here comes Tuesday morning!!

Wow, what a morning I've had. Just when I though that things could not get worse than the Sunday evening and Monday I had, here comes Tuesday morning!! I suppose I'll start my whining at the beginning, so here goes.

On Sunday, I woke up to burning ache behind my right shoulder blade. It was pretty bad, but I just popped a few Tylenol and went to church. Later that day, I tried some Motrin. It just kept getting worse. I was even having a hard time driving. Not just because I couldn't look left or right, but because it hurt extremely badly to even reach up to hold the steering wheel. Ouch. When we finally got home from church, I dug out a bottle of muscle relaxers. They didn't help either. Just made me sleepy. Mr. Wonderful was left to take care of the girls and get them into bed. At about 3 a.m., I woke up to an excruciating pain that seemed to have me paralyzed. I managed to wake Mr. Wonderful who spent the rest of the night/morning taking care of me. I managed to get a bit more sleep, but woke up feeling just as bad.

After Mr. Wonderful had dropped the girls off at school, he came home and helped me get ready for the doctor's appointment he had made for me. One burning shot and three prescriptions later, we were on our way home. It seems to just be a strained muscle and nothing serious. I spent my entire Monday in bed. Mr. Wonderful did everything...took girls to dance, picked up my meds, made lunch, cooked supper, and put girls into bed again.

I woke up this morning still stiff and sore, but so much better than before. It was so good to be out of bed! I got the girls ready for school and even managed to scoot them out the door early. As I was driving through the neighborhood, I felt something scratch my left leg. Then it started to burn. I carefully (I was a bit scared to move for fear of making my back hurt again) reached down and touched the burning spot. The burning turned into stabbing pain. I stopped the car and pulled my pants leg up to see what the problem was....a yellow jacket. By then it had already stung me two more times on the leg. It stung me on my finger as I tried to get it off my pants. I threw the car in park and jumped out. I stripped my pants off and threw them down, just in time to see a car drive by. I was standing pants-less in the street on the main entrance to our neighborhood. Yay for me. I never did find yellow jacket that caused all the craziness. So much for getting the girls to school early. At least we were going to make it on time. Then I waited to pull out on the highway for over 5 minutes because they were paving the road. I still thought we would be okay because we had left super early. Until I got across town and got caught behind a car accident that had just happened. Everyone seemed to be fine, so no worries there. The police were pulling up at the same time I did. By then, it was evident that I would have to wait quite a while to pull across the highway....the traffic was basically sitting still even though the left lane was completely open. People are so nosey. Nothing stopping them from moving but their own sick curiosity. 

We were finally getting out of the car at school when Avie announced that she had to go potty. It was 8 o'clock on the dot. We stopped by the potty on the way to their classrooms. Avie had actually allowed me to help her, which is rare. After we sent Addie into her class, Avie told me her pants were wet. What? That's not possible. After confirming that she did need to change, we stopped by her classroom and asked her teacher for her clothes bag. I'm not sure what I did wrong when I took her to potty. Maybe I was concentrating too much on being careful to not hurt my back and not enough on being sure her pants were out of the way. I got her changed, took her to class, got her snack set up on her table, signed both girls in 10 minutes late, and headed to the car. As I started to unlock it, I realized that I still had Addie's snack bag in my hands. Back into the school I went.

What a morning. I'm exhausted all over again just thinking about it. It has gotten much better now. The burning in my leg has finally eased off...those yellow jackets stings feel like acid running through you! Hope your morning went better than mine!!!! 

You know, I decided to cheat

Remember when I said before that Mr. Wonderful and I have been attending classes in hopes of being selected to become foster parents?

If you don't remember me mentioning that, it is probably  because you clicked on the link I posted last week on facebook that took you to a post all about sappy love songs called, "YouTube kick." I sincerely apologize for that. I didn't realize that the link would bring you to that post. The sappy love songs were really just for me...I had no intentions of asking you all to sit through them! The link I meant to send you to, "actually watch the videos" had silly songs at the beginning then talked about foster parenting toward the end. If you missed it and are curious as to why in the world we wish to become foster parents, then you can go back and read it :)

  Okay, so remember I said how much work has been involved in taking those classes? Well, a lot of that work is meant to help them get to know us better and help them make the best decision regarding our ability to foster. Most of the "work" has been fairly simple up to this point, such as answering specific questions about ourselves and our lives. Well, this week it got a little complicated. Meaning that they asked us to write an autobiography. Really? An autobiography?! Um, okay.....I guess....If you really want me to...

Initially, I was thinking, "that's a pretty big request, but I'm pretty good at putting things on paper, so I'm sure I can handle it." I came home, put on my comfy pjs, propped up some pillows, grabbed my pen and paper, and crawled into bed to write. And then something strange happened. I wasn't exactly sure what to write. I found myself looking at the guide that they gave us and just answering the questions on there. Most of what I wrote didn't even make sense. It was a disaster. 
I never have any problems talking about myself and my life when I'm blogging. I decided that I would look back over my blog posts and just print a few of them off and then fill in the blanks to make a finished product. You know, I decided to cheat. Blogging comes so easily for me. I'm not sure what the difference is. I guess that when I blog I feel like I'm am having a conversation with my best friend. I never really think about anyone really reading it. That is probably why I usually end up revealing such personal things...I just feel comfortable sharing it and completely forget that someone may actually stumble on it and read the intimate details of my chaotic and crazy life!
After looking over a few of my old posts, I think the hardest part of this "autobiography" project will be trying to narrow it down! I sure don't want my worker falling asleep as she reads about my boring life!! 


  

YouTube Kick

Loving you, Mr. Wonderful.

So, obviously I'm still on the YouTube kick. I love the song, "God gave me you." Most people know it because it is a fairly new release from Blake Shelton. But I loved it long before he recorded it.

I had heard it several times a while ago on the radio and just didn't know who sang it. I'm so glad that I decided to look it up. It is this guy, Dave Barnes. I'm sure many of you have heard of him before, but I'm a mommy of two little girls who insist on listening to their music when we are in the car. After I drop them off, I am only in the car by myself for a few more minutes before I get to the shop. So I never really have an opportunity to keep up with all the new music. But once I found him, I listened to some of his other music, and I didn't hear anything that I didn't love! 

Here is his version of "God gave me you." I love the video. And, yes, I know that I'm "such a girl."

Swoon, right?

Then there's this one.

Think it can't get any better? What about his version of "My Girl," one of the greatest songs ever?!

Possibly the best cover ever. 

With all of these sweet love songs, I can't help but think of mine and Mr. Wonderful's wedding song. We didn't really have a song when we were dating....we had more of a "thing" we did every time we heard a sappy love song or just a song we loved...we would sing to each other in the most theatrical voices and dance :) So, when it came time to narrow it down to just one song for the wedding, we had a LOT to go through. When we finally listened to this one, the lyrics just said it all. This song could have been written about us. Although I don't particularly care for the artist singing it in this video, the friend who sang it at our wedding has an amazing voice. I actually told his wife once that I were her, I would never let him stop singing to me!

Love, love, love that song. Can't do anything but picture Mr. Wonderful when I hear it.

actually watch the videos!!

Okay, so I completely admit that this song is totally dorky. But at the same time, it is so true! I came across it as I was searching YouTube for something else, and I just had to post it as a shout out to all the awesome mom's who take time out of their super busy schedule to read my blog :)

For this next song, be prepared to listen closely. His singing is silly and there are a few times he is hard to understand.

Okay, so that one was totally dorky, too. But, also, so true! I saw it, loved it, laughed out loud, I listened to it again, and decided to share it as a warning for all the husbands who read my blog :)

Okay, for this one you REALLY need to listen closely. And be prepared to read quickly as you listen!

This one I had heard before, but forgotten about. I am so excited that I found it again! Another awesome shout out to the mom readers!! If you don't know who Anita Renfroe is or have never heard her comedy before, you have got to find her! She is great!!

This next one doesn't have a video to go with it. Just a picture of three goofy guys with amazing voices. This song has amazing lyrics.

This is the song I was searching for that caused all the chaotic YouTube video posting. Did you notice that these are the same guys who sang the "Mom Song"? Yeah, super talented, aren't they! I've always loved this song. It is just so sweet. I feel as if this is a song just for me from my Heavenly Father. I just brings me to tears every time I hear it. It is an amazing reminder that God has a plan and a purpose for us all. 

Of course, this song also makes me think of my sweet little girls. I love them so much and I only want the very best for them. I hear a great amount of disapproval from others about the way Mr. Wonderful and I choose to raise our girls. We feel that it is extremely important to shelter them from the world, and we do everything we can to do exactly that. The most common criticism we hear is that our girls will not be able to "fit in with the world." I understand where people are coming from when they say that. But what they don't understand is....that is exactly what I want! I realize that one day my girls will have no choice but to deal with the world and it's ways, and that will be for the rest of their lives. So why wouldn't I want to protect them from it now while they are still so young and innocent?

Another reason I have been searching for this song is the same reason that I haven't been blogging lately and have been so busy. Mr. Wonderful and I have been taking GPS classes for the past 6 weeks because we would like to become foster parents. I didn't want to mention it before because we have to be "selected and approved" to be able to do this. So if there were some chance that things wouldn't work out, then I just didn't want to have to answer a lot of questions about it. But I feel so strongly that this is exactly what God is calling us to do. He has given me a heart for children and I know that He intends for me to use it for this purpose. As I look back over the years, I can see all the ways He has been preparing Mr. Wonderful and me for this. Foster parenting is not something we are approaching lightly. We are very aware of how difficult it will be and how much it will change our lives. We have felt led in this direction for many years and have always kept the option of adoption open. We have spent much time in prayer and feel that now is the time. 

The reason I wanted to hear this song again is that I think all of the children entering foster care need to have someone say this to them or make them feel this way. No matter what they have been through or how they act, they need to know that someone loves them and cares about them. They need to know that love is not just an emotion. They need to see that love is an act. They need to see love in action. They need to see love the way that God loves them. This song represents the message that I hope to bring to every single child who enters my home. This song represents the message that I hope to get across to their families. The message that God can take what is broken and He can make it whole and that He loved them enough to die for them. Please pray for us and for our girls as we get deeper into this journey.

I hope you enjoyed these videos as much as I did. Isn't laughter a wonderful thing? Oh, and if you didn't bother to actually watch the videos or listen to the songs, do yourself a favor and go back and check them out! They are so worth it :)

Love and prayers for you all!

If you only knew...

If you only knew what my house looked like right now, you would be doing any or all of the following: 

screaming at me to get off the computer and clean,

cringing and being thankful that your house doesn't look like that, 

calling the tv show "Hoarders" to let them know you found someone for their next episode,

 or locking me up in a pink padded room.

"Why a pink padded room," you ask? Well, AvieLu's birthday party is this Saturday. Yup. I decided to paint, swap bedrooms, swap closets (including reorganizing & cleaning them out), build a dining room table, paint dining room chairs, and completely reorganize the toys one week before I have tons of people over for my sweet little girl's birthday party.

"What were you thinking," you ask? Well, I was thinking that I have tons of stuff to do and not much time to do it...so why not start now?! We still haven't completely finished our family room and dining room makeovers. But they really only need a few finishing touches. I know that it is crazy to start another project before we finish the others, but when it comes to organizing or remodeling, you just can't work on one room without messing up another. So, since everything was already a mess, and most of the finishing touches involve Mr. Wonderful having time to get to them, I decided to go ahead and move on.

When I said, "tons of stuff to do and not much time to do it" I was referring to my own timeline. We have a lot of things going on right now (I'll have to tell you about them later) and we are trying to get ready for those things. I told Mr. Wonderful last week that I felt like I was "nesting." And, even though we are not expeting and do not plan to be, I guess that I am nesting in some ways. In the way that I am preparing for something. Something that I feel will take up lots of time. Something that I am anxiously excited about. Something that I don't really know what to expect from. Something that makes me feel a strong need to have all things in order to prepare for.

I am hoping to finish up all of these crazy projects by tomorrow so that I can start working on birthday party stuff! I know I've left you wondering, but I'm short on time today. I will try to post again next week, with pics of everything and details about our journey as we attempt to follow God's plan for our lives. Until then, please keep us in your prayers.

vbs brag session

Because this post is all about VBS, I'm sure you are all thinking that I am a total slacker. Especially considering the fact that VBS "season" has been over for quite a while. But actually, that is what makes this post so special! I'll try to avoid being too chaotic while I explain what I mean. 

My girls attended bible school at their grandparents' church this year, just as they did last year. But this year was different, because they were both old enough to go to a "real" class. Of course, the baby/toddler class is awesome and AvieLu had a blast last year; but the "real" classes are super special because the children are older and better equipped to listen and retain what they are taught. 

I picked them up from preschool yesterday, took them home, fed them lunch, and put them down for nap. After they got up, I got busy painting our kitchen. (And, yes, I know I've left you hanging on how the reno is going, but details are coming. Promise.) The girls had been playing really well by themselves for quite a while before they decided to leave their playhouse (climb out from under the dining room table) and ask me to turn on "SonSurf beach blast, yeah, everybody, let's go".......And, yes, that is exactly how they say it every single time they ask to listen to it, which is many, many times a day.....so I turned on their VBS tunes and we had a singing/dancing party for three right there in the kitchen.

It may sound strange, but this is every day life for us. You know, the dancing and singing in the kitchen, car, store, yard, etc. to VBS tunes. For some reason, though, yesterday, I realized that I never blogged about VBS this year. I still feel the exact same way as last year about how great VBS is, and obviously, my girls do, too, so how dare I not blog about it! I mean, it has been months since they attended VBS and yet they are still talking about it!!! And, that, my friends, is exactly what makes this post so special!!!! 

So I decided to re-post my last year's brag session about it! Of course, there was a different theme and different songs this year so I made a couple of changes to make the post specific to this year, so I hope it makes sense :)

Among other amusing conversations heard around our chaotic life lately is, "Mommy, is  SonSurf beach blast, yeah, everybody let's go in the car?" "Yes, Addie and AvieLu. SonSurf beach blast, yeah, everybody, let's go is in the car."  They are referring to their CD of Vacation Bible School music, which they are completely in love with.

Addie goes to sleep singing those catchy little tunes to Happy every night. AvieLu sings them to her baby dolls all day. They both insist on listening to them over and over and, yes, over again in the car. They do the hand motions and everything. I can't believe they remember them after several months, but they do! 

In years past I am sure that I would inform you of how annoying the repetition can be and how I think the people who come up with those catchy little tunes that get stuck in your head forever and ever should be punished to listen to them forever and ever. But that would have been terrible of me. I am thankful that I absolutely do NOT feel that way now.

I love those bible verse songs. I love that my almost 3 and 4 year olds sing proudly that Jesus is "the Way, the Truth, and the Life" thanks to those songs. I love that the girls' favorite song says, "When I am afraid I will trust in You. You are all I need, I will run to You."  I love that VBS (which is thought of by some as a glorified baby sitting service) has made such an incredible impact on my little girls. Of course, the crafts they make are adorable. I have enough adorable fridge art to last a lifetime! And the friendships they form are incredible. I know that the girls don't completely understand what all they are singing, but I pray that the Word of God they heard during that week will continue to sing so sweetly to them for many years to come. And when God chooses to call them, I pray that they will be ready to invite Him into their hearts!

I know that seeds were planted in my little girls' hearts as well as others the week of VBS. How amazing is it to think about the children who came to Bible School and have parents, grandparents, or older siblings that are unsaved. I pray that those children are carrying the message of Christ home to them through these catchy little songs and cute little crafts!
To anyone who has ever participated in, cooked for, taught at, or helped out in any way at a Vacation Bible School at any church, I thank you so much. Please don't ever think that what you did was too small to count or that you didn't make an impact. My children are proof that even the youngest hearts can be touched!!

If you haven't ever helped out at a VBS, I must tell you that you are missing out on some of the greatest fellowship possible. Unfortunately, I was not able to help out this year as I do every other year because of being so busy with the shop. But I can promise you that when I actually bother interrupt my schedule enough to participate in church events other than Sunday School and Worship Service, I get to know people on a completely different level than possible in the usual Sunday services.  VBS is an amazingly wonderful and exhausting experience and I am so thankful for it!! I hope that all of you had a great VBS also and are still singing catchy little tunes, too!

Picture Overload

Warning: Picture overload ahead!!

HER Chaotic Family Photo Session



"Happy face, silly face, and mad face" compliments of our very own supernanny :)

We love you, Talor!!

Mr. Wonderful & Addie running around our "wall island" to yell "rawwr" & scare AvieLu.

His face is hilarious. Her squeal was priceless.

Couldn't help but notice the drastic difference between mommy play and daddy play.

Mommy lays on the couch and sings songs and makes silly faces.

Daddy throws them over his shoulder and runs around the house yelling like a crazy person.

Silly Sisters...taking after their daddy

Greatest Daddy Ever!!

(at least in our chaotic world!)

Perfect opportunity to show off the girls' opposite personalities.

Addie - dancing and singing

Avie - smacking daddy on the head

The following pictures document our renovation chaos. By the way, if you aren't a fan of child labor, view at your own risk ;)

Oh, and don't judge us. We know we are nuts.

Entering the house from the driveway, the doorway in this pic leads to the kitchen and is doorway we are closing up.

The girls helped with the demo. And let me assure you that although they did help tear things up, they did not help things move any faster!

This pic is the view from the corner of the dining room beside the french doors that lead to the back yard.

Please ignore all the junk piled up on the dining room table...I was still in the process of re-loading the laundry room.

The laundry room doors are open and the doorway to the far left leads into the family room.

 This is the view from the kitchen. The doorway to the left side is being closed. The doorway to the right leads into the family room then into the dining room. This is what we call our "wall island" The girls always ride their bikes around in circles here and love to play hide & seek around it. 

Progress!

Not sure if I should call this pic progress or regress.

Just as we got the drywall hung and slapped some mud on it...Mr. Wonderful decided it was time for more demo.  

And after several days of having to work late and not getting to touch the room...this is what it still looks like today.

Powder footprints down the hallway are getting on my nerves, but it will be so worth it when we are finished! I seriously hope we get to work on it this weekend. Any volunteers for keeping my rugrats...I mean little angels?!

Isn't looking too good

If you know us or read this blog regularly, then you probably already know that Mr. Wonderful and I are bit obsessed with renovating and updating our house. I told you before that we live in a match box...that means that we must make the most of every bit of space we actually do have! Currently, our matchbox is covered in sheet rock dust and everything is out of place. And, unfortunately, it seems that it may take a while before things are better. Let me explain.

After a great church service/children's church service on Sunday, we had an even better lunch with the family, and followed that with a really nice nap :) We got up and Mr. Wonderful mentioned cutting the grass. Ugh. I couldn't even think about it. It's just too hot. Instead, I started unloading the laundry room. Why? I just wanted to see if we had enough space to move the washer and dryer to the other side of the room. I know it doesn't really make sense in theory, but whatever. I did it anyway because Mr. Wonderful didn't tell me not to. After dragging every single thing out of the laundry room, not only was our dining room full of junk...but we discovered that moving the washer and dryer just wasn't an option...for now. Mr. Wonderful was concerned that I may be upset that my laundry room makeover wouldn't be happening. Imagine his delight when I informed him that a kitchen makeover was just the thing to make me feel better! 

I wish so much that I had pictures to show you. I'll try to get some together to show you a before and after...that is if we ever get finished!! Entering our house from the driveway/side door, there used to be a narrow hallway leading to the kitchen. On the right side of this hallway was my laundry room and on the left side was a wall separating you from the dining room. 

My dad, Mr. Incredible, tried to talk me out of this hallway when we were building the house by insisting that it was wasted space, but I insisted that I did not want my laundry room opening up to my dining room. It only took Addie's first birthday party to convince me that my dad was right...the hallway was wasted space. 

Although the dining room has french doors leading outside and a large opening to the family room, it felt really tight in there. When you went in there to sit, it was almost as if you were trapped. Hmmmmm....that three feet in the hallway sure would help do away with that "trapped" feeling. 

About two years ago, I sweet talked Mr. Wonderful and Mr. Incredible into taking down that wall for me. Yes, my laundry room opens to the dining room now, but at least we can actually use the dining room! Hooray!! Plus, I have plans to swap out the closet style laundry room doors for some interior french doors. I think that will help it look a bit more formal.

The reason I had to "sweet talk" my guys into doing the work for me is that the hallway wall was load bearing, all of the light fixtures had to be moved (can lights and the chandelier), and the tile had to be patched (because we weren't..and still aren't... ready to completely replace the flooring), and so on, and so on.

At the time of this particular renovation, I thought I wanted to keep the doorway (that used to be at the end of that narrow hallway) leading to the kitchen. I thought it would be easier to bring food into the dining room and make clean-up easier, also. And it is. I still like it there, but my kitchen "things" seem to have outgrown my kitchen cabinets. Therefore, the doorway must be closed so that more kitchen cabinets can be installed in the kitchen. Whew! I knew that was a super long description, and I'm sure I probably lost you along the way, but maybe I can post a few pictures later to clear things up.

Enter the kitchen renovation that would take my mind off the laundry room renovation fail!!

As I loaded all of the junk back into the laundry room, Mr. Wonderful, with the help of Addie and Avie, started the demo of the doorway. Monday evening, he framed up the wall and pulled the wires for a new plug.

Tuesday, he hung the sheet rock. I decided that although I had never mudded (is that even a word?) sheet rock before, I would try it out. As I started, Mr. Wonderful decided that as long as we were making a mess of the house and covering everything in sheet rock dust, we should go ahead and demo the partial wall in kitchen. We had planned on taking out part of that kitchen wall and adding a peninsula that would not only provide extra cabinets, but also seating on the family room side. But we just didn't plan on doing it now. 

So, just as our house was starting to look like a house again instead of a construction zone...more demo!! The house is a wreck right now, complete with white powder footprints down the hallway. Know what else? Mr. Wonderful called to inform me that he has to work late tonight and probably several nights. Yuck. 

As he was working the other night, he asked me how long he had before I became super ill about the house being messed up (because we all know it's gonna happen). I gave him a week. Hmmm. Isn't looking too good for you, is it, Honey?! Just kidding! I love you and our out of control remodeling!!!

mercies in disguise

Before you read the song lyrics in quotes, scroll down and play the song then scroll back up so  you can read the lyrics as you listen. Yes, I could have put them in order and made it easier for you...but you know computers and I don't get along, so just do the work for me this time! Thanks :)

"We pray for blessings. We pray for peace. Comfort for family. Protection while we sleep.

We pray for healing. For prosperity. We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering. And all the while, You hear each spoken need. Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom. Your voice to hear. We cry in anger when we can not feel You near.

We doubt Your goodness. We doubt Your love. As if every promise from Your Word is not enough. And all the while You hear each desperate plea. And long that we'd have faith to believe.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us. When darkness seems to win. We know, the pain reminds this heart that this is not, this is not our home. It's not our home.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life, 

is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise?"

This song, "Blessings" by Laura Story, is my new favorite.

I had heard it a several times on the radio, but never really got to pay attention to the lyrics.....listening to the radio with my little girls in the car isn't an easy thing because currently they refuse to listen to anything that isn't either Taylor Swift or SonSurf VBS music...what a combination!!

I don't even remember how or why I came across this song last week. But I do remember that I listened to it over and over.

I'm sure I've said this before, but I'll say it again just in case you missed it last time. I believe that so much healing can come from music. I believe that because I have experienced it. God gives such wonderful messages to songwriters. He has blessed them with the ability to reach people in the best and worst of times. Somehow the lyrics of a song can match up perfectly with what I'm thinking and feeling and just can't find the words to say. Or sometimes when I am feeling lost and searching for answers, a song can speak to my heart and I know it was placed in my path for a purpose. And something about hearing those lyrics and singing along with them. I don't suppose it makes sense unless you have experienced it for yourself. But it can provide a feeling of almost relief. It just does something amazing when you finally find the words to say or even hear the words you needed to hear. Song lyrics can carry so much truth and meaning. And that is exactly what I feel about Laura Story's "Blessings."

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes we have to go through things we don't want to go through. We have to deal with things we shouldn't have to deal with. We have to experience things that are painful and difficult and scary and unfair. All around us there is suffering. The suffering can come in many ways. Sometimes it is easy to spot the suffering, but other times we may never know what another person is going through. The sudden loss of a loved one, difficulty of everything involved in caring for sick family, personal illness, ongoing family illness, disappointment in our personal lives, broken relationships and families, financial difficulties, and on and on.

In my personal experience and in my experience of ministering to others, the common thread in almost all suffering is the question: Why? Why is this happening to me? Them? Us? Why are we having to go through this?

While I don't have the answer to those specific questions, I know who does. God. He is the answer that we seek. Our Heavenly Father sees it all. He is with us through it all. And He has a plan. He has an amazing plan. We can't see past our current conditions. We don't have the ability to think past our present state. But God can. He can see the big picture. He can look ahead and see what is coming. He can use our present to better prepare us for our future.

If we will cling to Him instead dwelling on our troubles....If we will ask Him for strength that we don't have instead of trying to handle things ourselves....If we will give Him the opportunity to work through us and be seen through us....No, we won't find a miracle cure that makes all bad things go away. But we will find is a way to survive those bad things. A way to come through them and be stronger. A way to use our experience to help others. A way to glorify God and find ourselves in a deeper relationship with Him than we ever imagined possible.

When Mr. Wonderful and I lost Baby....for the first time in our lives, we truly felt as if we had hit rock bottom. And when we were lying flat on our back, we had nowhere to look but up. We not only looked up, but we reached up, and we haven't looked back. I won't even pretend it was an easy thing to do. But I will tell you that by trusting Him and looking to Him and begging Him over and over, God has given us strength that I would have never imagined possible. Strength and comfort beyond comparison. 

     

 I know that some people look at us and feel sorry for us because of all that we have been through. They tell us that we are too young to have already experienced so much sadness in our lives. I can see people begin to shift in their chairs because they are so uncomfortable when I talk about Baby and AnnaSue. Some people have even been bold enough to say that because I can and do (and intend to continue to) speak of my babies that I lost, that I am just heartless and cruel and must have not even been upset about losing them. (Those people are just crazy and should keep their opinions to themselves) Well, sure, I could say I wish they had never happened, but I won't. Not now. Not now that I can see what God knew all along. And, honestly, I must say that I almost feel bad for someone who has always had a perfect life and has never experienced anything difficult. It is sad to think that they may not know what it is like to cling to Jesus with everything you have and to completely depend on Him, not only for the strength to get out of bed, but to depend on Him for the strength to take your next breath.

To me, that is what this song is saying. Instead of being upset about our current situations, we should just realize that God is with us through them. And, if we will let Him, He can and will use them to bless us. I found hope, love, and even conviction in this song. I know that God placed it in my path because it was exactly what I needed....because His plan is perfect.

Love and prayers for you all!  

they just keep coming

Can't stop the tears from falling today. No matter how hard I fight them back, they just keep coming.

When I was checking my e-mail yesterday, I found out that a man in our town passed away. He left behind a wife, a teenage daughter, and a teenage son. The e-mail was from a family friend of mine who is really close to this family. I stopped and prayed for this family and then moved on. It was on my mind, but I was really sick yesterday and spent the day just trying to make it to 6 pm so I could go home and get in bed.

I finally made it home. Crawled on the couch and spent the evening watching my girls play. Mr. Wonderful did everything from cooking supper to folding laundry to bathing girls for me. He was putting them in bed when the phone rang. I answered and was surprised when I heard the voice of a young man. This young man was in our class when Mr. Wonderful and I were involved in student ministry. This young man is very special to our family. We have been a part of his life from the beginning. He will be a senior in high school this year. He was calling to let me know that the e-mail I received earlier that day was about the father of his very close friend. And that changed everything.

My mind hasn't stopped racing since that phone call. My heart hasn't stopped pounding. And the tears haven't stopped flowing. All I can think of is how precious time is. 

I don't know the man who's life ended so soon. I don't know his wife or his children. But I do know that the fact that they will have to continue to live their lives without him...well that is just a terrible thing. How do you do that? How do you keep going when a part of you is missing? I just don't know. But I do know that God has a plan. I know that God has an amazing plan. I completely trust that He knows what He is doing. I know that He can take the absolute worst of situations and turn them into something wonderful. 

As I lay in bed last night, fighting to get to sleep, I thought about my life. If it ended now, what legacy would I be leaving? For my children? For my husband? For my family and friends? Would they know without a doubt that I was in a better place? Would they cry for themselves because they miss me but rejoice for me because I'm in Heaven? Would they have wonderful memories to look back on? Would they smile when they think of me? Would my girls grow into the Godly women I've tried to teach them to be? Would they remember the lessons I've tried to teach them and the values I tried to instill in them? Would they understand why I pushed so hard for them to be kind and loving to others? Would they want to be like me? Would Mr. Wonderful know just how much I love him? Would he know how much confidence I have in his ability to raise the girls? Would he be bitter because I had left him alone or would he wait patiently for the day when he will see me again?
And the biggest questions that were weighing on my heart, would they be better off without me? Am I doing everything I need to be doing to fulfill my purpose here? What is my purpose here? Am I making an impact on those around me? Am I making the very most of my time?
I'm pretty torn when trying to answer those questions. One part of me feels certain that although I am not perfect, I am doing everything possible to leave a legacy I can be proud of. One of love and kindness and generosity and selflessness. One of putting Christ first in everything and teaching others about God's love. One my children and husband can look at and say they are proud of. One my parents can be proud of.
Another part of me feels certain that I am failing in all aspects. I don't do enough. I don't care enough. I don't love enough. I don't teach enough. I don't study enough. I'm not there enough. I'm not putting enough energy and effort into making an impact on others.

So, what now? What of all this thinking and these tears?
Make the most of every moment. Don't waste a second of your time. Take time to enjoy the little things. Don't always be in a rush. Don't put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Don't just sit back and observe, join in. Take lots of pictures. Don't hide from the camera when someone else is taking pictures. Sing even if you sound terrible. Dance even if you look terrible. Be silly. Don't take yourself too serious. Laugh until you cry. Have fun. Enjoy life. Enjoy your children. Never, ever be too busy to play with them. Spend time with your family. Don't take things for granted. Use your talents instead of wasting them. Even if you are sure someone knows how you feel about them, tell them anyway. Always be quick to say I'm sorry. Don't hold a grudge. Be forgiving. Remember that nobody is perfect. Stop trying to be perfect and just be yourself. If there is something you don't like about yourself, change it now. Pick up the phone and call as soon as someone enters your mind. Don't wait.  Live every day in a way that you can be proud of. Don't dwell on the past, but always learn from it. Be the kind of person you want your children to be.  Live every single day as if it were your last. With every breath you take, tell someone about Jesus.     

It's about time! Part 2

The previous post, "It's about time!" were the pictures promised from Addie's 4th birthday party.

I didn't even try to write comments on that post because computers and I don't play well together....the last time I added pics I almost tossed the computer out the window because it kept deleting them!

I know it is annoying to read about the pictures and not be able to look at them, but trust me, doing it this way saved me soooo much sanity! The first pic is of me and Addie. Actually getting to take a picture with the girls is such a rare thing, so I love this one. This was taken at the end of the party when my sweet 4 year old was very tired...I'm pretty sure she is leaning on me so she won't fall over!

The second pic is of my sweet birthday girl opening her presents. This is one of my favorite times of the party. All of the kids crowd around and help open everything and get excited together and talk about how much they like everything. I love having them all piled up in my lap! There is nothing better!!
I think it is so sad to go to a party and have the parents of the "birthday child" keep the other children away and refuse to let them be a part of this time. I have witnessed what I think is probably the worst of the worst and have even seen a parent pushing other kids telling them they are "in the way." So, so sad. If you don't want anyone else to touch your child's things, then you should wait until everyone is gone to open gifts. Also, if you have no intention of making your child share their toys, then please don't invite my children over to play! I took my girls over to play with someone once before and overheard the parent telling my Addie that this was their child's room and so their child got to decide what to do. I was appalled. I will never, ever take my girls there again. When my girls have friends over, their friends are always right, always get to decide what to do, and always have a blast!! They also always leave crying because they are having so much fun. My girls love it, too, though. I just think it is so important to teach children early to put others first. Jesus always put others needs before His, so I do my very best to do the same (and to teach my children to, also) in every way possible.

The third picture is of Addie and Avie in one of the kiddie swimming pools we had set up. They are playing with the sponge balls Mr. Wonderful and I made the night before. I had bought water balloons for the party, but then found a tutorial online (sorry, can't remember where or I'd give credit!) where you cut up cleaning sponges and tie them together to make splash sponge balls. They were a huge hit at the party! Dip them in the pool and let them soak up some water, and then toss them at someone and watch them get drenched!! So much fun!! And so much better than picking up a zillion water balloon pieces :)

The fourth picture is of Addie and Avie at one of the kids tables getting into the stash of water toys. I had buckets set out full of sponge balls and water guns for everyone to play with. 

The fifth picture is of the food table. You can't see them, but I made watermelon sugar cookies. Yup! Homemade sugar cookies, Martha Stewart's awesome recipe, homemade icing, complete with chocolate chips as the seeds! I thought they turned out adorable and super yummy :) My nephew even helped me make some of them! I try to keep the food all kid-friendly at our parties, so we had chips & dip, pigs in a blanket, cheese puffs, goldfish, grapes & strawberries, brownie bites, lots of watermelon wedges, ice cream and cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes!

The sixth picture is of the birthday cake. I ordered it from Publix and I think they did a great job. I didn't realize when I first placed the order, that it was for an 8 inch round cake. Hmmm, doesn't even come close to feeding everyone. So I put in a call to Mrs. Incredible and she came through with cupcakes at the last minute!

The next picture is of Avie going down the massive water slide we rented for the party. She stayed on that thing the whole time. I think everyone who came loved it. My 13 & 14 year old nephews even brought a friend to the party....all three of them had so much fun on that slide! I can't believe that I was actually worried about the older ones getting bored! Even though none of the adults got on it, we had the greatest time watching and laughing at all the kids who played on it. Most of us stood at the bottom of the slide and watched the whole time. We will definitely rent it again!

The last picture is of Addie again. I love that she has a "KoolAid face" in this one. My mother, Mrs. Incredible gave her butterfly earrings and a pink pearl bracelet for her birthday. My sister gave her pearl earrings and a birthstone ring. Addie was so excited to have jewelry, so I had to include this pic of her holding the box.

I can't believe my baby is four years old. It seems that time has flown by. She amazes me every single day with her kind heart. She is so sensitive and sweet. She can also be a handful. When she makes up her mind about something, she will throw the biggest fit over it. But then after the fit is over, I can look at her and see how much she regrets it. She feels terrible when she acts out. She really just wants to please everyone. She is the greatest big sister to Avie. I love seeing them interact. They play so well together. I love to listen to them talk to each other. Their conversations are the greatest.
When I first found out that I was expecting Avie, Addie was only seven months old. Everyone kept saying how sad it was that Addie wouldn't get to "have her time" and that she wouldn't get to be the baby anymore. I never really felt that way because I was excited that they would be close. I loved having sisters. I loved always having someone to play with and talk to and hang out with. I know that I was the youngest and that my two older sisters probably didn't feel that way...I'm sure they thought I was pretty annoying. But I don't think Addie feels that way. She may one day when they are older, but for now I truly believe that she loves having a little sister. She never seems to mind including Avie and always wants to help her do things. I pray that they always stay close and enjoy spending time together like this.

Happy birthday to the greatest big sister in the world. 
I love you, Addie!   

It's about time!

wish list

Okay, so depression has set in.

I was talking with Mr. Wonderful last night about my "dream renovation."

You know, just perfecting my plans. You know, just in case we win the lottery or someone decides to give us a bazillion dollars. Both of which are unlikely considering the fact that we don't buy lottery tickets or know a bazillionaire.

My "dream renovation" includes making changes to every single room in our home.

Yup. Every single one.

Some are small changes, and some include either major demolition or construction. Some include both. I know it sounds crazy. But I love my home. I love the location of my home. I want to stay in my home forever. The problem? My home is the size of a matchbox! 

So, along with changes to the existing frame of the house, my dream reno involves doubling the size of our home. I can see it when I close my eyes. It's amazing.

So, where did the depression come from? Aside from the fact that I know this dream reno will never take place? Well, my existing kitchen is actually pretty perfect already. I just want to add a few cabinets. And the only appliance I really want is a new refrigerator. I have a double oven on my wish list, but it isn't necessary. I decided to price check my precious counter-depth refrigerator to see how much of a possibility it would be....oh, my!!!

I understand that to most people that isn't much, but to me that is just way too much to spend on appliances. As long as my food stays cold, I don't really care what it looks like. But I really do want it to be counter-depth. If I purchase a standard one, it will stick out too far into my kitchen and take up valuable space. That means that if I purchase a standard one, Mr. Wonderful will have to knock out the wall between the kitchen and the laundry room in order to save that space in the kitchen...but then that would take up valuable space in the laundry room. Hmmmmm. Quite the dilemma.

Moving on from my expensive taste...I have so many things on my "to do" list that I can't even keep up with it all.

I really want to make some clothes to put in the shop. I know exactly what patterns I would use and everything.

I also want to paint my house. I have been looking at the same colors for sooo long. Can't take it much longer.

I want to finish the work we started on the yard. We need to cut some more trees, grind more stumps, spray more crazy vines, get rid of the huge pile of bricks that our previous neighbors dumped over the fence before we moved there, level it all off, build a frame around the play area, fill with either recycled tires or mulch, and much more.

I want to sand and paint the front porch because it is chipping and looks terrible. 

I also want to build new front steps. The ones we have are too narrow.

I also have a project in mind for making house numbers...we always get someone else's package.

I want to make a new door hanger for every season. Our front door is black and from the road it always looks like it is open. I like to keep something hanging there so you know it is closed! Plus, my watermelon won't last much longer!

I definitely time to finish the girls playhouse. It needs to be painted. It needs paneling. It needs flooring.

I really need to find a chest to put in mine and Mr. Wonderful's room. Clothes are just taking over.

I want a hutch in my dining room and I'm pretty sure that Mr. Wonderful and I can build one when we finish my beautiful new built ins-that we haven't started yet.

Oh my goodness! I wrote the above portion of this post yesterday and came back to finish it today. As I was reading, I realized how greedy and materialistic I sound! I'm so embarrassed. 

The thing is...I really don't care about "things." I know it doesn't seem that way from the huge unfinished list of "things" I'm wishing for, but it's true. The reason behind my wanting my house to have more space is that we are truly overflowing. I don't think it is possible to purge anymore than I already have...my house is pretty barren already! I try to keep things simple and neat and clean. I despise clutter. A simple stack of mail on the counter will drive me nuts! I can't tell you how many times over the last 7 years of living in our house that I have gone through each room, one at a time, and donated truck loads of stuff; furniture, clothes, toys, everything you can imagine. Just trying to clean out and make more space for "living." My mom even told me once that I shouldn't get rid of so much stuff because I may need it one day!

The real reason I want my home to be more polished and larger is that I want the girls to want to be there when they get older. I'm not a big fan of sending my children to someone else's house. I prefer that my girls have their friends come to our home. I would rather let them have 5 friends each spend every single weekend with us than ever spend a night away. I'm not really that paranoid about others. I am just firm about what I want the girls to be exposed to.

I am extremely cautious about what they are allowed to watch on television or listen to on the radio. Mr. Wonderful and I avoid watching television at all when they are awake. Plus, we avoid using any foul language including seemingly harmless words such as stupid, shut up, butt, idiot, retarded, fart, etc. Gasp! I just typed them for all the world to see! You are probably convinced that I am nuts now...as if there were any doubt before...but I'm okay with that. I know that they will be exposed to the things of "the world" before long. I know that I can't keep them from "it" forever. But I do plan to protect them from "the world" as long as possible, and I plan to keep "it" out of my house forever. I want my home to be a safe place for them. A place where they don't have to worry about what anyone thinks of them. A place where they (and everyone who enters) can be comfortable just being themselves.  

I love to entertain and have people over. I want everyone to feel completely comfortable when they walk in my house. I want everyone to help themselves to whatever food or drink we have and know that it is okay to prop their feet on the coffee table. I want the girls to love bringing their friends over. I want their friends to love coming over. I have no way of knowing what someone else's life is like behind closed doors. I don't want my girls to be exposed to something that I'm not comfortable with. But I do know what my home is like. I do know how we live and act and talk and believe. Because I want everyone to come to my home, I want my home to be the place everyone wants to come to. I also want to have enough space for them to be comfortable when they arrive! 

Aside from wanting the girls and their friends to want to be at our house, I have another reason for wanting to do so much maintenance and expansion. My goal is to have our house completely handicap accessible within a few years. From the time I was about 10 years old, I have been around family members confined to wheel chairs and hospital beds. I have seen how difficult it is on the family who cares for them to do the things necessary when the space they are in does not allow for it. Mr. Wonderful and I turned ONLY 30 this year. It seems a bit soon to be concerned with accessibility, but actually it is the perfect time. Why wait until you need something right at that very second to try to get it? Why not look ahead? Even if we are not the ones who my need it, we both want it to be available for our family.
I want to build a master suite with double doors for the bedroom, closet and bath. I also want a walk-in shower that a wheel chair can be wheeled into. I want plenty of space around the "potty" (not toilet!) so that a "potty seat" can be placed over it. There will also have to be enough space to allow for several people in the bathroom at one time.
The front door of our home opens to a very narrow hallway. I would like to turn the front bath into a powder room. The space from the shower and linen closet would be opened to the front entrance. There is nothing worse than rubbing your knuckles against the wall while pushing a wheel chair. I don't want that to happen in my house. 
I am not too concerned with the other bedrooms, as long as we have one that is accessible. At the moment, we only have the one bathroom. It is right off the front hall (that will become a powder room). I really don't like it being there, because it is pretty much open to the family room. If someone stops by and I am getting out of the shower, it is impossible to sneak by without them seeing me.
My reason for wanting to do so much work to our yard is that it doesn't look (and really isn't) safe. Before we built our house, the lot we are on was vacant. The former owners allowed the city to dump loads of fill dirt on that lot. The former neighbors used it as a trash can. You won't believe me, but I'm gonna tell you anyway! Since Mr. Wonderful and I started cleaning up the side and back yard, we have found at least 20 lawn mower batteries, 5-6 rusty lawn chairs, 4 broken toddler riding toys, most of the pieces to an entire swing set, enough glass beer bottles to account for a dozen or more cases, 15 plastic hanging pots, several water hoses, almost an entire set of really nice hand weights (the bench is probably still buried back there), tires, bricks, floor tiles, carpet, roof shingles, at least 20 deflated basketballs, and so much more that I can't even think of. All in our back yard. Yeah, we busted our booties getting all of that cleaned up!!!! And we aren't even finished yet! We're taking volunteers, by the way, if you want to come help :) 
The back and side of our house look out to a corn field. Can you say snakes?! Eeek!! Because the barbed wire fence separating our property from the field is so overgrown, it has always concerned me. The girls love to be outside and play. But I am a bit nervous about snakes in the yard. We've had several over the years and so have our neighbors. If it were cleaned up so that I could see, I may be less worried.
We also have massive water oaks in our back yard. They lose limbs every single time the wind blows. A huge limb fell last year and took out part of our neighbors chain link fence. Thankfully, it missed their house and they weren't upset about the fence. I love the shade that the trees provide, but don't want anyone to get hurt. Eventually, they must all come down. We will, of course, plant new ones in their place and keep them trimmed to try to avoid this happening again.

I know that while trying to "justify" my wish list, I only sounded like a major complainer. But I really do feel that these things are important. Mr. Wonderful's grandfather told us the minute that we purchased our house that we would be busy maintaining it for the rest of our lives. We knew he was right. I also know that my wish list goes way beyond maintenance. That is why it is called a "wish" list! Come on...just admit it...you have one, too! 

Love and prayers for you all!