Christ and each other in difficult times.

In so many ways I consider that to be a great thing.

But when I talk to friends and family about our situation,

I find myself holding back.

I suppose it could be because I know that there are people who are in much worse situations than us.

Or it could be because I don't want to seem as though I am searching for sympathy.

Or it could be because I don't want to be whiny.

Or it could be because I think some people just really don't care to hear about all my problems.

So although I feel that mine and Mr. Wonderful's ability to cling to one another as we hit our knees and pray for guidance is an incredible thing...

I am also aware that if we don't let others in on what is really going on,

then we are keeping them from being able to hit their knees and pray for us.

So, with all of that said...

Here it goes, our journey to good health.

It all started in December of 2007. Mr. Wonderful began having some gastrointestinal problems (basically, there was a lot of blood in his poop). Addie was only about 6 months old and was just growing out of her colic symptoms. I was still suffering horrible side effects from the gall bladder surgery I'd had in October of 2007. Because of my experiences, we had been to a lot of doctors & were aggravated with them & I had studied a lot about gastro issues & we really just weren't concerned about Mr. Wonderful. We guessed that it was something called internal hemorrhoids. By January we were expecting Avie, and diarrhea began to accompany the blood. I honestly thought that he probably had gallstones, because his symptoms were very close to mine, but he wanted to wait until after Addie's birthday to go to the doctor. I was okay with that. Besides, I had lived through 4 months of pregnancy plus several more months after delivery with gallstones while waiting on the doctors to finally decide what was wrong with me. I kept telling them it wasn't just reflux. Ugh.

Well, the birthday came and went, and we finally called the doctor. It turns out that I didn't know as much as I thought, mostly because the patient had left out the important fact that he was experiencing pain along with everything else. A colonoscopy revealed that he had ulcerative colitis. Two years of trying different medicines later, he was still very sick and had actually gotten much worse. He was losing weight, couldn't eat, didn't have energy, was having severe leg cramps, and always had to be in close proximity to the bathroom. 

In December of 2009, blood work showed that his platelets were too low. The gastro doctor said that it was a side effect of the medicine and changed it to something new. Finally, the new drug worked!!! No more colitis symptoms!! My wonderful husband finally started to feel normal. Life was great...for a couple of months. By April of 2010, he was staying so exhausted he could barely get out of bed. He was keeping terrible looking bruises all over his legs and arms. He had dark circles under his eyes and was very pale. 

I called the medical assistant and told her his platelets were low again. I believe the normal range is between 150-450,000. His were 20,000. Off to the hematologist he went. That doctor believes that he has a condition called ITP. He was put on a high dose of Prednisone. After 3 weeks of 60 mg, he had gained 47 pounds, was already "moon-faced" and having trouble concentrating, and had such extreme swelling in his legs that he couldn't walk. He missed several days from work because I wouldn't let him drive. He couldn't pick up the girls because I was afraid he would fall with them, like he had already done several times that week.        

Thankfully, after his dosage was cut in half, the swelling went away. Unfortunately, the weight did not. We have now been instructed to lose most of it. He isn't overweight, but because it happened so fast they are concerned that it is putting a strain on his heart. Neither one of us have ever dieted before, so this is completely new to us. (I thought about going on a diet many years ago and gained several pounds in one week, so it will be interesting to see how this goes.) 

We are going to try to make simple changes instead of going overboard. We are completely avoiding fried foods and having sodas and sweets in moderation. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I must confess that we eat like a bunch of college frat guys. It is so sad, too, because I love to cook. I just never seem to have enough time. I have to make myself try to cook something "real" twice a week. I used to cook every night, but the ages and stages of the girls right now just doesn't seem to allow it. That HAS to change.

Along with our changes in diet, we will also begin to exercise. I have a video that I've been wanting to try for a while and Mr. Wonderful promised to do it with me. This is also new territory for us. We have never worked out together. Ever. He worked out in high school for sports and I did in college for fun. I've never been concerned with what the scale said. You don't walk around with your weight tattooed on your forehead so why should you care? I care what I feel like. How much energy I have. Whether or not I get winded playing with the girls or walking up the stairs. I care what I feel like in my clothes. Beyond that, what's the point? Right?

Well, I was channel surfing during nap time a few weeks ago and the "best and worst beach body" countdown was on. I flipped it on just in time to see the #1 worst. I have no clue who the celebrity was, but I don't think she weighed 95 pounds. She was tiny. The comedian who was commentating said that obviously being skinny didn't mean that you were in good shape. I felt my cheeks turn red. I was suddenly reminded of an article I read years ago about being "skinny-fat". The author explained that just because she was thought of by others as being thin, it didn't mean she didn't have flabby thighs and cellulite under those size 0 clothes.

Skinny-Fat? Yuck! I am determined that this will not be me. Um, no, I don't wear a size 0. I just want my body to be strong and healthy so that I can be here to take care of my girls and Mr. Wonderful. Workout and diet, here I come! Don't worry, I'll keep you up to date on the progress. The exercise starts tomorrow! 

But back to Mr. Wonderful's health. The side effects of this drug, Prednisone, have been devastating not only to him, but to me. They have taken my best friend from me. He has been forgetful, can't concentrate, is different with the girls, can't sleep, can't get out of bed, stays tired, doesn't listen very well, not to mention the emotional side effects. On top of all of this, he stays frustrated about it all because he know he isn't being himself. Finally, the dose has been lowered to 5 mg. Over the past 4 days, I have slowly watched my best friend come back to me. I have missed him so much. I know it is selfish to say with all he has been through. But it is the truth. We share such a connection that we don't even have to talk to know what the other is saying. We think so much alike that we will call each other and get a busy signal because we dialed at the same time. I love to spend time with him. I don't think that "he completes me" because Christ does that, but I do know that he compliments me. He just picks up where I leave off. I pray that he continues to come back to me, my best friend that I have missed so much.

I know we still have a long road ahead of us. I also know that medicines are necessary and sometimes side effects can not be avoided. I understand that and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get him healthy again. This is exactly what I promised him when I said "in sickness and in health" and I didn't lie. I will stand by his side and fill in the gaps when he is unable and be his caregiver at all times. But I will not say that it has been or will be easy, just as I am sure he wouldn't. It is a difficult thing to watch the one you love and need so much suffer in any way. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility placed on me, just as I am sure he feels frustrated by not being able to carry responsibility. I must say that he has been a very good patient. Normally, when he is sick, he is so stubborn and refuses to do what I say or let me take care of him. But he has been much more agreeable this time, which makes the role of caregiver much easier.

 

Now that you know most of the gritty details about our journey to good health,

I ask that you will be in prayer for our specific struggles.

Please pray with me that God will lay His hand on Mr. Wonderful and heal him.

Please pray with me that I will be a good and patient caregiver for him.

We believe that God uses trials to draw us closer to Him,

so please pray with me that we will grow in Christ and trust Him to carry us.

Thank you to everyone who cared enough to read this entire post.

Please leave your prayer requests in the comments, even if they are unspoken.

I would love to for us to have the opportunity to pray for you.

There is power in prayer! I am living proof!